The Selfie Stick - The Darkest Point in Humanity

The selfie stick at work. Steups.
Photo credit: The Telegraph

Let's just get right down to it. The selfie stick. It is possibly one of the most polarising contraptions out there right now. You either love it, or hate it. So what is it?

I love Urban Dictionary!

Selfie Stick 
- An extendable stick you can put your phone on so you can take a selfie from farther away.
- An elongated rod, usually made out of plastic or steel, with a camera on one end and a dense moron on the other

Others have also referred to the selfie stick as the Staff of Narcissus and my favourite was British journalist, Grace Dent who described them as "one of the darkest points in humanity".

Yet to some, the selfie stick is a moment in history - a greater discovery than the coffee bean, electricity or air-conditioning. Yep. Being able to enhance one's selfies for Facebook, Twitter and Instagram is the reason they sleep better at night.

I did some more research into this phenomenon and there are three basic kinds of Narcissistick...sorry...selfie stick.

• The sticks that are Bluetooth-enabled, which pair with your iPhone or Android phone and let you press a button on the handle to take a photo. 
• The sticks that plug into your smartphone’s headphone jack, which also let you take a photo with the press of a button on the handle. 
• Sticks that come without any remote triggering function; some of these are sold as a package deal with a keychain-sized Bluetooth remote. (source: QZ.com)

Now I love me a selfie and if one morning I think I look extra cute, better believe I am taking a freakin' selfie. Not on my soapbox when it comes to selfies - selfies can be great. But, what is this selfie stick business? I have a problem with this - people walking around with a stick to take selfies? C'mon man.

Now from a travelling perspective, and as a solo traveller, I completely understand how challenging it can be to document some of your moments on a life-changing global discovery. You stand in front of that monument you reaaaaaaally want to get a photo of - with you in it - and then do the tourist 'bait and release ' where you size up the other tourists or locals passing by and decide who looks friendly enough, or at the very least, the least surly, so you can ask them to take that photo for you.

Nowadays, with smartphones with flip cameras and so on, the vacation selfie has sometimes replaced the charity photo from fellow tourists. I have still not jumped on the vacation selfie train completely. I still like the old fashioned tourist beg because they are often much better photos, if you are a seasoned campaigner and know how to choose your volunteer photographer, and I still like having 1-minute meet and greets with strangers who may be just like me, or not. That's part of the beauty of travelling, for me.

But I will admit, I am not a lover of the selfie stick. Though I get how it could benefit me as a solo traveller in particular, I feel an overwhelming distaste for it. I am so glad many museums and other such places have seen fit to ban their use. It is already hard battling with overzealous tourists trying to take selfies in front of everything, including that painting you want to take a closer look at. Add a 3-foot stick to the mix, and a few hundred...thousand tourists to that, and it is a nightmare.

This would drive me crazy!

Not to mention, people seem to be whipping out these things any and everywhere. There has to be some risk of physical harm as people walk around with these things threatening to poke you in the eye or in the guts. Not to mention the plain old inconvenience of it.

There was the guy in Rio de Janeiro waiting to go up the Sugarloaf Mountain cable car. His gigantic selfie stick kept getting caught in the vinyl ceiling of the waiting area and then inconvenienced other passengers inside the already-cramped cable car. - TreeHugger.com

But of course it speaks to a deeper malaise -the ever pervasive need to be viewed, to be 'liked', to create this world where everything about us and around us is perfect. Where every single thing is a photo opportunity and a chance to get 100 likes on Instagram and get more likes than the photo taken before or your friend's photo. Where you end up becoming more focused on the photo's potential on your social media than on the actual moment.

I’ll never forget the woman at a spectacular northeastern beach who never took her eyes off her extended cell phone, carefully wading into the warm turquoise ocean while holding her selfie stick at the perfect angle. She posed, smiled, angled her head, posed again. Not once did she put down her stick to actually swim in the water - Treehugger.com

Co-sign!
Photo credit: The Telegraph

If this is your thing though, more power to you. I won't wade up to a woman like this and tell her don't do it. That is her business. I will possibly snicker and roll my eyes and blog about it, but it is her right to look like an idiot.

