Flirting 1.0 in a 2.0 world

I have on occasion on this blog described the Trini courting methods - maybe not in great detail but I have, like I did here. In case you needed a reminder, one such encounter went like this -

Scene: Trininista walking down the streets of Port of Spain, during her lunch break, looking cute as always, albeit a little aggravated cause the Third World pavements are destroying my Manhattan bought shoes, and threatening to give me a sprained ankle. A man is walking in the opposite direction, towards the 'nista. He is leering in that Trini way. Smiling. His lips curve as he prepares to speak, no doubt about to utter some lame line about my figure or my complexion. I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses and ready my lips, tongue and teeth to release the loud sucking sound Trinis call a "steups".

Man: Baby, you look good. I wanna ride you like Seabiscuit.

Steups averted. It was so funny I made sure I was out of his sight before I laughed aloud. It is a line that I have placed as my #1 pickup line ever!

Fast-forward to the technology age. Now I have weird men offering to chat me up on Facebook, as I have complained on countless occasions on my wall, and to friends whose "thirsty" friends spot my cuteness on a comment or a "like" and feel it is a free-for-all on the friend requests. Now I also have random men stalking me even on Twitter. How do you stalk someone on Twitter? I am not sure but it must take a special (idle) type of person. In any event, a few weeks ago, on my other handle - my professional handle - a young man sent me a DM, not just chatting me up, but extending the cyber assault by offering his BBM pin.

BBM fever

Two problems with this, Mr Twitterati-Flex:

1. I love the sound of the human voice. I mean, what is it now with people and all these gadgets and texting and BBMing and malarkey? Does anyone even know how to make a phone call anymore? Call me old fashioned, but I love a good old phone call. A few months ago, a guy, who should have known better cause he knew me well enough by then, tried to plan a date with me via text and email. He did not hear from me and never once thought, maybe I should call. Nope. He was depending solely on this email which I could not, or would not access cause I was out. Sorry but I only access emails on my laptop. I spend enough time on this as it is. I am not going to sit online via my phone as well. So he waited and waited, getting no answer from me, and then sent me a text. "What's happening later? I sent an email". A phone call would have solved all his dating problems. I thought maybe this was an English thing but I know it is becoming a global communication phenomenon. It irks me.

As for Mr BBM, I mean, if he had asked me for my Skype, he may have had a chance (.0000001 of a chance), but my BBM pin? Really? Which brings me to point #2.

2. I do not currently own a Blackberry or any type of smartphone. I know this makes me a social and technological pariah, but I don't want to be one of those hamsters on the platform, with eyes glued to the screens of a phone. While I can access all things internet on my piece of crap Samsung, I don't. Trinis love the art of maccoing aka minding other people's business. Being in London, the city of the seemingly indifferent, has not changed that. I always on the lookout for something interesting from homosapiens. That's the fun part of life.

I feel like all these gadgets, while great on many levels, also retard socialisation and I must admit, I resent it.

Needless to say, the young man never got a response. I do not respond to Facebook, Twitter or BBM flirting. Fun fact for today. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I much prefer random men in the street and their Seabiscuit analogies. At least it is in 3D and live surround sound.

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Mobile Phone Autobots

Breakfast of champions. It was foggy when I pulled the curtains back this morning and a bit chilly, but then in my present condition, I am constantly chilly. So I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and doused it with mini marshmallows. I have run out of bread, and forgot to ask my cousin to get me some yesterday because hell no, I am not gonna get it myself. I may just call him after his meeting and ask him to do his girl a favour.

Speaking of phone calls, I remember putting my mobile phone down one day and having a friend laugh at it because it had an antenna. I had never noticed it before - the antenna.

I had never really thought about the fact that my cell phone was a virtual dinosaur in the iPhone/Blackberry/Android lovin' world. I had always just regarded it for what it was - a phone: a connection between myself and people who may want to talk to me or text me. I barely use it because the most important people in my life can reach me via Skype and email, but it's always good to have it - in case you're stranded or locked out of the house. True stories! lol.

I used to be a really serious phone person. I remember when I got my very first cell phone, a Nokia, I would spend hours on it with my then-boyfriend. I mean, 3-4 hours just talking on the phone. Fast forward and people have phones but they don't really use them to make calls. This is where I guess, I am really un-hip and totally unprogressive. This is probably why I never noticed the antenna on my un-smart phone. People don't call anymore. Communication has gone from voice to text, BBMs and the like.

I am not as neanderthal as one may think. I am just a student, using a hand me down phone because I did not see the point of spending money on a new one when this one works just fine. In my previous life, as corporate superstar, I was part of the Blackberry tribe - with the world at my fingertips. But even then, I was not a texter, a BBMer, an emailer - except when sitting in waiting rooms, bored out of my mind. I was not the person taking photos all day of people and things around me, missing priceless interaction in the process. But I was the person who appreciated a phone call - an honest to goodness, ring ring, hello phonecall. I really really despise texting. The odd text to ask for a favour or something - sure (with a push), but carrying on an entire conversation using the keypad - annoying. The same went for BBM-ing. C'mon.

I am always challenged here by the hamsters on the trains, with their eyes glued to a smartphone screen, doing God knows what and not seeing the life around them. They're called smartphones but really, we don't look too smart using them - slaves to a tiny keypad. We look like robots unaware of each other. It's pretty sad. I think I will stick to my outdated antenna'ed phone, thanks.

And may I also add that life is fragile. Not trying to be dramatic or anything (okay, maybe I am cause I am a dramatic person...lol), but I was so sick last night that when I finally put myself to bed, I thought, God, will I open my eyes in the morning? lol. Seriously though - we take so much for granted sometimes. Think about it.

I have a full day of studying ahead, so turning both my laptop and my prehistoric phone off. Wish me and my sinuses good luck!

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