Books Cannot Fill My Belly!

Shopping at Waterstone's
Photo credit: The Guardian

Once upon a time, there was a girl who used to be able to strut into any store and buy anything she wanted. Not because she was rich or anything but because she believed that working hard, 5-6 days a week, for long hours, should have some perks - like vacations, cute shoes and other such treats. Not saying she splurged on expensive and useless things. No. However, working surely did not mean just stashing the money into annuities, pension plans, insurance, car payments, bills, groceries and savings and not treating onself to a nice dinner, a nice vacation or bookstore porn.

Today I walked into Waterstone's and surrounded myself with the fresh smell of new books. There they were - all around me - calling to me. I quickly found 3 books I wanted, which went nicely with the store's 3 for 2 summer special. Ten minutes later, I left the store empty-handed - the beautiful books back on the shelves. Why? I was weighing the pros and cons of buying books that were not school-related, on a student's salary of £zero!!!!

I kept seeing carrots and juice and chicken that could be bought with the £20 the books would have cost me. Or the multiple printed drafts of this dissertation, once it gets off the ground. Travel card renewal which always sets me back about £135. But for £20 I could buy not just books, but sanity.

All those lovely books at Waterstones
Photo credit: The Guardian

I then came home and started idly searching for books online, where they were significantly cheaper (cue harps), but still, my neurotic sense of financial responsibility made what should have been a routine purchase, a 3 hour nightmare, because now I was weighing the cost of the book against the literary value of the book and whether I should get two books or one, and whether the books were worth my hard-saved pounds sterling. I mean, really...can £3.99 buy you a Nobel Prize winning novel? I doubt it. Yet, here I am -bookless, cause I am worried that the £3.99 book may be shit.

I used to complain about my job - the long hours, the commute, the silly people in and out of the office - but it gave the opportunity to buy silly stuff, without all this number crunching. I could buy a silly book and not worry about it being silly.

I am a bit frustrated with the dissertation, and it has been a weird couple of weeks and thus, I am having an "I am ungrateful and greedy" day but seriously...I am allowed to sometimes.