Nude Beach Memories

Orient Beach, St Martin
Photo credit: AOL Travel

Yesterday I found the list of the best nude beaches in the Caribbean and the first one that came up was Orient Beach in St Martin - a beach I am very familiar with. I spent a week or so in beautiful St Maarten/St Martin. Great shopping on the Dutch side, and great single girl adventures on the French side. Gotta love the French! My trip to St Martin was da bomb - French people, French guys, and that nude beach.

My girlfriend and I had made it a girls' trip and I had researched all the stuff I wanted to do, including parasailing and visiting this nude beach. You only live once! The parasailing was awesome and I met a cute French fella, who asked me to go out with him later that evening. Needless to say, that did not end well as my cute French vacation hottie was a hot mess at the party, totally stoned on marijuana and trying to get me to follow him and his 3 dreadlocked friends into some van in the carpark. Yeah, buddy. I must have had the "Idiot Here" sign on my forehead. You clearly were too high if you thought that was going to happen.

Chilling out in the nude
Photo credit: Wikinut

The other highlight of the day was this nude beach, or more accurately, clothing optional beach. I had never been on a nude beach before and though I had mentally (and physically) prepared myself for this phenomenon, I still was nowhere ready for what awaited me.

Why is it that all the so-called beautiful people don't go to these places and somehow it's all the Golden Girls and their equally wrinkled husbands. To say this was an enlightening experience would be an understatement. You don't see many nude scenes in movies featuring your grandmum, do you, cause that was kinda what it was like.

I went to the bar (clothed, mind you) to get two mojitos and there was a guy - maybe in his early 60s, sitting in the buff on the stool, with his stuff hanging out. And the stuff was not great looking either. Kinda looked like those sausages in yesterday's post. He then proceeds to seriously chat me up. Really buddy? I am like a million years younger than you and you're sitting with your 60-something year old stuff laying limp on the  stool. It also reminded me not to sit on any of the other stools while waiting for my order especially as every single person at the bar was naked and sweaty. (blech)

The women - saggy, wrinkly boobs everywhere, and equally saggy, wrinkly derrieres. But guess what? I salute their confidence and their "I don't give a hoot who does not like it" attitude. I really think it was pretty darn awesome. Not for my eyes, but awesome nonetheless. Being comfortable with your body, no matter what it looks like, is a truly remarkable thing. So many people starve themselves, go through periods of self loathing and yet others throw off their speedos and bikini tops and just go for gold. That's hot. Again, not always for my eyes, but it's great that they don't feel restricted.

But I would still definitely recommend a nude beach to anyone. It is great fun. You have to do it, if even once! Did I go nude? Not completely. Being one of maybe 5 black people on the beach made me an attraction as it was. Every time I moved a limb, eyes turned on me. I did not need to completely break the thermometer with my hotness.

Check out the Nude Beach Etiquette Guide. lol.