Where I do have a problem is if that selfie stick is going to challenge ME! - if it is going to block my view of my experience, be totally invasive during my moment, or just simply physically be a nuisance.

So kudos to some of my favourite places like the National Gallery and the Chateau de Versailles for banning the selfie stick to ensure everyone can enjoy the treasures which these venues offer to visitors.

Sadly I am hearing that selfie drones may soon be inflicted upon us. At that point I think I may just retreat into self-imposed exile from the world.

Read more »

Questions and Answers

Question: Have you abandoned your blog?

This was a question posed to me by a loyal reader (one of my 1.5 loyal readers) after clicking on my blog over and over and seeing nothing new since September.

Answer: No, I have not really abandoned it. I like that it is there. I do feel like creativity has abandoned me. I always have the best of intentions and then I open up the blog app, and I am either too tired or too uninspired to fill the white space with words which make sense and which would make anyone want to read them. But I realise that not writing is also not good - it is like stifling that light inside until it is a mere flicker. So I am going to try (yet again) to not give up on the blog for too long.

Question: How come you didn't blog/tweet/Instagram this?

This was a more recent question (someone asked me this yesterday actually). I ran into a friend at a thing my mum and I were at, and later that evening, she messaged me to ask why I had not checked in or taken any photos. Ummm...cause I was just there for the experience. I mean - what did she want to see? She was there!!! lol. I don't think I need to chronicle every outing, every cough for the world. Not only that, I think I have spoken enough about not really being tied down to my phone, so I can leave it in the bag and just be somewhere without it. I must admit, I was really amused by her question - maybe people think I don't have a life because I don't tweet about every little thing I do. Granted, lately I have been sleeping a lot, but there are also birthday parties, baby showers, girls' nights out, countryside drives on the weekend, cooking adventures, property viewings, shopping trips, Mummy/daughter Saturdays, being the best aunty 2 kids can ever want. It may not always be the most exciting but it's my life - and it's mine to share or not share as I choose.

Question: So what's next?

It's Sunday. I have finished all the weekend chores. Sipping on my iced tea and soon going back to bed. Life is good.

Read more »

Be Fair. Please don't Share. - The Social Media Privacy Question

Photo credit: The Daily Mail

A very contentious issue came up this week. I already had a bit of a rant about how much we share at the risk of being socially anti-social. The question this week was what do we share, particularly as it relates to privacy, and drilling down even more, other people's privacy.

In this social media age where it seems to be open season for sharing, you have people sharing the most intimate details of life via Facebook updates, and photos on Facebook and Instagram. The problem is, it's sometimes not details about their life, but about yours.

New baby? Oh, let's post about your new baby - from when it was born, to the first photos.
Just got married? Let me share your photos, your vows, your buffet table.

I mean, is there a limit to how far we go with the sharing? I have no problem with those who wish to share their breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snack with their 600-strong network. I do have a problem with those who feel sharing my special moments with that same 600-strong network is cool.

Now it's different folks for different strokes. There are those who have no problem with you taking photos of their wedding or children and sharing them everywhere, and that's fine. There are also those who feel like these are private moments that they wish to keep within the confines of cherished personal memories in a closed network of friends and family - whether they choose to keep that network offline, or online. There are some who will argue that you cannot stop persons from taking photos and sharing them on Facebook. My counter argument is, if I invite you to share in a special moment that I would like to keep private and bound to those closest to me, and I ask you politely to not share those moments with your online network, and you do, then I would have to strongly re-evaluate my relationship with you.

A super cute way of being very firm with
your guests about what they do at your wedding

A couple invites you to a wedding because in the most ideal of situations, they consider you a friend and someone special enough to share in their special day. They invited YOU - not you and your 600-strong Facebook network. Children I feel are particularly off limits because people guard them so closely. I have not even shared my niece's photos with friends since my brother has not done so with his friends. I am not "bes'" aunty and I respect the parents' decision to keep their little girl from the interwebs. I have shared her cuteness with friends one-on-one via email or instant messaging but that's aunty pride, and not a desire to overshare.

People need to respect other people's privacy especially if it is explicity requested. If your own life is so sad that you have to share everything from other people's lives to get "likes" and "comments", well...

