Yesterday, some of the girls at work and I were talking about women and the men they stay with. Some had real life personal experiences, which really brought home that even the most self-assured (looking) woman can have deep insecurities and issues which keep them from breaking free from destructive and abusive relationships - be it physical, mental or emotional abuse.
And there are some women who as they get older, and they see their lives disappearing before their eyes - no home, ho husband, no kids etc - who choose to lower their standards notch by notch in an attempt to stave off what society sees as failure - aka being manless, childless, loveless. I have been accused of being picky and yes, I am picky. Not overly picky, but I have certain standards which I will not compromise, especially based on the experiences of some of the women in my life and on my own experiences. How low must your standards really go? How much are you realistically willing to compromise just to have a man in your bed at night? These are questions which women should ask themselves before they jump into the great unknown with a man that deep down they know may not be the best fit for them. And this has absolutely nothing to do with things like job, or money, but how best you relate to him as a partner in life and love. Because guess what - the whole knight in shining armor thing is crap. It may not always be the knight. It might be the dude taking off the knight's armor. The knight may be like Jake from the Bachelor - socially acceptable, nice looking, a pilot, great smile but an ass. But will you settle because he is all that and your friends think you're so lucky to have him?
It's not that big a conundrum. It's about compromise, choice and contentment. At the end of the day, if you are happy with the compromises and choices that you have made in your relationship, and I mean, happy and not settling because you feel desperation, then great! If you're just doing it to please the world, then get on the couch and cry me a river.
A timely piece. My experiences thus far have revealed that I have indeed settled for trash! But it will be dumped sooooonnnn!
ReplyDeleteIt is a lifelong dilemma, tv, movies and books always said to me there was a 'right' for everyone. I always interpreted that to mean it would a be a happy easy life together. But maybe the 'right' one is there to help you grow into a better person. If you're cocooned in happyville it means you're not really pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. But of course we want what we want, not always what someone is willing to give.
ReplyDeleteI suppose a relationship needs to feel healthy and you are being celebrated, but challenging enough that it makes you examine how you interact and who you are.