The Extraordinary Challenges of Weight Loss of a Trini Superstar

I am currently fat-busting around the neighbourhood. I grumpily roll off the bed at 5.30am and go bust a move in my fat busting gear for an hour. While I lose myself in my own little iPod/fat busting universe, there are a few downsides to free exercise, i.e. exercise outside the confines of a gym (this is not to say the gym is paradise either. Remember this?)

1. The dogs - pitbulls, pot hounds and wannabes.
People in Trinidad don't understand the concept of keeping a dog chained or in a kennel especially if they live in unfenced, ungated homes. Thus the intrepid fitness maven has to brave the scowls and growls from four legged fiends every morning. While some people take to walking with a mop handle or other such weapon to beat off the fierce beasts, I would like to think of myself as a bit of a dog whisperer. lol. I just give them the eye, ooze ferocity and they back off. I have not met my canine match just yet (knock wood).

2. The carbon monoxide.
This is a real killer. Though 5.30 may seem early, many people leave for work at that time. I mean, I used to be out the door at 4.45am - no later. This productivity is however, not good for the wily road wanderer, running up and down hills, lungs already bursting and gasping for breath. To be on the brink of asphyxiation and all there is to breathe in is gasoline and diesel fumes - not cool. While there is a park nearby, it is not suited for running under any circumstances. Huge holes under thick grass, and not to mention the mud when it rains...and it's pretty isolated so any attacks by rapists or muggers will certainly go unnoticed at that hour of the morning. I could go in the afternoon but then you risk being hit by a flying football when the guys come out for a sweat, and of course, who's running in the Trini afternoon heat?? So the road warrior marches on.

3. The road predators aka bumsee stalkers.
For the non-Trinis, "bumsee" is Trini slang for ass. I have a nice ass, and I am generally curvylicious and I am happy so many men appreciate this, but it is a real pain to be trying to get your sweat on and the men hone in on you like a heat-seeking missile long before you even get close to them. These are the men who are not awake getting their sweat on, but those waiting for their shuttles or carpools to work at the side of the road. So they have no appreciation of the agony your glutes are feeling as you are pelting up that hill. They are not thinking about their own 6-packs or pectorals. They are just idly waiting for their day to start and suddenly, your "Get Me Bodied" self approaches and they now have something to keep them occupied for 30 seconds. That's when you get "morning princess...the form looking real real good" or "babes, you want a workout partner?" or "I wish I was dem pants, girl". It is super annoying and I adjust my headphones so they know I am not paying attention but you can almost feel the words vibrating off your body, not to mention the eyes as you walk past. Special mention to the male drivers who honk their horns in the most aggravating fashion.

Still, when I get home, all sweaty and tired, have a nice long shower, whip up a protein shake, and relax, there is no better feeling so these are small prices to pay in the long run, I guess. However, I am glad my new office has a gym which I am sure to be patronising once I am all settled.

5 comments:

  1. Oh, loooorrrd! Sounds like Jamaican men! :P Must be a Caribbean thing.

    Good for you for getting serious about exercise.

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  2. Totally agree about the dogs! Then there is the dark...and the rain...no ogling men in my great outdoors. No ogling men at my gym either...at least, none within two decades of my age. Maybe I should move. LOL

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  3. ahahahaha you make me laugh and miss home so much! I have an aversion to exercise but as you well know the bumsee stalkers are ubiquitous in Trinidad!

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  4. I'm lucky that nobody messes with runners in this neighbourhood. Luckily there are a number of cops and even military guys living here.

    Although I used to think twice about running by myself during Bike Week.

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  5. That's crazy about the dogs! I mean, I myself am a dog lover, but I don't know that I'd want to encounter a potential angry dog first thing in the morning on my run either.

    *sigh* Men. They just can't help themselves, can they?

    But you rock on with your toned self! ;)

    ReplyDelete

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