What's worse and as I indicated in that other post, you lose the special moments when you are glued to the screen of the phone, trying to get the best angles etc. Just live life. Just enjoy the moments for what they are worth.

Read more »

We Don't Have Wi-Fi. Talk to each other!

Brilliant!

A friend shared this photo today (on Facebook...the irony) and I went “LOVE!”

Now while I do love me some social networking – some Facebookin’, some tweetin’, some bloggin’ – I am still always a bit challenged when it comes to taking all that into the offline space. For example, I remember going to try a new restaurant, and pulling my phone out to capture the food the moment it was placed in front of me, and I remember being very aware that I probably looked pretty stupid, and looked like THAT girl taking photos of her food. In fact, I tried to take the photo on the down low, looking around to see if anyone was watching my smartphone antics, even taking the flash off to avoid being spotted. Lol.

I always feel a bit invasive if I pull out my phone in a restaurant or at an event. While I do indeed take the occasional photo for the blog, I still don’t capture a whole lot of stuff which I am sure would make my blog awesome. I love other blogs that have all those wonderful moments, and yes, we often do live vicariously through those recorded moments, but I am still grappling with the balance between recording the moments and living the moments.

I used to joke about life in London, when on the train, the hamsters would have their eyes dead set on the screens of their phones, oblivious to life around them. At a recent event here in Trinidad, I felt that sense of déjà vu where I sat in a room, at a great event, with great people, and there was a smartphone in every hand, and several pairs of eyes and minds were lost in cyberspace – Instagramming the food, tweeting about the drinks, checking in to the venue, but not really enjoying the food, enjoying the drinks, or enjoying the real people in the room at that moment.

We go out and we sit with the phones within our reach, stalking it for that beep, that shrill, that flashing light indicating a message, an email, a tweet, a comment, while there are a myriad of great things maybe happening at the table. It’s what I would describe as being socially anti-social – we are social in the 2013 sense of the word, but in truth, there is an element of distracted, insular, selfish behavior every time we bow our heads to “socialise” on our phones in the company of others.

I am not perfect. I very often fail at dinners or events when I check in or whatsapp a friend a photo, or what have you. But more and more, I am challenging myself to leave the phone in my bag and just enjoy the moment for what it is. I don’t always succeed, but hey…

Read more »

LinkedIn or Link Up?: Woes of the Single Professional

LinkedIn Dating? Really?
Photo credit: Business Insider

Two entries in one day - how lucky you are!

I am sure many of you, at one time or another, have been virtually accosted by strange men or women on social networking sites, whether it is Facebook, or to a lesser extent Twitter (if you have a Twitter hook up story, please share). I have had friends of friends hit me up for dates and stuff on Facebook, though why they feel Facebook is a dating site is a bit beyond me.

However, I did not think that I would get date requests and be hit up on freakin' LinkedIn. LinkedIn - the social networking site for business. The site where you clean up well, with a nice professional looking photo, and you talk shop with your peers, try to make connections, and look for new opportunities. That was what I thought it was for. So imagine my dismay to find a connection request from some random guy, and a note that was anything but business-driven, unless the business he is in is matchmaking, pimping or soft porn. To make matters worse, he listed his actual job, and has a photo - though the photo itself was more Facebook party time, than business.

Is this what we have come to? Trolling any and every site for a hook up? Maybe he felt that he can find a good wife - employed and possibly a sugar mama type. But I was totally unimpressed. Totally.

Then I remembered this.




There is a REAL market out there for people looking for professionals as matches and I am not disagreeing with this, and this service does not open up all of LinkedIn for the lonely hearts out there which is good. I would then suggest people like Mr Wonderful sign up for this, and not use general LinkedIn as a meat market. Most of us are really not using it for that. Or are we???

Read more »

Flirting 1.0 in a 2.0 world

I have on occasion on this blog described the Trini courting methods - maybe not in great detail but I have, like I did here. In case you needed a reminder, one such encounter went like this -

Scene: Trininista walking down the streets of Port of Spain, during her lunch break, looking cute as always, albeit a little aggravated cause the Third World pavements are destroying my Manhattan bought shoes, and threatening to give me a sprained ankle. A man is walking in the opposite direction, towards the 'nista. He is leering in that Trini way. Smiling. His lips curve as he prepares to speak, no doubt about to utter some lame line about my figure or my complexion. I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses and ready my lips, tongue and teeth to release the loud sucking sound Trinis call a "steups".

