Bringing Sexy Back

Yesterday, after nearly 2 weeks of neglect (blame work), I made it to the gym. My membership was due on July 4, but seeing that I will be on vacation for a month, clearly it made no sense to pay the subscription. So I went yesterday, a bit tired but determined to burn off the ice cream I had yesterday, and armed with my $30 for the session fee. You can thus imagine my vexation when the young lady told me the fee was now $40 a session and I protested that they had to be crazy. lol. In any event, I had driven all that way, and had not worked out in so long that I paid the bandit price and changed into my gym wear for a sweat.

But let me tell you - my gym is a funny place. I have already mentioned the hottie hottie girls who parade throughout the gym trying to pick up men. Well, don't believe this is a single sex phenomenon. As I pounded away on the elliptical for an hour of much needed cardio, I saw some antics from the male patrons that made me smile to myself. One dude, who is shaped very strangely - very little head, big upper body, though not ripped, just big, and a hybrid of muscle and fat, and a rather narrow skinny bottom - got on the treadmill in his muscle vest and I dunno - he seemed to be trying to keep up with the obvious athlete next to him, but kept faltering, pretending he was slowing down to stretch. Stupid. Then the other dude who paraded in front of us twice and then before he got on the treadmill, he had to execute a series of stretches or as I call them, antics. I mean, really?? And then he got on the treadmill and there were more antics as he kept looking to see which of us silly women was looking at him. Well, buddy, I was and I was laughing at you. Stupid.

And why do some of these men think they can compete with me on the elliptical? Do I have a sign that says "Race me"? Just get on, do what you can do, at your pace and get off. I don't want to be responsible for the death of some totally unfit homosapien. Like the old white dude who gets on next to me and keeps looking over to see what level I am on, how many strides a minute etc. It's really annoying. You don't see me trying to lift 200lbs of weights to keep up with you. I am quite good with my 50lbs, thanks. lol. Not trying to look like a man.

Then there were the 2 old biddies next to me, who were very impressive. I was impressed that they could stay on the elliptical for an hour and talk for the entire hour. Even with my music on, I could hear them cackling about the cruises and trips they had taken, and their kids and grandkids. Impressive.

But I am not complaining. Staying on an elliptical for an hour can get be tedious so the entertainment is appreciated. Still I need to explore some options because the gym is consistently over capacity and I don't like it. I cannot imagine what in there looks like coming up to Carnival. Nah. Need a Plan B to keep these hips in check.