When being the biggest loser is a good thing!

Our homemade ice cream, topped with cookie bits

Last night, part of my aunty duties involved spending time in the kitchen, forging relationships over a pail of homemade ice cream. The excitement on the face of a 4yr old over an electric ice cream mixer and seeing a milky concoction morph into smooth textured goodness was priceless. What is not so priceless is that I have been dipping into the tub of ice cream all day!

I mentioned that one of my goals for 2015 was around health and fitness, and that I would be participating in a health and fitness challenge at work. Kind of like The Biggest Loser, but without Jillian Michaels, excessive exercising and the cameras, 

So I registered officially this week, so yes, this is really happening!!!

But it was a very traumatic experience to say the least. While I knew I had put on (more) weight, seeing the numbers really affected me deeply. And not just the gross number of pounds flash before your eyes, but on the nifty self-esteem killing device known as the Body Composition Monitor and Scale, you get your body fat percentage, body mass index (BMI) and skeletal muscle among other mind numbing stats. It was a wake up call for sure. Sharing this information with a third party did not help minimise my discomfort. I will admit I was ready to jump in front of a truck after that. lol.

The only churning will be me churning away in the gym

So over the next 8 weeks, we will be working within teams, with the dietitian, and with the fitness schedule to bring these numbers down in a healthy way. There is no expectation that anyone will look like Beyonce after 8 weeks, but the hope is that we will adopt healthier habits and make use of the resources available to us. I am very competitive and so the competition element will go a long way in keeping me honest and motivated. I will admit, a bit of depression has set in over the past few weeks, and this has been my main enabler as I am a comfort eater. I know it has to be more about my health and wellness, etc, but kicking ass is a great motivator as well. I have a target I am working with and so there will be no more aunty/kiddies ice cream sessions. 

This weekend is a tough one - a 5-day weekend with hot cross buns, and get togethers, and already, 2 days of feeling ill and tired. But I gave myself today to rest, regain my strength and not care. That is the lie I told myself every time I opened the freezer today. But it's game on now. Wish me luck!

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Working Towards Life's Bonus in 2015!

KPIs - getting things done!

Happy 2015, folks. Wishing my 2.5 readers a wonderful and productive year!

So I have decided that in goal-setting this year, I am taking another approach. A lot of my time is spent with work – other people’s work and other people’s objectives. While each employee has a personal/individual performance contract outlining how he/she aims to support the company’s objectives, they are not really “personal” in the true sense of the word. We rush around all year working long hours, losing sleep, gaining weight, getting sick from it all, in an effort to meet these KPIs, so we can get a good rating and/or bonus at the end of the year. We rush around, exhaust ourselves, make ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually worn out.

This is all well and good (maybe it is not that good), but what about life’s KPIs? What about the bonus we get out of life itself? What about the bigger ME picture? I figured if we put so much effort in outlining specific targets for work, and some of us face those tough performance conversations with our bosses each year, why can’t we do the same for ourselves, our health, our families?

Working on my 2015 Life KPIs
over a cup of coffee

I have therefore formally written down my 2015 life goals, with base, target and stretch outcomes, and with sections so I can do monthly progress check-ins and self-assessments at the mid-year point, and year-end point, just as is done at work. The monthly check-ins are important. At work, budgets may change, or strategies may change and such changes impact one’s ability to deliver on specific objectives, and so you request an amendment where necessary. Life happens and checking in monthly allows you to re-assess the practicality of the goal(s) set and allow you to tweak said goals or eliminate the goal(s) altogether.

I have not set any grandiose objectives – nothing like “bring about world peace” or “lose 100 pounds”. My objectives are quite simple, so don’t think this is some huge scientific undertaking, with massive, complex sounding aims. But there are things I am working towards and know I want to achieve and so the investment of time and effort has to outweigh the time and effort invested in other activities.

Spending more time with the kiddies - on my KPI sheet!