Man: Baby, you look good. I wanna ride you like Seabiscuit.

Steups averted. It was so funny I made sure I was out of his sight before I laughed aloud. It is a line that I have placed as my #1 pickup line ever!

Fast-forward to the technology age. Now I have weird men offering to chat me up on Facebook, as I have complained on countless occasions on my wall, and to friends whose "thirsty" friends spot my cuteness on a comment or a "like" and feel it is a free-for-all on the friend requests. Now I also have random men stalking me even on Twitter. How do you stalk someone on Twitter? I am not sure but it must take a special (idle) type of person. In any event, a few weeks ago, on my other handle - my professional handle - a young man sent me a DM, not just chatting me up, but extending the cyber assault by offering his BBM pin.

BBM fever

Two problems with this, Mr Twitterati-Flex:

1. I love the sound of the human voice. I mean, what is it now with people and all these gadgets and texting and BBMing and malarkey? Does anyone even know how to make a phone call anymore? Call me old fashioned, but I love a good old phone call. A few months ago, a guy, who should have known better cause he knew me well enough by then, tried to plan a date with me via text and email. He did not hear from me and never once thought, maybe I should call. Nope. He was depending solely on this email which I could not, or would not access cause I was out. Sorry but I only access emails on my laptop. I spend enough time on this as it is. I am not going to sit online via my phone as well. So he waited and waited, getting no answer from me, and then sent me a text. "What's happening later? I sent an email". A phone call would have solved all his dating problems. I thought maybe this was an English thing but I know it is becoming a global communication phenomenon. It irks me.

As for Mr BBM, I mean, if he had asked me for my Skype, he may have had a chance (.0000001 of a chance), but my BBM pin? Really? Which brings me to point #2.

2. I do not currently own a Blackberry or any type of smartphone. I know this makes me a social and technological pariah, but I don't want to be one of those hamsters on the platform, with eyes glued to the screens of a phone. While I can access all things internet on my piece of crap Samsung, I don't. Trinis love the art of maccoing aka minding other people's business. Being in London, the city of the seemingly indifferent, has not changed that. I always on the lookout for something interesting from homosapiens. That's the fun part of life.

I feel like all these gadgets, while great on many levels, also retard socialisation and I must admit, I resent it.

Needless to say, the young man never got a response. I do not respond to Facebook, Twitter or BBM flirting. Fun fact for today. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I much prefer random men in the street and their Seabiscuit analogies. At least it is in 3D and live surround sound.

Read more »

Pinterest - Pin What???

So when I started using Pinterest, I was like...what the hell is this? How is this supposed to be interesting? What's the point? Who came up with this?

I just could not see the point. But after using it for a while, I have seen the point.

Pinterest is like an online/digital scrapbook, where you can "pin" things that interest you - hence the name. Duh. However, I would describe it as a great resource where I can put together things according to lists so I can go back to them, without having to bookmark them on my toolbar. And my mind is like a sieve these days - I often take a list to the supermarket to avoid catastrophe, like forgetting the macaroni when the plan was to make macaroni pie! This is perfect for me.

So for example, being a broke superstar, there are a lot of things I lust after at the moment that I simply am not in the position to buy right now. So I pin them. God help the retailers when I get a job! Beware!

My Style Pinboard on Pinterest

Another example, let's say I was lucky enough to have some dude get down on one knee and ask to spend the rest of his days with him, then I would need to do the dress, the invites, the honeymoon - all the bridezilla type things. Great tool for bookmarking ideas and stuff you like, and then going back to them to make final decisions.

I have this burning desire to have my own home and make it so me, and while I am not actively looking for ideas, sometimes you just come across things that you find interesting or "you". I say, pin 'em, suckers.

• Home makeover ideas - pin those ideas.
• Baby stuff or ideas for nursery - pin those ideas.
• Books you simply must read one day - pin them.
• Places you want to visit - pin them.
• Hairstyle or complete MILF makeover ideas - pin them.
• Recipes - pin them
• Clever quotes you want to keep for posterity - pin 'em.
• Party ideas - pin them
• Carnival costume choices - pin them
• Diets to fit into said skimpy Carnival costumes - pin them. lol.
• Men you wanna date or marry - lol...well, maybe not so much. But hey, don't let me stop you!

