Single and Fabulous?

Single and Fabulous? Is it possible to be both?
Hell yeah!
This evening, I was watching some simply prehistoric episodes of Sex and The City. This episode, "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?" was not only amusing but I am sure so many single people can relate. Carrie agrees to do a shoot for a cover story, and she has a late night and gets to the studio disheveled and ungroomed, but the photographer promises her she is just taking test shots.

Instead what ends up on the cover is a photo of a weary, frazzled looking, chain smoking train wreck, with the caption - Single and Fabulous??

I am not sure where the conspiracy began or who started it, but single people are not on the brink of destruction. Nor do we need rescuing or curing from this incurable disease known as singledom or spinsterhood as some may like to call it. There are many tired and lame stereotypes of single women especially that single women tend to be:


  • Lonely
  • Bitter
  • Aimless
  • Promiscuous
  • Confused
  • Incomplete


...and the list goes on.

I don't think single women need saving. I think sometimes society and some of the social norms push us into a corner and single women are somehow not supposed to be happy or feel fulfilled because they do not have a husband or a brood of kids. The lives we live, even if fulfilling to us personally, is never enough for the world in which we live. Careers and leisure and other pursuits somehow don't mean much to some. We have been brainwashed into believing that life does not really get going until you're hitched, but if your 30s come along and you're still not married - will you wait forever to start living? And while loneliness affects single women, guess what? Married women and women in relationships also feel lonely, even within the confines of marriage which is supposed to be a union of two souls. Loneliness is not limited to single people - or men or women. It strikes anyone at anytime and in any circumstances.

So why is it hard then for some to think that one can be single and fabulous? Maybe I am biased but I always thought being single was fabulous, having its own perks as does marriage and motherhood. There are pros and cons to every state of life. Husbands come in pretty handy when work life gets tough or you need a foot rub or a cinema buddy. Single women can wake up and jump on a plane and just go - no worries about babysitters, husbands etc.

It works both ways. So I denounce the question mark in the caption. Single and Fabulous?? Of course! Single and Fabulous!

75 comments:

  1. Single and fabulous...spot on description! :)

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  2. Love this post! I completely agree!

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  3. Ok so how about being almost 40 and still single. That defies logic. I do have kids but never married. I am not broke down. I shutter to think If I had married any earlier I would be a bitter lonely chick. Instead I am happy and waiting on God's time. #commenthour

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  4. Although I got married recently, I have lived this for so long. I think we all have struggled with the single versus married thing for too long. Enjoy the single and fabulous! It's not a bad thing. #commenthour

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  5. Are the people saying this stuff even married? It's not always a walk in the park!!

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  6. Visiting from comment hour! This is a great post. I think there are many really great things about being single!

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  7. Of Course! Great post! I got married in my 30's so I know exactly what you mean. #commenthour

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  8. great post. I got married this year, but I'm pretty sure I was fabulous before that. I hate that so many girls feel like less than they are because they are single.

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  9. Such a great post. I was a single mom for 6 years, and found that it's even more intense when you have a kid. Surely you MUST be desperate to find a new husband to rescue you and your child(ren), right?

    Hardly.

    I have found a new man, and I'm so very glad that I did - but NOT because I needed to be rescued. I was quite capable and quite happy being a single mom (certainly much happier than I'd been as a married mom). The new man is just icing on an already fabulous cake!

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  10. I agree with you all the way. I don't like it when talking about money and a mother says "at least you don't have kids". It seems as if no one seems to see we single people have priorities too.

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  11. Totally agree with Martini Mom, even being a single parent is way better than being in the wrong relationship. I'm happy as I am - doesn't mean a lovely man in my life wouldn't be nice too :-)

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  12. Stopping by from SITS to wish you a happy feature day. I love this post, as well as that (and every) episode of SATC. As a fellow expat, I have been known to watch episode, after ancient episode of my fave show. I love how you changed the ? to ! at the end of the post. Being single does not a spinster make!

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  13. My husband is a total stud and DOES come in handy, but I relished my single days. I've never understood people who say that "being with anyone is better than being alone." No it's not. Being with someone who sucks...well, it sucks! Being single gives you a chance to really explore your own hopes and dreams. Take advantage of it because once all that other stuff comes along, you miss the days when you could live life entirely at your own pace.