Some are bigger than others. Some are things that are so simple but I keep putting them off and making excuses and still have not been able to tick them off my bucket list. What about you? Maybe you want to spend more time with your children. I know I certainly am adding “spend more quality time with my niece and nephew” to my list. Aunty cannot be tired every weekend! Or make more time for yourself. I am a huge advocate for “ME” time – and feel not many people subscribe to the belief that “ME” time is essential. Maybe you want to save a bit more this year. How will you do it? 

So typing up my Life Performance Contract, jotting down my KPIs, and will print and place on my dresser – a place I see every morning, every evening and as often as my hair needs fixing or my nose needs powdering. I am also going to give a third party a copy – to keep me honest.

So... onward as we work towards life's precious bonus!

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Trininista - Day in the Life

Who wakes up at 3am? I do.

Life happens. Most days I am too tired or indifferent to blog. It's also been pretty routine lately. So routine that I can share a "Day in the Life" type post with you.

So every morning, whether I am going to workout or not, my alarm clock goes off at some variation of 3.00am. On non-workout days it is 3.45am and sometimes as late as 4.00am. But generally, as I fight the bulge, the alarm goes off at 3.10am.

It is at this point, I drag myself off the bed and change into my workout wear, brush my teeth, make sure I have everything I need. This last bit is very important since I workout near and in the office and so change there as well. In the past, I have left critical things behind - jewellery, shoes, mascara and even pants. Yes, one night I had ironed the pants and hung them on a separate hanger as I was too tired and the next morning, I drove all the way to the office and realised I had no pants. The options were slim - work in sweaty gym pants, sit in just my knickers, go home for pants or just go home. Taking into consideration the traffic in Trinidad after a certain hour, I called my then boss and said I had an emergency and would be taking the day. lol. But I had a great workout.

Queen's Park Savannah in the day
Photo credit: TTCS/D. Teelucksingh

So once I have confirmed I have everything - gym bag with toiletries, shoes, makeup, accessories, my outfit for the day, laptop, lunch bag - I get on the highway and head to the office. Park, go walk/run around the Savannah, praying I survive. Between my general lack of fitness, my knee and the carbon monoxide even at 4.30am, I am always grateful that I finish in one piece. Some mornings I take the workout to the gym, which conveniently is literally behind the wall next to my desk - these are the mornings it is either raining or I am strength training.

Shower. Change. Head to desk. Have breakfast - hard boiled egg white on whole wheat; coffee; a glass of wheat grass drink (blech) and my vitamins. Then I start working. This is usually at 6.30am by now and can involve a range of things - speech writing, report writing, endless calls to our creatives at our agency, endless endless meetings, editing and uploading intranet stuff, editing website stuff and getting the provider to action ASAP, social media stuff, newsletter stuff, internal comms stuff, external comms stuff, proposals, budget monitoring, chasing down stuff, proofing stuff, editing stuff, photo selection, strategy planning and writing, lately a lot of event chairing, which also involves external engagement and hob nobbing (which impacts the fashion choices the night before), endless teleconferences with other critical teams, and all usually running past 4.30pm.

If I leave at 4.30 on the nose, I then sit in traffic for a lifetime, listening to my fave radio show and laughing my head off in my air conditioned car. If I leave at 6pm or beyond, it is then an easier albeit later commute, once it is not raining. 

Get home, scrape up dinner which can be as good as a hot meal or as bad as popcorn or cheese balls. Go through the maddening process of choosing an outfit for the next day and making sure everything is packed, including my pre-prepared lunch and breakfast (I do this on Sunday - make and package both meals and stuff them in the fridge). Pack gym bag, making sure I have the right shoes for the outfit of the day, right accessories. Watch a little tv, pass out usually during said tv show. Shower. Get to bed anywhere between 9.45pm - 11.45pm. This is the part my doctor lectured me about, in addition to being too fat and not getting enough exercise. But I am also not getting enough sleep which also impacts the other two so I have been really working on being in bed by 9.30pm.

This is a typical day. On Fridays, we have happy hour, which involves a cocktail or 5, or which can be a day off as I do get every other Friday off as well. I am now actively trying to use these off Fridays for things other than errands - make them ME days. And I am also looking to add a workout in the afternoon - adding to the chaos that is already my life. Can you believe it? lol. I may never blog again! lol.

