Penis on the Train and other Funny Weekend Moments

Nicki Minaj rocks this orange wig. Hot!
Photo credit: Thirsty Roots
Something is wrong with me. Why was I awake at 8.00am on a Sunday, especially considering that I have not had a full night's sleep in a few days, that I was up at the crack of dawn yesterday to keep my salon appointment, and that I was out late last night? I really do not appreciate you, internal alarm!

So as I mentioned at the end of the last post, my hair seems to be totally f...d. It was just falling out and was completely jacked. It caused some minor to major depression and I just decided my hairdresser in London would have to double as therapist. I was perfectly prepared to go pixie short for the cause, but she told me not to do anything that drastic just yet. So while it looks a bit better, it's still pretty crap. I'm not happy.

Needless to say, I joined the hordes of black women in London yesterday who wear fake hair as I pulled out my awesome wig for a night out. Funny, as I walked through the tube station, a gust of wind caught it and I was praying to all the gods under the moon and sun that this thing did not blow off. lol. I pictured the wig blowing off my head, landing on the tracks just before the train gets there, causing a disruption on the Northern line, thus causing hundreds of London commuters to be plotting to kill me, all because I am a bit vain. Well, I held on to said wig to avert this scenario.

Then I had a good chuckle when I went into Sainsbury's after dinner cause I had a craving for sausages again. You know how I love me some UK sausages. And behold, there were sausage bargains. And 25p bread. A student's wet dream!! The 25p bread caused a bit of a scene in the bread aisle as I, poor, hungry, unemployed student, thought - wow...25p bread. I must have this. On the other hand, employed Londoner, was aghast that I would consider buying bargain bread and made such a big deal about the bread. Really, buddy? But then he makes a big deal about a lot of things beyond my comprehension. Nothing was wrong with the bread except that its expiration date is Aug 2, by which time the bread would be consumed anyway. But noooo...it was a bread argument between me and the Sainsbury's girl, trying to explain that 25p bread was perfectly good bread, and employed Londoner on high horse, who felt I should get 89p bread. lol. Needless to say, the 25p bread is in my fridge and I had 2 rolls for breakfast and they were lovely. I have no problem in buying 89p bread, dammit, but why let a bargain pass me by?

And no Saturday night would be complete without a night cap and some penis. On the train, no less. Look away if you are a prude. Look away now. Faces hidden to protect the innocent.

Hen night, obviously. She and her tool caused quite a stir! lol.

11 comments:

  1. At first I thought THAT was the 25p bread - had to look again. Could explain the fuss too. :P

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  2. OMG! lol. This is so funny.

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  3. I have to say the post title peaked my interest! hahaha. Valerie your comment made me laugh out loud!!

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  4. LOL. If that was 25p bread, I would never go hungry! lol. Hilarious.

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  5. Lol! I DID think that that was the bread at first....

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  6. LOL!!! That was a brilliant post. I hope that your hair gets back to healthy status... I have fairly kinky hair and have found that Morocan - leave in conditioner gives a good drink to keep it from breaking and going frizzy... xo HHL

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  7. Thanks HHL. I will Google that hair conditioner.

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  8. LMAO!!! Glad you were able to keep your wig on, girl, though I'm sorry to hear of your hair issues. Every now and then I go through a spell with mine and it just refuses to behave. She's SUCH A BITCH sometimes.

    This picture is awesome. What is the origin of the phrase "hen night"?

    And there is nothing wrong with getting a good bargain every now and then. I'm sure that in London especially it's a rarity to come across. Hope you enjoyed every last bite :)

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  9. Bargain bread? Yes, please. Right now, with the cost of dairy, I'd like some bargain milk, please.

    I hope you bought extra bread & put some in the freezer!!!

    side note: i planned my own bachelorette party so I wouldn't have to carry penis paraphernalia around!

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  10. I usually get FREE bread at church. It's always a day or two old, but it's perfectly good bread and why spend money I don't have to when it's just sitting right there?

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