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  14. Been there, done that but now I am in a different stage. (marriage) My lesson? Enjoy the moment!

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  15. Happy SITS day! This is so true!

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  16. Happy SITS day! Kudos to you for loving life!

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  17. Def an exclamation point. Happy SITS!

    :)

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  18. Fabulous post :)

    Happy SITS Day!

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  19. I learned early on not to listen to the women's magazines and Hollywood's take on what it is to be a woman and how to find happiness, etc. Those clowns know nothing. Or maybe it's a matter of misery loves company? I remember once reading in Cosmo where the then husband and wife psychologists told some young reader who was unhappy with having started her menstrual cycle to take off her used pad and sniff it and chew it and embrace her womanhood. Yeah, right....that should do it. That and the wacko Helen Gurley Brown.
    What I find interesting though is men are now listening to such crap in magazines like GQ, etc. and they are now as insecure as their women counterparts tend to be.

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  20. Oops...what I meant to say was....
    Good for you!
    and
    Congratulations on your day in the SITS sun!!
    Have a most beautiful day
    :-)

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  21. While I am the mother of 4 kids, I totally get it.

    There are times when I envy childless people, at the same time I am very thankful for my life.

    There are good points and bad to everything.

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  22. Happy SITS day! Seems to me that this has changed some over time. Just as it has to be fifty and fabulous:)

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  23. Here from SITS!

    I will have to add myself as a follower, so I can get a "fix" of England. I lived there growing up and miss it terribly.

    Have a jaffa cake for me!

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  24. I agree...every stage in life has its pros and cons. I've enjoyed every stage!

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  25. Happy SITS Day!

    Nope, single women don't need saving. Unless they're drowning. In an ocean or some other large body of water.

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  26. Happy SITS day! Well written post and I absolutely agree.

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  27. You have a great writing style... love this post!

    Visiting from SITS, congrats on your feature! Make it a great day.

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  28. Happy SITS Day! I love this post - I always enjoy meeting kindred spirits. I'm looking forward to reading more!

    -From another single, fabulous woman

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  29. Happy SITS Day! I love this post - I always love meeting kindred spirits. I'm looking forward to reading more!

    -Another single, fabulous woman

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  30. Happy SITS day! What a neat blog you have! I loved my visit here.

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  31. Happy SITS Day!

    All the single ladies I know are doing fun things and just living awesome lives because they're not saddled with mega responsibilities. I envy my single ladies! They're much more fabulous than I am!

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  32. First off, happy SITS day!

    Okay, now. I agree with you, here, and it's actually been something I've contemplated recently. My mom is always trying to tell me about new athletes she's heard of who I attend school with, and I always roll my eyes at her. My best friend, and cousin, is 31, and she doesn't have a boyfriend right now, and my mom kind of looks down on that, but I believe age to be a very different thing today than it was some thirty or hundred years ago.

    It's the traditional people who keep us stuck in the same conventional ruts. So what if you're 40 and unmarried, never been married, might not ever get married? Jane Austen didn't. Queen Elizabeth didn't. And they were kick-ass women! And my cousin is definitely kick-ass and bad-ass. She can take care of herself, and the only kind of man good enough for her would be someone who knew what he wanted, had his crap together, and could take care of himself, too.

    I think a lot of traditional people, including my mom, at least a little bit, think of marriage still in terms of - you need to get married so you can procreate and have a normal life! But who's to say what's normal? and why on God's earth would you want to marry someone so superficially? That's why it drives my mom crazy that I'm so picky about guys, but I have to be. I refuse NOT to be. And I am totally okay with that. I would rather be single and satisfied than married and miserable. Just saying...

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  33. Happy SITS day! You either decide to be fabulous or you don't, what's being single or married got to do with it? :-)

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  34. visiting from commenthour# I am so happy to see how positive you are!! single and workin it girl!