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Running into Trouble

Run, baby, run

A co-worker asked me today to go running with her and another colleague in the morning. I actually agreed to it in principle. In reality, I think I may conveniently forget my gym bag at home. There are only a few reasons

- My knee is jacked. I am not sure how or when, but my left knee is a mess and it hurts, and if it hurts when I walk, it will hurt when I run.

- I have not gone running, or walking or done any type of strenuous physical activity in weeks - WEEKS!! I know starting will end this drought, but my inner voice is saying I don't wanna

- But more importantly, the other co-worker who is encouraging us to go run is a beast. I don't mean the girl is not attractive, cause she is. I mean, she is a fitness maven. Hello? She does like triathlons and endurance type competitions and stuff. My idea of endurance is suffering through an entire episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, or sitting in rush hour traffic. Why would I go set myself up for major, earth shattering embarrassment. She is the Xena, Warrior Princess, to my oompa loompa. 

I dunno.I know I neeeeeeeeeeeed to get back into my fitness zone but I am not motivated. At all. I did download some fitness, fat-busting songs onto my iPod but I just skip over them at my desk and listen to Muse and Adele instead. I am getting fatter by the day and soon I will be going to work naked if clothes get any tighter, but I am uninspired - for everything. Even for shopping trips. I have waited til ticket prices to the US and anywhere for that matter on Easter weekend are ridiculously expensive cause I don't want to be the fat kid on vacation. Whether it's trying clothes on or sitting on a beach - being the fat kid is not cute. I'm just not in a good place lately.

Brings me back to this run, doesn't it?

I just need a jump start.

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A Fond Farewell to 2011, Hello and Welcome to 2012

I think 2011 was a good year. Really. It started off a bit shaky, as I had a bad flu and started the year bundled up, freezing and seething at the St George’s Circus bus stop in London – waiting for almost 2 hours for my bus.

But it was a year of successes and great people and I am happy about that. I had my fair share of stress –with exams in the very first week. Add trying to study with sinus headaches, sore throat, hacking cough and fever, in the dead of London winter, and you can imagine my ultimate joy! Semester 2, while on paper, looked like it would be a cake walk, was probably worse than the jam-packed semester 1. The assignments never stopped and then of course, the dreaded D – dissertation which was a nightmare of epic proportions! But even with all that, I managed to get it done, with Distinction, and will be heading back to the Big Smoke in no time at all for my graduation.

I started the year as a student and end it as a grad – an employed grad no less, which is much better than many others can say. I am beyond grateful for that, on a very serious level, because so many of my friends are still job hunting and scouring the job ads, and waiting. I gripe about having to roll off my bed at 3.30 am each day and about how tired I am, but I am thankful that I have a job to get off the bed for. The car won’t pay for itself. Yes…the end of public transportation came at the end of 2011 as well – a real triumph for the high heeled princess. I do not miss running after the South Eastern, South West or Southern trains, or hopping maxis back home. Nope. Don’t miss it.

The Pavilion, Brighton

Though I did not get on a plane this year, other than between home and London, I did manage to do some adventuring. The UK, while cold and grisly, is a beautiful country and I explored other parts of London I had not yet explored (not just the cocktail bars and pubs) and also ventured to areas outside of London for a change, including Windsor, Wales, Bath, Bristol, Brighton, Rye and Hastings. If I could sneak in a trip to Edinburgh on my short escape, 2012 would have started off nicely I think – cold but pleasant.

I enjoyed a few great festivals in London as well, like Taste of London and the Wine and Cheese Festival. I miss events like those actually.

Lots of cooking as well - and now that I am back home, I am sure there will be much more.

I also made my debut as tv star, in the T-Mobile wedding ad, though you can only see the length of my dress and not much else. Still it was a fun experience. Met some great people during that experience.

But not as great as the people I met over the year in London, from classmates, some of whom will be lifelong friends, to the oddball adventures, public dating disasters and funny stories, to those who made the cut. Lol. These people brought fun, laughter, support and everythingness. A girl can only be this lucky once, right? Well, I am awesome, so I have it a hundred times over. My peeps are great!