As far as I see, if you have something that really rocks your world, and you want one place where you can keep it all together, then why not pin it?

I am not addicted but it can be addictive especially if you are indeed working on a personal project, and you can meet "pinners" with the same interests who may also have fabbo ideas that you can then "re-pin" to your own scrapbook. So there you go! Pinterest, in a few words.

For more step by step Pinterest stuff, visit here.
To follow me on Pinterest, click here.

Read more »

140 characters will never be enough...

Retweeted the truth this afternoon:

Step away from social media. Real life is more important.

I am online a lot only cause I am on my laptop a lot. I am currently in the throes of the joys of interview transcription and God knows I could use a distraction from that.  But I don't have this overwhelming sensation to tweet all day or do a gazillion challenges or try every new thing. Sometimes I actually get bored with it. Honestly. Sometimes I don't want to blog, or tweet or update. The days I don't want to blog, I don't blog. And it's okay to not want to. I think it's great when you don't force it or make it happen because you think someone will miss it. I am sure noone misses it. I love going out, having a life and maybe blogging about it. I don't blog about everything I do either. Hardly. I love the convenience of online interaction, but cherish the richness of offline adventures and relationships, without the intrusion of online tricks.

I wrote this last year in  my other blog:

I remember the days when you could go to dinner with your girlfriends or go to the mall or take a nap, without a camera phone in your face. You would get home and not have to worry that already you had been tagged by Mary in 8 photos. Life used to be so simple then. You socialised without socialising. That is, you went out and enjoyed the concept of going out and catching up and having a good time and did not get lost in the tomorrow of "I need to share this with my network" or "This will make a great profile photo". These days Facebook does not even need an invitation or to RSVP. It's the ultimate stormer, wedding crasher and boldfaced guest...

...I don't sit at the dinner table with my smartphone checking tweets or emails. I like looking into the faces of friends and hearing their laughter and being wholly part of the moment. And if I don't have tons of photos to remember the occasion, or some means to let my network know that the steak was spectacular, that's okay. 

It really is. Okay. I love this video as well. Is this you?

Read more »

Memorable Mobile (phone) Moments

The vague twitterings

So I can finally blog about my day on Tuesday. So to make a long story pretty damn short, I won a competition and ultimately won myself a chance to be on the set of the new T-Mobile UK ad.  For those who don't know about the T-Mobile UK ads, they are loads of fun. I cannot decide which one I like the most but getting the chance to be on set for the new one was something I was excited about.

Now I was under the impression that I was just going to be on set, and see how they did the whole thing and for a Communications postgrad, that in itself is exciting. Little did I realise, I was going to be IN the damn thing. lol. When lovely Charlotte called me and told me to dress up in my "Sunday best", I was like "say what?"

Needless to say, the trininista is always prepared and despite being away from home, I did manage to throw a couple frocks in my bag while packing how many months ago, so I did in fact have an item which could be aptly described as "Sunday best". And despite all my quarrelling about no heels in London, I do in fact have a pair with me. I would never leave home without a pair of heels. AS IF!

Charlotte would not divulge much about the location, the concept, what I was going to be doing - nada. It was all pretty 007, and I showed up at the meeting point, which was not the set, and had no clue what I was getting myself into. I figured if I was in a silly purple dress, with a rose hair accessory, and heels, in the middle of rush hour morning - a dress which was more Caribbean than Britain, and on a cold English day, I was hopefully going to be indoors.

Furthermore, Sunday best typically means a) a church or b) a fancy schmancy dinner. The next stop was in fact a hall, where I assumed we would be for option B, but nope - just briefing. It was so clandestine, you would not believe. Not a peep from anyone. Zero. Nada. Rien.

There were probably about 80 other people there - all in fancy suits and fancy dress and hats. I loved the ladies in their hats. All sizes, all colours. Some of these gals took this thing really seriously, coming with suitcases with different outfits and hats to make sure they looked right for the part so they could be caught on camera. I wondered whether I could pull off a hat and decided that yes, I could, cause I am fabulous.

