Love is the Greatest Adventure - TW Wed-Zine 2015

Behind the scenes of the TW Wed-Zine photo shoot
Photo credit: Antony Scully

So have you started planning your wedding?

More than half of single women have already planned their wedding before they have found a groom...
Millions of women still looking for 'Mr Right' have researched elements churches, flowers, reception venues, bridesmaids dresses and the car which will take them to the church.
...nearly two thirds of single females have planned their wedding day since they were a child.
And 34 per cent of unspoken-for women regularly browse the web for inspiration on flowers, dresses and elaborate venues.

- Findings of an Interflora survey in the UK, as reported by The Telegraph.

As a single gal, I can attest to this, and unashamedly. A woman's wedding day is something that has its genesis from perhaps as early as when she got her first doll. Whether it is a lavish 600 guests-strong affair, a simple beach wedding, a subdued civil ceremony or an intimate destination wedding, a woman's special day is something she has been planning in one form or another, for years.

When the question has finally been popped, the real work begins - taking the childhood dream from an idea to reality. A lot of times, the dream has been formed through media experiences - what a girl sees on tv, or in the movies, or in glossy foreign magazines. For local couples though, the search for ideas, concepts and recommendations is much closer than they think.

Trinidad Weddings has just released its latest issue of its increasingly popular TW Wed-Zine - a top resource for brides- and grooms-to-be (yes, grooms plan too), and is an official how-to, go-to, what-to for weddings in 2015. Also popular among wedding vendors, planners and students, the TW Wed-Zine is not only a great resource, but it is a locally produced resource and one that is of an exceptional standard.

TW Wed Zine 2015

TW Wed Zine 2015

The beautiful brides of the TW Wed Zine 2015 cover
Photo Credit: Aarti Gosine

I love that one gets a full feel of what a wedding can be - from the international trends to what can be delivered locally from industry experts. Editor and founder, Simone Sant-Ghuran launched the 2015 magazine recently at ZaZou Bistro Moderne at the Trinidad Country Club, which in my estimation, oozes love and romance so it was a perfect venue to talk love, marriage...

...and adventure.

This year, the magazine’s theme of “Love is The Greatest Adventure” ties in with an emphasis on outdoor weddings. This issue features several take-your-breath-away love stories from deep in Tobago’s mangrove, a Port of Spain hill top, a rustic log cabin, the Temple By The Sea at sunset, the Wild Fowl Trust, a residential garden and even, the first Catholic wedding held “down the islands.”

TW Wed-Zine Founder and Editor, Simone Sant-Ghuran at the mag launch at ZaZou Bistro
Beautiful dress by CLD - Charu Lochan Dass and accessories by Rachel Rochford

Roses and chocolate at the mag launch - what says love better?
Flowers provided by Latitude 0 and Floral Artistry by Flowers to Treasure
Chocolate Tarts provided by the awesome team at ZaZou Bistro Moderne

Weddings are not all cut from the same cloth and the magazine recognises that couples all want something unique to them. The assortment of wedding stories and ideas can only help the excited lovebirds to refine what they want out of their big day - or at least one hopes, if they are not like me - always overly excited about the choices available.

But it is a must-buy I think. I don't know of anyone who has been married, who has planned their wedding, and who has not referred to someone or something to bring their wedding dream to reality. Love is an adventure and planning a wedding should be an adventure - a good one. There was one day in London, a friend decided she just wanted to go try on wedding dresses. Neither of us were engaged - hell, neither of us were dating. But it was great fun telling the salesgirls about the dream wedding neither of us were having - at the time, But hope for the day is alive. Every girl has that dream wedding in their minds, and I think TW Wed-Zine is an amazing ride for those chasing the dream.

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• This year, readers anywhere in the world can also purchase a hardcopy if they wish. Both the digital and hardcopy versions can be purchased HERE.
• The TW Wed-Zine is sold at 30 retailers throughout Trinidad and Tobago
• For more visit the website - www.trinidadweddings.com 
• Check out the behind the scenes video for the Love is the Greatest Adventure themed cover below.

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LinkedIn or Link Up?: Woes of the Single Professional

LinkedIn Dating? Really?
Photo credit: Business Insider

Two entries in one day - how lucky you are!

I am sure many of you, at one time or another, have been virtually accosted by strange men or women on social networking sites, whether it is Facebook, or to a lesser extent Twitter (if you have a Twitter hook up story, please share). I have had friends of friends hit me up for dates and stuff on Facebook, though why they feel Facebook is a dating site is a bit beyond me.