We lost a friend this year but move forward with renewed hope because friendship is powerful and so is forgiveness.

Blog-wise, I have not always been consistent. When I was too busy with school to blog, I then became too busy with work. Balancing a real life with blogging is often challenging. Still, it is a fun outlet. I did my one and only anonymous vlog, as did Pablo. Did a photo challenge, but in the end, I blogged when I could.

So what will 2012 bring? God knows. I am praying for it to be a happy year – more happiness than sadness. Really hoping everyone, including myself, remains safe and healthy and happy over the 366 days of 2012. We can only ever take it one day at a time but I can still have a long term vision!

The lovely Grenadines, West Indies - right next door

While my movements will be restricted for a while, seeing that I have started a new job and thus have no real vacation time, I will have weekends, so there are places I can still go on a time crunch, including St Lucia, Grenada/Grenadines, Antigua, Miami (of course!), New York (not in the winter like last time) and who knows where else. 2013 will see me back in Europe but until then, gonna love my hemisphere as best as I can.

People wise – the year will undoubtedly end with some farse aunt or family friend asking if the husband will come in 2012 and my farse and bright response will probably be, “Find him and ask him”. I will again be forced to defend singledom and my right to life despite not being tied to some loser til death do us part. I have no idea what life will hold for me but guess what…life does not wait. I have learnt a lot about myself in the past year and reaffirmed what I already knew, and I will be having fun and being the fabulista that I have always been.

That being said, I want to wish you all a very Happy 2012. May all the things you wish for yourselves and your loved ones come to pass, and just have fun. Life is short and love is endless – love life.

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Christmas Party Pooper

So I survived the Christmas parties - and without having to resort to hitting the bottle.

The first one was the staff children's party - an event that in past jobs I managed to avoid like The Black Death but fate caught up with me and I was mandated to be there. I could not even take my nephew which would have at least made it relevant somehow. But in any event, it was painless. The children were not as annoying as I thought they might have been. The magician, however, was a hot mess and could not even sway the kids much less a bitter Trininista, and the snow man was scary even for me, so I was not surprised when one little girl bawled her lungs out when he appeared, out of sheer terror. No lie though - the snow man was beastly! Poor kids.

I also managed to survive the adults' party which in past jobs I had usually been excited about. It was the one time of year I could really shine my swag and go full glam, but this year, I really could not be bothered. I took the decision to recycle an old dress and took it to be ironed at the dry cleaner's the day before. Then later that next evening, when I realised that unforeseen circumstances made wearing this particular dress impossible, I literally threw on a dress I grabbed out of the hamper, without even ironing it - a dress I have worn quite a few times, but noone cared. I didn't. I was glad I had not spent money on a new dress cause it would have been a waste. The party was alright but my heart was just not in the whole thing. Between hormonal rage, exhaustion, and a bitter, biting flu bug, I was not the smurfiest butterfly on the Christmas social scene.

The major highlight of the evening was probably the one guy who had to be wheeled out of the party cause he took "free drinks" to a whole new level. I kid you not. Wheeled out. In a wheelchair. Too drunk to walk. Too drunk to even be conscious. How embarrassing. If that were my man, I would let him go for being such a daft knob.

There is still the small matter of team lunch/gift exchange. God. I should really publicise my memo about not being a Christmassy type but it might be too late, or too soon depending on how you look at it. In any event, in the immediate present, I am now battling a really awful flu which has been kicking my ass now for days but which I intend to beat before the weekend! Hope everyone is well.

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These Heels Were Made for Working

So it's been a while since I posted, so I owe you one.

I resumed high heeled life yesterday - aka work. I did not return to the job I had originally (long story) but started somewhere completely new. It's been interesting, but of course, I never blog about work. I can however blog about other things like my new hair and corporate adventures.

Not much to say about my new hair, other than it's a new look and low maintenance. lol. In terms of the corporate adventures, well, I swear on my dog that I sent HR a harmless, work-friendly photo for the intranet announcement of my arrival. However, apparently my photo was "sexy" and I had a "come hither" look about me, which apparently has found an appreciative audience among certain staff members. This was the feedback from two of my friends of the male variety after they and their other male colleagues saw the bulletin. I am innocent I say!

