Say Yes to the Dress. I said No!

I went to the mall on a mission - to find a simple evening dress for this party I have to go to next week. I do not want to go to the party for a few reasons - I am tired and predict I will be tired next week too, I don't feel as hot as I should feel for glamming up, etc etc

But I went to the mall with an open mind. I came home with a all-in-one bag crammed with bundles - groceries, cute camisoles, a nice cardigan, but no dress.

I am really aghast at what was on offer.

1. The usual - sequins and shiny shit. I think sequins should be banned! Okay, that might be a bit harsh cause when done right, sequins can be quite stunning. When. Done. Right. What I saw was atrocious. Dresses with what looked like gold spray paint and what looked like they went buck wild with the glue gun and the sequins. I sucked my teeth in annoyance.

2. Jersey. The sales girl pointed me to the "evening dress" section of the store and they had a lot of jersey dresses. God. Jersey is not glam. Jersey is "head to the supermarket/head to the movies/have lunch with the girls". It's not evening! God help me. Accessorised nicely on the mannequin, one dress looked halfway presentable but the mannequin also does not have lumps and bumps like normal women. Jersey is not it!

3. I tried 3 dresses and then noticed that 2 other women tried 2 of the 3 dresses I was trying. They had them in various sizes and in gross quantities. Not cute! Did not know them but I just thought, oh my God...what if they are going to the same party? Reminded me of a story about a VP who was too cheap to buy a really nice dress and bought one of these dime-a-dozen getups for the staff party, only to see the kitchen assistant in the exact same dress. I have never bought a dress locally for this exact reason. I have always had my dresses custom made or I have bought them on my travels. The thought of being a twin at this party was not appealling to me.

I did not buy a dress. I jumped in a taxi and came home. I was not willing to shell out the money for one either especially as I am in the throes of buying a car. I will recycle something in storage. I washed one last week (it smelled musty from being in storage for over 2 years!!) and I am praying to God that this thing still fits me. Add this to the fact that I am going alone to this thing, with people I do not know, I'm just not excited. Can't wait for it to be over.


  1. Girl, every year I had that problem. I'm usually a size 3 or 4 but I'm only five feet tall. The couture dresses are right up my alley but they're too long!
    I almost cuffed down a sales girl once for suggesting I cut the dress I wanted. Crazy heifer expected me to dole out hundreds of dollars for a work of art then cut seven inches off it? Pressure!

  2. HATE dress shopping.....oh and you were right - sequins should be banned....

  3. I HATE sequins, too! They're so gaudy!

  4. Ugh, I hate parties like that... especially when you REALLY don't want to be there. I'm keeping fingers crossed this dress still fits and looks beautiful for the party. I'm sure you'll look smokin' whatever you do decide on!

    I haven't been dress shopping in ages but if I have to ask if it's a dress or an oversized shirt, I think there's a problem. And I've found myself doing that a lot lately.

  5. There are far too many hideous dresses in the world.

  6. I agree that the pictured dress is hideous. Also, do you really have to go to the party? If your heart is not in it and you're dreading it, don't go! Am I being the little devil on your shoulder? LOL!


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