My lovely rose hair accessory

The other lucky winners - all great people might I add - were also clueless, as were the other 80-odd people. We then underwent a cursory once-over by wardrobe, who politely decided who was fancy enough to stay in what they were wearing for the shoot or who would end up in what I would later call, the dreaded choir outfit. I passed the test, in my purple Caribbean dress and rose hairpiece, but they took poor Sonso away from me and I had no idea where they had gone with my friend until later. I could not stop laughing after seeing the expression on her face when I next saw her.

At the church. Yes...the church. The concept was more than obvious by then, but will let you see for yourself below. Keep in mind where I am and what people are looking forward to here. I still managed surprise and enthusiasm because really it was loads of fun, even after doing the same take a million times and acting surprised every time.  Also there was Louie Spence, who I imagine is a big deal here cause everyone was like "Is that Louie Spence?" - just thought I would put that in there although even after Googling the chap, still have no clue who he is, except that I assume he helped choreograph the scene.

But the company was good fun, as I sat with 3 gorgeous and funny boys, who made laughing and smiling throughout the shoot rather easy. The other extras (sorry...the politically correct term is support artist) were superb and it was a good day out for the oft-frazzled postgrad. And while my classmates were pulling hairs out over their proposals, I was standing and smiling on cue, and later posing for photos, with "royalty".

The ad is not as great as the others they have done and I expected more actually, especially after all the secrecy and hype, but the fun factor was high for us there on the day. I can put that on my list of fun London moments.

Never a dull moment in trininista-world! Here is the ad, which was released today and which is why my code of silence is finally broken. You can see the edge of my dress but that's all and I am pretty happy with that. I am not a tv star!

Read more »

The Finale that left us breathless...

I think I am all over the cybersphere with Grey's. It was just awesome awesome awesome.

My fab Facebook/BBM friends and fellow fanatics:

I have no words...no words after last night. Ok maybe just one...BRILLIANT!

It was just epic, just brilliant, the best in Primetime I have seen for a while. When Clark shot annoying Reed point blank I knew we had trouble.



All I could say is thank God meh heart strong eh!! from the beginning my jaw was on the floor, straight till the end
 
Such a great show! I am especially appreciative of the fact that there were no cliff-hangers - who hadda dead, dead and who hadda live, live.



This woman, Shonda Rhimes looking to kill people. I swear, if the earth had shook last night in Trinidad as it did in Costa Rica, I would have not been bothered cause I was right there at Seattle Grace, right with all of these amazing people. I am still stunned by its awesomeness and wow...I almost love this woman. - trininista

 
I posted my epic review of this epic episode this morning, after my local IP failed me last night because it was penned right after the show ended, such was the fabness!

Shonda, even with all the gore (I mean, damn...Reed's bullet to the head made me jump off the couch) kept the show's Greyness, with the relationships still being the focal point of all the drama. The relationship between Owen and Cris and Teddy and Owen's indecision and lunacy. The relationship between Cris and Mer, cause Mer told her first about being pregnant and even though she had just ended it with Owen, Cris was too happy for her friend and to be godmother if the worst should happen - which it almost did (damn you Shonda). The beginning of one love (Alex and Lexie) totally ending the hope for another love (Lexie and Mark, but not that I was hoping, just felt really bad for Markie). The love one woman has for the entire world and how it takes such a toll on HER emotions (Bailey). The lesbian love which seems destined to haunt us. The love between a man and a woman, so deep that not even death could tear them apart (Mer and McDreamy). The love of that guy, that father figure, that man who would not leave his troops behind, who would not retreat in defeat, who would risk his own life to ensure his hospital was safe and who without a doubt has the balls, the passion, the experience and the heart to get back his frickin job as Chief. My Chief!

We loved it, we shared in every jaw dropping, nail biting moment. If nothing else exciting were to happen this week, at least we would have Grey's Anatomy. Thank you Shonda. Thank you ABC! Still want you to keep Flash Forward but I will try not to push it.
Gotta love social networking and how it makes being a tv drama fan so much fun. But the real question now is, what do I do on Thursday nights until it comes back on in the fall? (scratches head)

Read more »