I spent Day 2 out and about at a conference where I not only learnt stuff, but also met people I have not seen since I came back and so there was a lot of kissing and hugging and "oooohing" and "aaaaahing" and catching up. It was nice. I felt loved. I also felt tired. My body is taking its time getting used to the graveyard shift hours. I wake up at 3.30am on the nose and I am heavily caffeine dependent before the day really gets going. Not good.

Other than that, nothing exciting to share. I am car shopping - an urgent purchase. As you all know I loathe public transportation and it's really bad here. I dread each day I have to take a taxi to get somewhere. Besides the general rudeness of some drivers, you also have the smells and antics of the other passengers. Today's award winning odour came from a woman who clearly wore pumps all day and then changed into flip flops this evening. The trouble was, her feet were stink! Really stink!!! The driver had no choice but to switch off the a/c and turn the windows down. Thank God it was a short ride.

This already feels like the longest week ever!

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When Every Day Feels Like Friday the 13th

Dog tired.

I try not to blog when I feel the way I have been feeling over the past week. It's just like a Debbie Downer. The week basically sucked. I'm not sure why...there was nothing in particular. No unmistakable crisis. I guess it was just a bit of everything. Amusingly enough, spending an entire week working with the youth of this nation really would depress anyone. lol.


So I had a bit of a PT job this week, working on campus - no biggie, just some cash inflow to stem the increasingly traumatic outflow. So, basically it was helping out with clearing. Clearing...a new thing for the non-British me. 

Clearing is a service available between July and September, but for most people it is used after the exam results are published in August. It can help people without a university or college place to find suitable vacancies on higher education courses. If you are flexible and you have reasonable exam results, there is still a good chance you will find another course through Clearing. - UCAS

This has to be one of the most depressing yet at the same time, entertaining jobs ever. First, I was forced to spend an entire week with undergrads - and not just undergrads, but annoying, mostly childish undergrads. Sweet Lord. My eyes rolled in their sockets too many times this week. I mean, I am on the phone, on a call, and this nimrod across from me is playing drums on the desk we share, while I am trying to listen to the poor woman on the line. I had to put her on hold 3 times to ask him to stop, and he looks at me like I am crazy, laughs and continues doing it. And then they wonder why noone will hire them when they graduate!

Then you have the actual clearing, and dealing with that. On the one hand, you have to be the one to tell kids that their grades suck so bad that there is nothing they can get into. You have to listen to their little sobs and their angst over being left behind while all their friends go off to university. Then there were the ones who declined offers at other schools, so they could go through clearing, hoping they could get in to a better course, and then there is no space, leaving them with no offers, no school and a good box about the ears from mum because next year they are going to have to face the tuition increases. When I applied for my degrees, there was nothing traumatic about it. I had choice. I'm a nerd. Getting the student loan was a chore, but I did not have these issues and my heart hurt for some of these kids. Honestly.

Wine needed!!

On the OTHER hand...there were also the ge(r)ms representing the future of England. Kids who had really crap grades and wanted to get on to LLB courses and other courses requiring upwards of 300 points. But it's not even the blind ambition. It was the attitude. No crying and pleading but just damn rude and bright! Example: 

Girl: Yeah...so what can I get for like 80 points? [NB. 80 points can't get you sh...]
Me: (still trying to be helpful, cause it was clearly early on in the process) Not sure if there is anything available but let me check. (check when I know there is nothing). I am so sorry, but we do not have anything available at the moment.

Girl: Wha? Check again.

Me: (annoyed, cause she was not crying or hurting, she was being a twat) I'm sorry. There is nothing available.
Girl: Yeah, you just hang on, yeah. Lemme talk to me mum. (puts me on hold, but I can hear the little witch, saying, "That bitch says there ain't nothin'. And I know she's black...that black bitch.". Then the mother chimes in, "she ain't probably wanna help you")

Me: I can still hear you.

Girl: Oh...ummm...so there's nothing? Can you try again? (suddenly pleasant and conciliatory)

Me: Sorry. Best of luck.

