Beauty, I am, as defined by ME

Naomi Campbell

I have done a weave twice, and braids once. The braids experiment ended disastrously with the hair I had been growing out for months having to be chopped to a mere 2-3 inches. I had asked the hairdresser whether it was supposed to be that tight and she said yes, but that kinda pain could not have been normal. Beauty is pain, my ass. My short hair actually was quite hot and I loved it while it was short (not so much when it got to that transition phase between short and long) and my short hair grew back but I have always had a little bit of a bad patch in the middle of my head that just never grew back to its full length, and I will curse her and her girl children for years to come.

My first weave experience was awesome. I looked hot and I looked different. That was the main reason. I am not one of these black women or black men for that matter who believe that long, straight hair is the epitome of female beauty. But I am one of those women who like a new style every now and then and this was a great way to try a new style without doing anything drastic to my regular do. The second weave experience was not as super as it ended slightly like the braids experience - not as horrendously but when I see chunks of my hair coming out in the comb, I say to myself this will not happen ever again. I then invested in a great wig which on bad "hair from the roots" days, comes out of the bag to complement the hotness that is me.

I saw the photo of Naomi Campbell this morning and the consequences of being a black model in a world where beauty is seen as leggy, skinny, blue eyed and long haired. The effects of trying to live up to such a standard, impossible to (safely) achieve if you were born with dark skin and hips are now evident. The sad thing is, she will probably just buy a wig to cover it up. Her money is made on an image and she will most likely stick to living up to that image until death. It must be quite a burden to pretend to be someone else all the time. And it's not a self inflicted pressure either. I have met black men who will argue to the death that a black woman should not cut her hair and should aim to have long hair, even if it means wearing a weave and putting both your natural hair and your wallet under pressure, because if you want that weave to look like Naomi's, you have to make a financial investment that could probably buy 2 months worth of groceries. And of course every time you pick up a magazine, or turn on the tv, there is some woman, black or white, rockin' the long hair, real or otherwise and sending the average woman running to the hair store to buy packs of hair shaved off Indian women's heads for money. I'm glad that my money does not depend on my looks or I may be a hot emotional mess, albeit a hot hot emotional mess (not to mention a hungry, baldhead mess...lol). I am glad that 99% of the time, I think I am gorgeous, even with my non-European hips, thighs, eyes, hair and mouth, with or without additions and fake embellishments (though I will never part ways with my mascara! NEVER!!!)

The dilemma and the phenomenon that is hair! Who knew?