|My awesome corn pie|
So after hours of slaving over a hot laptop on Saturday morning, trying to sort out my meal plan for the week, I came up with
- spinach rice
- stir fried veggies, mostly peppers, cause I felt like stir frying sweet peppers
- corn pie
- bbq chicken
- spinach and olive loaf, with the rest of the spinach
- doubles...just to try it
So I went to my neighbourhood Hi-Lo (supermarket) and spent the better part of 45 minutes debating whether I should get local spinach or bhagi, or the foreign spinach. The local spinach is way cheaper ($8.00 vs $20) but they just plopped a bunch of it in a bag...for who to clean?? Naaaaaaaaaaah. I was not cleaning that! I am lazy...bite me. I looked at that bag of bhagi and decided I was not going to do it. I decided I was not going to do the expensive bag of spinach either so with my cheap "occupy Hi-Lo" ass, I got some chopped spinach in a can. lol. Got some corn - both creamed and whole - some crackers, some yogurt, some trail mix, and some other random goodies.
Get to the cashier, unpack my basket, swipe the cardy card, hand over my eco-friendly, re-usable shopping bag to the bag packer guy. He had a packer buddy and they were both yapping away and taking their time to pack my bag - like I had nowhere else to be. Finally, after what felt like eons, they were done and I grabbed my bag with my stocks and went home to get my cook on.
Get home, and put my rice on with some caramelised onion and garlic, and with a bit of chicken stock and go into my bag to get my "make do" can of spinach. Wait. Where is my spinach?? I checked the bag about 5 times and there was no green tin. Went to the car to see if it had rolled out of the bag onto the floor. Nada. Come back inside and check the bag one more time before letting out a slew of expletives. Then realised, wait...where is my corn? Where is my trail mix? My seasoning? My yogurt? WTF!!
Livid!!! Pick up the cell-u-lar. Ring ring.
Hi-Lo, how can I help?
Yes, (give them the story)
(without warning some bright young man comes on) Yeah?
Who is this?
(LIVID) - (repeat story)
Well, yuh will hadda come back. Bring your bill and ask for the supervisor.
(LIVID...rice is on the stove, spinach-less; hurricane rain and winds outside...who was going all the way back to the mall for some spinach??)
I hung up.VEX.
Pulled on a hoodie and some jeans and contemplated this turn of events as my sad, spinach lacking rice sat on the stove and my casserole dish lay hollow and empty, and my rainy Saturday plans for cooking my lunch for the week, were near death. Slammed the door and stormed out in the rain like a hater - doh need umbrella cause I so vex. Jumped in the car, and with a squeal of brakes, drove to the closest grocery - having to drive through rain and traffic and having to deal with dotish people, and then having to pay $5 to park my car for 5 minutes! Of course my little country grocery had no Del Monte Chopped Spinach in a can, but they did have corn.
Anyway, got back home, calmed myself, and finished my spinach-less rice with a tomato and some bodi (google it), and made my casserole, which despite of everything was perfect.
Fast forward to today...this is where the ting gets exciting.
Drive to the so and so Hi-Lo after work. Made sure I was looking real corporate bitchy. Face set up like a beast. Get there with my bill and the little blue pen ticks next to all the items that somehow never made it to my bag. The supervisor lady checks her book and then finds nothing better to do than tell me
"These items not in the book"
Silence ...as I waited for grace, patience and reason to wash over me, cause my blood pressure was already rising. Sensing danger, she called another lady, who then goes with my bill to find Mr Singh (not his real name). Where did she go? Wait for it.
To check the CCTV footage from Saturday!!!
Allyuh serious?? This woman and her Mr Singh sat in this little back room for the next 15 minutes looking at footage to prove that I really did not get my $9 tin of spinach!! I could hardly believe it. Me - dressed to death, looking executive swanky with my $450 handbag, would REALLY come into Hi-Lo and rip them off of a $9 tin of spinach?? Not even some steak or wine - but SPINACH??
After one 15 minute phone call to a friend describing this comedy show, Miss Lady reappears and asks...wait for it...
"Miss, what were you wearing on Saturday?"
My response, out loud cause I could not hold it back any longer: "Lady...you serious??"
"Yes, we not seeing it. The tapes doh be clear and we doh see good."
Soooo...you had me waiting there for 15 minutes when you knew all along, the tapes were useless? Woooo...this was exciting!! It's a good thing I was looking like a professional woman cause I was just about to go ghetto inside there, yes. I mean, can you imagine the scenario if I had gone on Saturday in my hoodie, ripped jeans and flip flops? They might have called police for me!!
By this time, the thing was getting ridiculous but she, happily for her and Mr Singh, was a real gem and she said "Just go get your items and I will bag it for you."
I am beyond words right now. I will never ever take my eyes off the bag boys again...in life. Never.