Crying purges the soul they say

She lucky I eh cuss way her ass!

Yes. It was a STELLAR week! Waking up early to go deal with this shit. Then having to suffer through the mind numbing and nasal assaulting bus ride every day. On Thursday night, with a combination of fatigue, the skull blasting headache, stress over my dissertation (supervisor has yet to give me feedback and time's a-going), the frickin' bitter and nasty weather, and then getting to the part of my book where the female lead gets killed (lol...the agony), I got home, had some bran flakes and yogurt for dinner, crawled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

Today was not as awful as the rest of the week has been, in terms of how I felt. The sun was out, the phone calls were less annoying, I was reading a new book, the lunch was better (lol), still no disso feedback but that's another story, a 20 year old undergrad was hitting on me, despite my grouchiness, inevitably making me laugh, and I got a bottle of White Zin on my way home, had some hummus and let go of the last few days. I am exhausted, a bit frazzled but such is life. And I am getting paid. Well, not yet, but eventually. And, the weekend is here. I get to see a friend, and be a slouch for a couple days. I need it I think.

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The Great Mother/Non-Mother Divide...and Pyjamas

So someone took offence to this post.  That's fine but I have a few things to say here, because it irks me...irritates me to quote said reader.

I am not a mother. My mother is eager for some more grandkids, but I have other priorities in my life right now. Some of my best friends are parents and I think it is a wonderful thing. Truly beautiful. But...being a mother does not somehow make you better than me. If you are like this, then you are to quote the reader's description of me, superior, snotty and judgemental. I posted this entry because of women like this, who think that populating one's uterus is the key to all understanding. One day, God willing, I will be a mother and I hope to not be like this.

I do not appreciate women like this, who think that their problems are better or worse than a woman with no children. I make no apologies for loving fashion and fabulousity, for wanting to travel and enjoy all that life has to offer. Am I rich? No. Am I spoilt? Hardly. But just as some women love craft, cooking, writing etc, I also have my interests.

My parents, who did not have all the opportunities in the world that my brother and I had, worked hard and raised us so that we would be able to access all these things. My father especially wanted me to be able to access these things without falling into the dependency trap. I had the gift of having the main man ...MAN...in my life tell me that he wanted me to have access to education so I would never have to depend on a man for anything.

I went without a lot to get a lot - I am paying for my Masters degree - tuition of over 11,000quid - out of pocket. Add living expenses, in a very expensive city, and it's a big chunk of my savings - savings I accumulated over the years not from being spoilt or born with some kinda golden spoon, but from doing without. I did without a lot of things. I love fashion, yes, but I don't own a single item of clothing that has an expensive label on it. I buy shoes at Payless, and guess what? I am still frickin' awesome! If you don't think you're awesome enough to pull on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt to go out in public, more power to you.

I live a poor student's life at the moment, in a country that is not mine, away from everything I know and love. I joke about these things because being a bitch about it will get me nowhere and I chose this, just as I am sure you chose to be a mum.

I joke about not being able to afford cheese or buying eggs or sausages on offer. It's hilarious to me how long it takes me to decide whether I will splurge on frickin' sausages. I joke about the 3-4 days I sometimes go, without sleep, so I can finish assignments and do well. I joke about sitting in my room during the day in winter without the heater on because I am mindful that I am living in my cousin's house rent-free and heating is expensive. I joke and gripe about the weather in the UK, where I have been sick and in bed more times than I have been in the rest of my life combined. I have medical issues I don't mention cause that is not really anyone's business. I have commitments and frustrations like anyone else. Before I left my job, my days started at 3.30 every morning and ended at 10, 11 at night. I did this EVERY DAY!!! To get to work on time, to face the music for 8, sometimes 12, sometimes 14 hours.

So don't think because I don't have sick kids or shitty diapers to wash, that my life is perfect and moving along swimmingly. As Trinis would say, yuh farse and bright! I get depressed sometimes but only sometimes because guess what - someone else has it worse than I do. Much worse. I have great friends, great, amazing family and a damn good life. Should I apologise for this?