However, I did not think that I would get date requests and be hit up on freakin' LinkedIn. LinkedIn - the social networking site for business. The site where you clean up well, with a nice professional looking photo, and you talk shop with your peers, try to make connections, and look for new opportunities. That was what I thought it was for. So imagine my dismay to find a connection request from some random guy, and a note that was anything but business-driven, unless the business he is in is matchmaking, pimping or soft porn. To make matters worse, he listed his actual job, and has a photo - though the photo itself was more Facebook party time, than business.

Is this what we have come to? Trolling any and every site for a hook up? Maybe he felt that he can find a good wife - employed and possibly a sugar mama type. But I was totally unimpressed. Totally.

Then I remembered this.




There is a REAL market out there for people looking for professionals as matches and I am not disagreeing with this, and this service does not open up all of LinkedIn for the lonely hearts out there which is good. I would then suggest people like Mr Wonderful sign up for this, and not use general LinkedIn as a meat market. Most of us are really not using it for that. Or are we???

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Why I'm a Great Catch

I was having a chat with a friend of the male variety last night, over some hummus (I love that I can just go to Tesco and buy any variety I want without having to make it myself), and he asked the million dollar question: Why are you single? Well, buddy, if I could give you an answer, I would have. I can probably say maybe it's my bad habit of rolling my eyes at men who try to impress me, or the fact that I don't tolerate nonsense, or the fact that I don't like bald or balding men which seems to be the norm here (snicker). But he did point out why I was a great catch, in his own funny "man" way.

The obvious - I'm cute. I won't go on too much about this for fear of being called vain. But I am.

Again, not going to expound but I am also smart and hella funny.

I love sports. I do. I love watching sports and going to watch sports. During the World Cup, if you are not a football fan, you are persona non grata in my life. Yes, I can appreciate the male form, but I also do appreciate the game. However, there has to be some balance as well. While I complain about my cousin watching football for hours on end, this is only because it interrupted productive student life. I also find something very pathetic about anyone who will sit for hours and hours and hours watching sports, or tv in general, when life is happening around them. It's the same way I feel about people married to their smartphones, Twitter etc. Go out...do something. But anyway, guys like a woman who not only loves sports but can appreciate THEIR love for sports. So when they are watching basketball or football, the woman understands why they don't want to snuggle at that exact moment. lol.

One of my many masterpieces

I'm a great cook. I love how he said this as he munched on store bought hummus. lol. There is immense truth in the saying, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I have spun my magic web around the fragile consciousness of male homosapiens just by twirling my pot spoon. I need to take greater advantage of this magic power.

I appreciate other people's space. I love having my "me" time and in the same vein, I appreciate the other person's space as well. I have seen too many girlfriends who do not give a guy a chance to breathe - always calling, nagging. My cousin had one of his typical boys' nights here and one of the girlfriends came over - uninvited. Why, honey? Don't you see there are only men here? What was even more annoying, somehow I was left to "babysit" this twit when all I wanted to do was watch my chick flick in the other room. By myself. Clinginess, on either side, is never cute.

To add to the above, I have my own interests and I am independent. Some men say they want an independent woman and then cannot deal with all that entails, but my friend pointed out that generally, the fact that I have my built a life and I am not obviously desperate to find a man is apparently attractive. My female relatives, in their sweet, old school way, would have me believe that marriage is the answer to all my problems. Getting a Master's degree and moving along in my chosen field, buying my own house, travelling - not so important to them. lol.

I am the anti-hoochie mama. Sure, I get upset and angry about stuff, but you will never see me doing a "Maury" in public or even in private. You know what a Maury is - a crazed woman who starts cussing, scratching, throwing things, having to be physically restrained from physically hurting the man. No. Or doing a Lifetime - the woman who starts crying and acting hysterical for no good reason. Yeah. That's not me. I stay pretty calm during disagreements. I think that is scarier - sitting and smiling at them, because then they go to bed with one eye open. lol. But seriously, I have crossed the threshold of teenaged behaviour. I believe there are definitely more grown-up ways of facing conflict. Yet I have seen women in my age bracket and older, who just simply act a fool, and then wonder, why the man vex!!!

All this however does not really help me at this point. But the hummus was amazing. I love hummus. Now, that's a great catch! The dude who can bring me hummus! lol.

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Single and Fabulous?

Single and Fabulous? Is it possible to be both?
Hell yeah!

This evening, I was watching some simply prehistoric episodes of Sex and The City. This episode, "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?" was not only amusing but I am sure so many single people can relate. Carrie agrees to do a shoot for a cover story, and she has a late night and gets to the studio disheveled and ungroomed, but the photographer promises her she is just taking test shots.