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  35. Oh my GAWD are you spot ON! FABulous post from a fellow single & fabulous woman to all your single & FABULOUS readers who get it! Here are my favorites:

    1) "How are you not married!?" - Like being married is some kind of goal or validation. I know the dude meant it as a compliment, meaning, 'can cook, in shape, relatively intelligent, etc.' - but my reply? "I choose not to be.'

    2) "Maybe you'll meet..." Like when I moved to Italy - women again with their overly romanticised 'Under the Tuscan Sun' images. My reply, "No, I'm going to Italy to study wine and live for ME. After 25 years of marinating in way too much testosterone, a dude is the last thing getting in the way of this adventure!"

    3) The girlfriends squealing, "I'm so happy for you!" when they found out I was dating someone. My reply: "Why? I was perfectly happy before?"

    4) One of my troops to me over weekend duty one 4th of July: "I gave it to John because he's single." My reply: "You know, single people don't have disposable social lives. I happen to know John was going hiking with his family visiting from out of town this weekend. Why don't you ask to see if Bob will take it? His wife works weekends and maybe he'd like a day off when she gets her vacation?"

    Bottom line - some people cannot accept that most of us are no lonlier, unhappier, and our lives have just as much value - if you remember "A Woman's Right to Shoes" episode? That is my all time favorite! It's time we celebrate our life choices as well.

    PS - Thank you for inspiring me to write an entire blog post on your blog, vice the drivel that's been going on over at mine recently. Cheers, ladies!

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  36. First of all, congrats on your SITS day! I hope you have an amazing day and lots of comment love.

    This is a great post. As someone who is married with my little brood of kids (is 2 a brood?), I'm telling you that the social expectations don't stop. I get it all the time - you must be unhappy because you got married early, you must have missed out on so much stuff, I bet you have no fun because you have kids.

    I'm trying to focus on the things that do make us fabulous, single or not.

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  37. Happy SITS day. I remember that Sex and the City episode... I remember seeing that magazine cover on the show and thinking, "OMG" .... I was single at the time.

    Single life.... married life.... it's not the label, but what you put into LIFE that makes the difference :)

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  38. Happy happy SITS day! Great post! I think it is funny how every walk in life will have some who want to make you feel diminished in that walk. You think you will graduate to acceptance but no. You just gain a new group of negative nellies... like people against married women who choose to stay home with children or who work with children or blah blah blah! I love how you stated this! I was 41 when I met & married the love of my life but boy was I persecuted up to that point treated as if I wasn't complete, whole and able to enjoy my life simply because I was *gasp* single!

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  39. Happy SITS day!!

    Single is not a death sentence for sure! I had so much fun as a single lady!

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  40. Thank you very much for this. It was just what I needed to hear. I have been in such a funk lately, and it's one I can't seem to shake. And for shame, since I am always the one to shout the many reasons it's lovely to be single from the rooftops. What you say is so true. I happen to have many married friends (and even some in relationships) who claim they often feel lonely and they long for their single days once again. It's just always the case, isn't it? The grass is always greener as they say.

    I have to print this out and leave it in various locations around my apartment and at work. I need to remember this, especially when I am battling some single woman blues. There is just no reason for it. Thank you, girl.

    And also: HAPPY SITS DAY!!!! Wonderful to see one of my favorites recognized in this way. Enjoy your time in the spotlight! XOXO

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  41. Congratulations on your SITS day! You have a very interesting blog, and I'm off to read more!

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  42. Single can definitely be fabulous! Though slightly less so if you're on a magazine cover looking like that!

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  43. Happy SITS Day. I try to remind my single sister all the time that she has a lot of advantages to being single like you mentioned. She should enjoy it and not think of it as a bad thing.

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  44. Being happy in whatever stage you're in is where it's at. Good for you.

    Congratulations on your SITS day. I hope it's everything you've wished for.

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  45. Happy SITS day!

    I'm neither single nor fabulous. More like long-time married and marvelous. Sometimes. Maybe? (On the marvelous...I am unquestionably married!) :)

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  46. LOL Well it doesn't apply any longer, but I LOVED being single. So single and fabulous and happy was my motto.

    ~Happy SITS day!

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  47. Love it. So true. And the picture of "Carrie" (?) is hilarious.

    Visiting from SITS - hope you have a great day!