And because you have a child, like the millions of other women on the planet, somehow you are better than me or your issues more important than mine? I don't think so.

Let me just add something else here - my mother had 2 kids. My parents were both public servants in Trinidad, which means we were not rich. My brother and I got sick like other kids. We had things we wanted and needed like other kids. They had to find money to get these things. And yet, my mother was and is the most beautiful woman I know. She had a very demanding full time job, 2 kids, a house to run, a husband to look after (you know these husbands are the other child in the brood), always had dinner on the table even after a hard day at work, and yet, she was always beautiful. Sometimes she would have to do without so we would have but she was always sharp, well put together and a queen. I never saw my mother leave the house looking less than she was. So lady with a problem, if I think leaving the house without having a shower, walking through the supermarket at 5.30 in the afternoon in your bathrobe is annoying, it is because I saw even with all her frustrations, my mother always looking like class. She could not always go to the hairdresser - I soon learnt the art of applying relaxer to her hair. She could not always buy a new outfit. But she was always taking a moment for herself and keeping herself looking presentable.

My friend who has kids, posted this in response to my question regarding your opinion:

when the babies come, time gets ridulously short. those leisurely hours at the hairdresser, getting mani/pedis simply no longer exist. you get so wrapped up in your role it is easy to let it slip because nothing matters more to you than the... baby at that time. BUT that is all the more reason why you need to take time out and take care of yourself. Its an easy trap to fall in but you have to make yourself a priority too.

I agree that it is too easy a trap to fall into and too easy an excuse to use all the time. My girlfriends have kids. None were privileged, some of them are single mothers and still, they manage to show that being a mother - single or otherwise - does not preclude you from being fabulous. And being fabulous does not mean expensive clothes, heels or makeup. Please read my posts properly before making comments. I go out in jeans and baby tees most of the time but I still think I am the cat's meow. All women, mothers or not, need to make time for themselves.

I am not saying there are not times when mothers will jump out of bed to run out the door, to do whatever - but to use that as an excuse for all eternity is a cop out. If you describe your life as a mess, then maybe it will be a mess. That's the trap my friend is talking about and you have clearly fallen in it. There are so many other mommy bloggers out there, and I am sure they will also agree with you, and don't get me wrong, I know it is the truth. But don't use that as an excuse to get away from having some love for yourself either. Me time, for anybody, is vital. So if I don't agree with you that life is a mess, I am sorry. I prefer to aim higher, despite its challenges.

I imagine motherhood is both rewarding and challenging. So is the rest of life and we non-mums live it as well. Just remember that.

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Past, Present and Future

The best part of any job would definitely be the people. I have been blessed to have made some really great friends during my career. My girlfriends from my last job took me out to lunch yesterday at one of my favourite restaurants, Chaud, and I highly recommend the oxtail cannelloni, friends. I mean, two of my favourite things in one meal - oxtail and pasta. Who would have thought? (the image there is not my actual lunch. taking a photo of it would have just been ghetto! It actually looked much better than this)

But the mascara drama really got going back at the office where my present colleagues attempted to surprise me with a farewell shindig. I had gotten a meeting request earlier in the day that gave it away for though it purported to be a  meeting about Wednesday's budget presentation and its implications for our business, I was like I'm leaving so why would I be invited to this? Easy giveaway. But that did not stop it from being extremely sentimental. They really are, and this is no BS, a great bunch of people and they made my time there memorable. Each job has its crap moments and some days you go Why am I working here? But even if you leave you always miss the people. I will miss the people very much.

But I will be stylin'. At lunch we were talking about how you never let anyone know you're down. Your outer projection, even if your finances are in the toilet, your man has left you, or you have serious issues, should be one of utter confidence, poise and fabulousity. So though I will be unemployed and counting pences religiously, I will be ferosh! Thanks to my colleagues for my fabulous school bag.

Today I get to spend all day with my cute as a button nephew. Pity he is too small and too adorable to be put to work cause I will also be packing and making dhalpuri. I am tired, have neck and shoulder pains and a bit cranky but ever so blessed as always. Eid Mubarak everyone.

p.s. Oh, forgot about the Future part of the entry. So on the networking site for the Sep 2010 intake of students, I have already gotten a stalker. A Nigerian stalker. You know how I feel about Nigerian men. God has a weird sense of humour. lol.