Instead what ends up on the cover is a photo of a weary, frazzled looking, chain smoking train wreck, with the caption - Single and Fabulous??

I am not sure where the conspiracy began or who started it, but single people are not on the brink of destruction. Nor do we need rescuing or curing from this incurable disease known as singledom or spinsterhood as some may like to call it. There are many tired and lame stereotypes of single women especially that single women tend to be:

• Lonely
• Bitter
• Aimless
• Promiscuous
• Confused
• Incomplete

...and the list goes on.

I don't think single women need saving. I think sometimes society and some of the social norms push us into a corner and single women are somehow not supposed to be happy or feel fulfilled because they do not have a husband or a brood of kids. The lives we live, even if fulfilling to us personally, is never enough for the world in which we live. Careers and leisure and other pursuits somehow don't mean much to some. We have been brainwashed into believing that life does not really get going until you're hitched, but if your 30s come along and you're still not married - will you wait forever to start living? And while loneliness affects single women, guess what? Married women and women in relationships also feel lonely, even within the confines of marriage which is supposed to be a union of two souls. Loneliness is not limited to single people - or men or women. It strikes anyone at anytime and in any circumstances.

So why is it hard then for some to think that one can be single and fabulous? Maybe I am biased but I always thought being single was fabulous, having its own perks as does marriage and motherhood. There are pros and cons to every state of life. Husbands come in pretty handy when work life gets tough or you need a foot rub or a cinema buddy. Single women can wake up and jump on a plane and just go - no worries about babysitters, husbands etc.

It works both ways. So I denounce the question mark in the caption. Single and Fabulous?? Of course! Single and Fabulous!

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Trini Salsa...or not

Salsa! Baila!

So last night, I went salsa dancing. Having never danced salsa in my life, I was excited and a bit anxious - because while Trinis are great at gyrating and wining, I was not that confident in my Latin dancing ability. The hip movements, I had down but I looked at the intermediate dancers and thought to myself - they expect me to be able to do all that?

In any event, I did not feel like I got a real chance to show my skills. The classes were enormous and totally oversubscribed, leaving very little room for movement. I kept bumping into people and getting my own toes stepped on. Not fun. Additionally, it seemed like some of the patrons' 24 hr deodorant protection only lasted 10 hours, and my eyes were soon glistening with tears as a result of the acrid smell of sweaty underarms. The room itself was very warm, so this did not add to my enjoyment. Needless to say, I was not a very attentive, committed pupil and the eyes of weird, tusty looking men on my form also did not help my comfort levels (although there was one stunner who kept staring at me - high five!). After 10 minutes of bruised toes, burning nostrils and the searing virtual pain from the eyes boring into my ass as I 1-2-3'ed, I stepped to the side and called it quits. It was a sad day for the men of London but a great day for my feet.

The date itself was also a bit bleh. Nice dude, but waaaaaaay too eager for my liking. I foresee a lifetime of clinginess with this one, who already wants to come to my house. Today. Ummm....no.

But as always - it's a great story for my grandkids one day. If I ever get to the point of populating my uterus.

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Great Expectations - The Reasons for Dating

Dating - what is it really?

In Trinidad, I don’t think we really use the word  date. I grew up on American television and got used to hearing about kids dating but no one ever asked me out on a date. We went out on date like things – to dinner, to the movies, etc, but I never dated anyone. It was very much hanging out, liming, going out – not dating. 

In London, people date. It’s the same thing really (or is it?) but it takes some getting used to – dating. In any event, I don’t blog much about the dating activities here, or as I prefer the going-out activities. But it’s pretty fun – not always so much for the relationship building side but more for the entertainment value. I have been introduced to new people, new places, new things. It is a great way to discover the city and meet new people for sure. Maybe not so good for love-hunting, which typically is what dates are all about, isn’t it?

It’s pretty hard to meet people here, as I have indicated before (eyes glued to the smartphone syndrome is very real here) so when you do get thrown a bone, and after determining whether the bone is suitable enough to sniff and nibble on, you make the most of it.

Tonight, I am going salsa dancing with a cute and funny guy. Maybe he will not be Mr Trininista, but we will have a laugh, for sure, especially as neither of us has ever danced salsa in our lives. As I said, in this city, I have set my expectations for love-hunting pretty low, as people generally are so detached and dare I say, some are emotionally retarded, but when it comes to entertainment – my expectations are off the charts!!!

