This was a one-way conversation a random man on the street was having with my mother, as I ran ahead in my fitted jeans and platforms, to the tax office to see how many people I would need to push out of my way. In case you are confused, it was a compliment, suggesting that I was a fine specimen. lol. Trini men have special ways of saying nice things about women. This was about 5 weeks ago, when I was at home. To say I miss these random Trini man moments would be an understatement. In London, one can be virtually invisible - except to the Africans, of course. They see you in 3D, so much so they channel their inner Diana Ross and reach out and touch, much to my annoyance. Admiration - accpetable. Aggression - not so much.
But I now understand why some of these chicks don't even bother to look decent and why they wear wings on their eyelids and call them eyelashes, or pantyhose with holes, or pantyhose with no pants. Noone cares! It is clear to me now. Random strangers do not compliment you or approach you. Hell, they don't even say good morning. If they manage to pry their eyes away from their iPhones, Blackberries or Androids, they stare at you blankly, rather than in admiration. It is really very odd to me - a Trini woman used to blatant adulation and public "affection" and I admit, I loved the amusement of it all, not so much the flattery. I really miss the daily amusement and ego stroking. Thinking I am great is all well and good, but it can only go so far.
Call me spoilt, but aye...every now and then you need a little reminder that you are ON like boiled corn, especially because I am sure I have not morphed into some unsightly creature in 5 weeks! I mean, I even went on a date the other day, and while I was not expecting the dude to fall at my feet - a little recognition would not have killed him either, especially as I was rockin' a sunny look. I mean, after you take your time to choose a cute outfit, and look fab-u-lous - nada.
I just needed to get that off my chest, as I think about my life. lol.
Girl I loved this post! Although to be honest I am happy not to be harassed so much.
ReplyDeleteMy last trini compliment- girl, yuh look ripe!
Haha
Girl, the Trini men real special and I used to well steups at the daily comments on my way to and from the office but compared to the compliment recession here??? I will take anything, yes. LMAO. lol.
ReplyDelete'Girl, yuh look ripe'. lol. They listen to how these things sound before they say them? lol.
I deading! Aggression is a big thing here. These men don't know how to sweet talk a woman and make her feel nice. Instead they only want to grab up yuh hand...Big no-no. I can't tell you the last time a random man called me "Sweetness" or "Condense Milk" (Sweet and thick.LOL) And that, my dear, is why I married myself a Trini!
ReplyDeleteCondensed milk. lol. Ohh...my Trini people. Love them!
ReplyDeleteToo good Avi!!! so true about the blank stair, I think even the kids here are not taught to smile :)
ReplyDeleteGirl! I definitely feel you! Its not like you're insecure or in need of constant reaffirmation of you hotness, but it feels good to hear a compliment every now and again. An ego-boost maybe? You are totally on point with this one!
ReplyDeleteOn like corn - love that expression
ReplyDeleteVisiting from #commenthour - your post was very interesting to me being American. When I am in Morocco (my husbands home country) I got hassled everyday - guys were ALWAYS chatting me up...I hated it!! I thought it was so awful! I never really thought to look at it from the other point of view!!
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's good to hear a nice compliment from time to time! #commenthour
ReplyDeleteGotta love big city personalities... If you're ever in the US come visit me down South - you won't walk a few blocks without a kind word from someone!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!! I love your writing!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my!! I don't think I'd know what to say to that.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Every girl needs an ego boost now and then !
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I was raised in new england where we are all so uptight, we don't often say good morning. Now that I live in the southern US, it's been a lesson to be more friendly up front. A good lesson.
ReplyDeleteLOL nothing comes close to a Trini man's compliments, especially with that sing-song accent lol Come to Brooklyn you'll get your fill fi di year!! lol
ReplyDeleteTrinidad sounds like my kind of place, lol! Seriously though, wait until you have a kid with you. NO LOVE AT ALL, lmbo! (though, i'm in the US)
ReplyDeleteon like corn. makes me laugh but im lost. guess im too literal LOL
ReplyDeletevery well written. i also love your photo challenge
congrats on being featured #commenthour
Here's a little comment love to make you feel better! (Yes, we remember you were feeling down for this week's #commenthour)
ReplyDeleteTrinidad and London are completely different worlds, to be sure. I think it's safe for you to traverse down nostalgia lane! :)
Your too funny. I have a friend from T&T and she has the same sassy humor! Love it!
ReplyDeleteYour too funny. I have a friend from T&T and she has the same sassy humor! Love it!
ReplyDeleteOh hell, men are normally lying anyway. Sometimes we ladies just need to look ourselves in the mirror (or down at our fabulous shoes), dress up for our lady friends and just KNOW we are fabulous! Or? Or? You could take that 2-hour flight to Florence where sloppy men in the street will be more than happy to "Ciao Belllaaaaaaa" all over you while the dour underhydrated women glare at you as if you've eaten their young or ignore you all together. Sigh ~ see ~ being fabulous is hard work, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteLove your observation! #Commenthour
ReplyDeleteAnd the boiled corn is my new phrase. Thank you. LOL
Following your blog. :-)
Stopping by from comment hour!
ReplyDeletemaybe a little bit off topic but I just heard the Flavourite lolly man outside singing "looook de pallet man passin by yuh house so come an buyyyy" to that Lambada tune that J.Lo. so recently copied. Another Trini man plying his trade in a creative way ;)
ReplyDeleteLove this! I don't know about Trinidad, but I do know that I tend to get complimented and approached more when I'm outside of England, full stop! Whether it's Barbados, Washington DC or New York City... the men are just so much more appreciative than British men. Boooo to the British men mi say!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies all. I am glad I am not alone in my need for some recognition. SingleFilez - a resounding BOO indeed!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right! We don't go through the full morning ritual of hair and makeup and smell goods just to be ignored. Those London boys need to get their act together!
ReplyDeletefunny...in 3d...wigs on their eye lashes...you gave me a laugh
ReplyDeleteLOL. It's a very real phenomenon
Delete