When Every Day Feels Like Friday the 13th

Dog tired.

I try not to blog when I feel the way I have been feeling over the past week. It's just like a Debbie Downer. The week basically sucked. I'm not sure why...there was nothing in particular. No unmistakable crisis. I guess it was just a bit of everything. Amusingly enough, spending an entire week working with the youth of this nation really would depress anyone. lol.


So I had a bit of a PT job this week, working on campus - no biggie, just some cash inflow to stem the increasingly traumatic outflow. So, basically it was helping out with clearing. Clearing...a new thing for the non-British me. 

Clearing is a service available between July and September, but for most people it is used after the exam results are published in August. It can help people without a university or college place to find suitable vacancies on higher education courses. If you are flexible and you have reasonable exam results, there is still a good chance you will find another course through Clearing. - UCAS

This has to be one of the most depressing yet at the same time, entertaining jobs ever. First, I was forced to spend an entire week with undergrads - and not just undergrads, but annoying, mostly childish undergrads. Sweet Lord. My eyes rolled in their sockets too many times this week. I mean, I am on the phone, on a call, and this nimrod across from me is playing drums on the desk we share, while I am trying to listen to the poor woman on the line. I had to put her on hold 3 times to ask him to stop, and he looks at me like I am crazy, laughs and continues doing it. And then they wonder why noone will hire them when they graduate!

Then you have the actual clearing, and dealing with that. On the one hand, you have to be the one to tell kids that their grades suck so bad that there is nothing they can get into. You have to listen to their little sobs and their angst over being left behind while all their friends go off to university. Then there were the ones who declined offers at other schools, so they could go through clearing, hoping they could get in to a better course, and then there is no space, leaving them with no offers, no school and a good box about the ears from mum because next year they are going to have to face the tuition increases. When I applied for my degrees, there was nothing traumatic about it. I had choice. I'm a nerd. Getting the student loan was a chore, but I did not have these issues and my heart hurt for some of these kids. Honestly.

Wine needed!!

On the OTHER hand...there were also the ge(r)ms representing the future of England. Kids who had really crap grades and wanted to get on to LLB courses and other courses requiring upwards of 300 points. But it's not even the blind ambition. It was the attitude. No crying and pleading but just damn rude and bright! Example: 

Girl: Yeah...so what can I get for like 80 points? [NB. 80 points can't get you sh...]
Me: (still trying to be helpful, cause it was clearly early on in the process) Not sure if there is anything available but let me check. (check when I know there is nothing). I am so sorry, but we do not have anything available at the moment.

Girl: Wha? Check again.

Me: (annoyed, cause she was not crying or hurting, she was being a twat) I'm sorry. There is nothing available.
Girl: Yeah, you just hang on, yeah. Lemme talk to me mum. (puts me on hold, but I can hear the little witch, saying, "That bitch says there ain't nothin'. And I know she's black...that black bitch.". Then the mother chimes in, "she ain't probably wanna help you")

Me: I can still hear you.

Girl: Oh...ummm...so there's nothing? Can you try again? (suddenly pleasant and conciliatory)

Me: Sorry. Best of luck.

Crying purges the soul they say

She lucky I eh cuss way her ass!

Yes. It was a STELLAR week! Waking up early to go deal with this shit. Then having to suffer through the mind numbing and nasal assaulting bus ride every day. On Thursday night, with a combination of fatigue, the skull blasting headache, stress over my dissertation (supervisor has yet to give me feedback and time's a-going), the frickin' bitter and nasty weather, and then getting to the part of my book where the female lead gets killed (lol...the agony), I got home, had some bran flakes and yogurt for dinner, crawled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

Today was not as awful as the rest of the week has been, in terms of how I felt. The sun was out, the phone calls were less annoying, I was reading a new book, the lunch was better (lol), still no disso feedback but that's another story, a 20 year old undergrad was hitting on me, despite my grouchiness, inevitably making me laugh, and I got a bottle of White Zin on my way home, had some hummus and let go of the last few days. I am exhausted, a bit frazzled but such is life. And I am getting paid. Well, not yet, but eventually. And, the weekend is here. I get to see a friend, and be a slouch for a couple days. I need it I think.