This may not bode well for the husband hungry relatives but it’s just dandy for me at the moment.I think that's why it's so fun for me, because I have stopped having great expectations

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Single Gal Observations: Trinidad vs London

"Mums, is that your daughter? Oh gosh, like yuh take yuh time when yuh was making she".

This was a one-way conversation a random man on the street was having with my mother, as I ran ahead in my fitted jeans and platforms, to the tax office to see how many people I would need to push out of my way. In case you are confused, it was a compliment, suggesting that I was a fine specimen. lol. Trini men have special ways of saying nice things about women. This was about 5 weeks ago, when I was at home. To say I miss these random Trini man moments would be an understatement. In London, one can be virtually invisible - except to the Africans, of course. They see you in 3D, so much so they channel their inner Diana Ross and reach out and touch, much to my annoyance. Admiration - accpetable. Aggression - not so much.

But I now understand why some of these chicks don't even bother to look decent and why they wear wings on their eyelids and call them eyelashes, or pantyhose with holes, or pantyhose with no pants. Noone cares! It is clear to me now. Random strangers do not compliment you or approach you. Hell, they don't even say good morning. If they manage to pry their eyes away from their iPhones, Blackberries or Androids, they stare at you blankly, rather than in admiration. It is really very odd to me - a Trini woman used to blatant adulation and public "affection" and I admit, I loved the amusement of it all, not so much the flattery. I really miss the daily amusement and ego stroking. Thinking I am great is all well and good, but it can only go so far.

Call me spoilt, but aye...every now and then you need a little reminder that you are ON like boiled corn, especially because I am sure I have not morphed into some unsightly creature in 5 weeks!  I mean, I even went on a date the other day, and while I was not expecting the dude to fall at my feet - a little recognition would not have killed him either, especially as I was rockin' a sunny look. I mean, after you take your time to choose a cute outfit, and look fab-u-lous  - nada.

I just needed to get that off my chest, as I think about my life. lol.

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Good Men - Falling Like Rain from the Sky...or Not

Is it raining good men where you are in the world?

My overseas Masters student partner-in-crime, Gerry and I were talking earlier about how it is somehow expected that when you go abroad you are automatically expected to meet this elusive Mr Right...or whatever. When you have a conversation with well-meaning aunts, uncles, co-workers or friends, it's always "So you pick up?" - which generally is them asking if you have met anyone.

Sure. I have met plenty guys here. I am not dead. But is that the point? To amass a bucketload of anykinda men to appease the husband hungry relatives and friends in some demented and twisted way, with no thought of compatibility, sanity and chemistry? No. The point is, it has nothing to do with geography. I realise the man recession is not limited to Trinidad and Tobago - it is indeed an international phenomenon. And I don't mean recession to mean scarce in the true sense of the word. However, these well-wishers also feel I can just get dressed and open the door and voila - compatible, good men just drop from the sky - like rain!

I should probably categorically state - it is not raining good men in London either. You still have to go out and make the effort to find them. I have met all kinds and yes, some may say I am picky but a MAN told me I am not picky enough! So what do you have to say about that?

In any event, please, well-wishers, while it may seem like fun to pounce on me everytime you get me on the phone, or via email, or in person about this man from your visions, it is not fun for me to have to hear the same questions over and over again. Furthermore, I am not singular in this man-a-thon. There are millions of me out there, so maybe you can ask them too!

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The Latest Dating Hot Spots

Love and marriage?

While having drinks last weekend, and somehow spoiling a good day with talk about my dissertation, my girlfriend mentioned that her friend had actually met her husband while doing her dissertation. Yes. She too was conducting interviews in and around London, and met the man she would marry during one of these interviews.

Needless to say, my luck is never that great when it comes to single girl adventures and wedding planners around the world can breathe a sigh of relief. It ain't gonna happen here. My single girl adventures are usually heinous. However, I will admit, today's interviewee was as close to hot as I am probably going to get during this dissertation exercise. Not only was he cute and well dressed, but friendly - nothing better than that. But there was also a very large gold band on the ring finger - not that I was looking or anything. It was just rather large. :)

So where does one meet single guys anymore? It seems as though one can meet people anywhere these days - be it on the train, in the jerk chicken shop (personal story...lol), in the vegetable aisle, or online. Cosmo ranks the top 10 places women can meet men. Among them are the Apple Store, the gym, political rallies and grad school coffee shops. Hmmm...