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Better to be Farse than Slow? No!

There is this woman here and it's almost as though her aim in life is to macco my scenes, i.e. put her nose in my business (for the non-Trinis). I swear, everytime she sees me she has a comment to make about my appearance or something she lays her eye on, once it's on my person. When I was putting on weight, she commented on it. Losing weight, she commented on it. Needed to go to the salon, she commented on it. Needed a manciure, she commented on it. I don't need people commenting on every single thing.

So last night, out of sheer fatigue, I selected today's winning outfit because it did not require ironing. The thing about this particular outfit is that 2 months ago, it could not fit me. AT ALL. So I was taking a huge gamble that I could forfeit the 2 mins it would take to iron something I knew for sure would fit me and go to sleep, in the hope that this thing would fit me in the morning when more likely than not, I would be running late and would be sucking my teeth if I had to iron something else. This morning...IT FIT. Beautifully. The comments I got from everyyyyyyyyyyyyybody else were about the outfit and how the colour suits my skin tone, and it was a beautiful combo etc. But not my girl.

Farse: That outfit could not fit you before, right?
Me: (steups) (-no answer)
Farse: It was tight before ent?
Me: (to myself: wtf!!!) to her: Yes, it was a bit close.
Farse: I know that. From the time I you resurrected it I knew it was cause now it can fit you again. I say that as soon as I saw it this morning.

I mean, this woman lining up herself nicely for a cussing eh. I don't know WHY WHY WHY this woman always all over my scene!!! Why is my waistline so important to you and why is my appearance a constant topic of enquiry and dissertation? I cannot understand it. And it's the tone - it's a kinda nagging, farse, "not my business but I wanna know" kinda tone. Like an interrogation. And if she was a slim, young hottie, I could understand, but she ain't.

It's not tiring being that farse!?

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How busy high heeled days derail diets

Yesterday was just one of those high heeled days, when you're sitting suffering in your office, waiting for approvals so you can send stuff out and go home to get some food and a shower. I called my mother ahead of time and asked her to pick up a soup from my fave cafe in the second city, but she did not think my soup was important enough apparently. This left me with very little options when I did manage to leave the office at 7.30pm. Having missed gym sessions on two days straight this week because of work, I was not feeling the BK/KFC/Pizza Hut options. But I knew it was one of these or sure starvation, so decided I would jump in the car and make up my mind when I got there.

This was the final decision. Sorry for the fuzzy photo, but hunger is serious and I was sitting in the carpark hoping noone jacked me, my car, my Berry and most importantly, MY DINNER!!!!

My reasoning for this was simple.

1. If I am going to stuff my body with calories, it might as well be  via Coldstone ice cream
2. If I was going to stuff my body with calories, it might as well be via oil free, non-acne causing Coldstone ice cream
3. If I was going to stuff my body with calories, it might as well be via yummyColdstone ice cream, which for a lactose intolerant person is basically like being bulimic. lol.

So that was dinner. I just wanted to say though that I wish more international franchises like this one, would set up shop in Trinidad. Why? The level of service they expect is reflected in the way the staff interact with customers. It was a refreshing change to be greeted with a smile and kind words. As opposed to when I went to have passport sized photos taken earlier this week and the woman's mouth stretched out from her face to across the street, as though I was begging her to climb Everest barefoot. And note I said Trinidad and not Tobago cause honestly, I don't think anything can help customer service in Tobago, except maybe Jesus.

So kudos to the staff at Coldstone Creamery in Price Plaza, even the nice ice cream assistant (dunno what the right term is) who tried to fatten me up with all kinda mixings and toppings. I had to say no. My diet had been derailed enough with just the ice cream. But it did not stop him from pouring fudge sauce and chocolate chips in my yummy French Vanilla ice cream and yummy waffle cone pieces. Okay, I will stop now. But come hell, high water or overtime, I WILL be at the gym this evening.

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