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  48. What a great post! I have been married twice and was single for a few years in between and have to agree. There are fabulous sides to both!

    Congratulations on your SITS day...enjoy the spotlight! I just stopped by from SITS to say hi and hope you find time to do the same.

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  49. Happy SITS Day!!!

    Sometimes, I wish I could ditch the drama of having a husband and be single again! But then I would miss him....after a week. LOL

    You are the only person who can create your happiness.

    Enjoy your day!!! xoxoxoxo

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  50. Happy SITS Day!!!! Your blog is lots of fun, and if I ever see you in London (well, you never know, I might show up there someday) I'll be sure and say hi, and then we can get into each others' business! Have fun blogging!

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  51. I LOVED that episode!

    and I ENJOYED being single. OHHHH so much. My entire blog was about living up the single life. Enjoy it while it lasts.

    I am so glad I had my own life before getting married. My own adventures. It makes being married so much better.


    ♥ theMRS.


    Are you & your significant other compatible in bed? We’re not cents {REALLY!}. OR see our recent life in {PICTURES}

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  52. Congrats on your SITS day! I'm married now (and happily) but when I was single at the age of 28 (oh horrors!) people would always assume I was lonely and would attempt to set me up with everyone and anyone. Didn't matter if we had anything in common or not. You're single - that's what you have in common...duh! So I said "Enough! I'm happy as I am. If I meet someone so be it and if I don't that will great as well." If you are single, be proud and be fabulous!!

    www.adriennecarrick.com

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  53. Happy SITS day! Congrats! Cute blog and love the flips!

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  54. This is such an awesome lady-power post, I dig it! Although I am not currently single, during the times that I was "single and lovin' it" it almost felt as though certain parts of society scorned the notion. Keep up the great work, I love your blog.

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  55. Happy SITS Day! I really enjoyed your post for today - it really spoke to me. Especially the part about married women also being lonely too. I have been married to my husband for six years now and we have had so many ups and downs over the years (and more intense stuff lately) that I am lonely and dangling with the decision of praying for marriage to get better or taking the chance of single life again. So scary!!! You have helped me to know that I am not alone in my loneliness now and if I decide to go back into singledom again, I have the ability to make it fabulous.

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  56. Single or married-- we all have our moments of Fabulous or Frazzled!

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  57. Is today your SITS day? Confused but maybe not. Agree with your post though!

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  58. happy sitsday!

    and i remember that episode. it was SO good. :]

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  59. a very happy SITS day to you sweet bella, as I was humming Natasha Beddingfield's "single" I couldn't help but smile....I think each season of our life should be celebrated.

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  60. I love this post!!!! Sharing it with my single friends on FB now. :-)

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  61. That's a hilarious episode. Congrats on your SITS day!

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  62. It's definitely all about being happy in the place you're in. Whether that's single, dating or married - each is a journey, each has its glorious moments, and each has it's challenges.

    Thanks for bringing the light :) Happy SITS day! x

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  63. Way to embrace it! Being married/a mother isn't for everyone, just like being single isn't for everyone! Why can't we all just be happy?

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  64. Happy SITS day! I often wish I was single! Enjoy it!
    Denice

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  65. Happy Belated SITS Day! This resonates with my own experience of not having children--that somehow you can't be fabulous and childless--just the word "child-less" has negative connotations. I love your line, "will you wait forever to start living?"

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  66. Found you at the SITS Girls site and popped in to say hello. I agree that all of life should not hinge on 'if you will marry or not', God has different plans for each of our lives, there can be joy in whatever path we journey. That being said I am married and fabulous:)!

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  67. Great topic, I love being single. Being married was not pleasant. Lonelier than being alone.

    Stopping by from commenthour #2 blog pick http://www.web-designschool.com/web-developer-web-designer-graphic-designer/

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  68. I think it's up to us, individually to add our own exclamation point.

    I know a lot of single girls that sit around pining for future husbands and kids and are basically wasting their lives in the process. Not fabulous.

    But I know others (and I'm trying to be one) that embrace life, that welcome it, and that live the hell out of it. And that is Fabulous!

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  69. Shared this with my single friends on FB. They loved it too. :-)

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