• I can cross out grad school coffee shops immediately - at least MY grad school coffee shop. FAIL.
• The Apple Store? Really? While this is definitely a man hub, are the men inside an Apple store really focusing on anything other than the gadgets in the Apple store? Do women even compute while they are focused on the bright lights of iPads and the like? And personally speaking, being a non-gadgety person myself, and not a slave to every new trend, I am not sure this is the type of guy I would want in my life. 
• The gym. Been there, done that. No. I have found that the guys at gyms think they are hot shit and thus think they can get any girl in the place and most of the times do. Who wants a sweaty, "think he's all dat" weight room playa?
• Political rallies. Unless it is a non-TT political rally, not interested. If it is a UNC or PNM rally, forget it. Not interested. 

While I am enjoying the many ways of running into man candy here in London, be it over drinks, while trying to open your front door, on the bus, over carrots in the veggie aisle, or over a box of jerk chicken, the question still remains - where have you met your guy or where would you recommend for the single ladies of 2011? 

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Kinky? Nerdy? Crazy? What's YOUR Love Niche?

I'm hoping that the sneezing and sniffles which have been plaguing me since yesterday are the result of some sort of allergy. I would hate to think that it was the cold or flu again. Not again.

So I have decided to do some fun stuff around one of the most ridiculous days in the year - Valentine's Day. And I happened to run across an iVillage slideshow about love niche sites - sites that cater for whatever your fetish may be when it comes to love.

• So you may be looking for a sugar daddy, then this site is for you.
• Some women love the sound of a man with an accent, specifically, the British accent. Look no further, just go here to meet the British bloke of your dreams.
• Or you may be a cancer survivor whose victory over the disease scares some men off. There is an actual site for cancer survivors and the men/women who will love them no matter what. 
• Lately, though my personal "preference" if you may, is the sugar daddy type (lol), I seem to be unconsciously channelling my inner cougar. However, I will not be visiting this site. 
• Maybe you're a single mother, whose kids are a major turn off for prospective suitors. Then, visit this site, where men don't care that you come with "baggage" in the form of cute cherubs.

Photo: Pittsburgh Post Gazette

But the piece de resistance, even after seeing sites for women who want a man in uniform, or a love matches for tree huggers, the winner of them all was the site - Meet An Inmate. I kid you not. Meet An Inmate. Meet a frickin' inmate!!!!

Across America or the world for that matter, there are men and women lonely enough to register a profile to meet a convicted felon. Who does this? I mean, sure...everyone needs love, but really?  The profiles on this site are great. One guy's profile photo is from when he was clearly in his 20s but his listed age is 65 - hmmm...does not sound like he's in there for grand larceny! Life sentence perhaps? Watch Law and Order much? Oh, but wait...he's eligible for parole soon. Lucky you.

But I won't even lie to you - I know someone who met a man who was in prison and planned on marrying him so she could stay in the U.S lol. This world we live in - so damn amusing. So if you're hard up and really on the brink on Monday, find your love niche! lol. You never know who may be out there in a retirement home, high school or a holding cell, waiting...for you.

Check out the complete slideshow here because there were lots more.

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Date Night

As if I were not annoyed enough about having to spend my one free Friday on campus, and then leaving afer 7pm, a dude decided he would try to get snippy and I really was not feeling the attitude. So we had made tentative plans for tomorrow but because I was not sure whether I would need to have a team meeting on Saturday, I could not confirm a time with him immediately. I sent him a text telling him I would confirm this evening after our meeting. He texts me last night, clearly in some kinda rush and I told him again, I would let him know for sure on Friday evening. I mean, if you had something you wanted to plan, just let me know. I could have planned for another day, but he responded that this was cool. As I am leaving campus after working for hours,and deciding that my Saturday had to be mine and not school's, I text him back to tell him what time would work for me. This is the text this bright man sent me:

Hey sorry thought it was evening now so have made plans.

I mean, wow. I was being schooled in when was evening. Can I just say I came here for a Masters degree and not for a distinction in Debrett's etiquette lesson. WTF.

Add annoyance, extreme hunger and cold, and I was not at all impressed with this f..r. So if he thought he was being cheeky, well he clearly had no idea who the arse he was dealing with. Trust me, this not-so-stunning ass knows now. All I will say is, there will be no date tomorrow or ever, and he has not responded. lol.

Instead I seem to have a date with 2 Marketing texts and a PowerPoint presentation and at this present time with a glass of a very nice Shiraz. At least they don't talk back.

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For Sale: Love, Sex and Marriage

A friend shared this video with me and besides the obvious hilarity of it (only a Trini has this kinda time to waste...lol) it really is an amusing reflection of a segment of the local dating scene. In fact, it is not so uncommon in other places either. A dude buys you a drink and though after having to pay for my own drink at a party once, and recognising just how expensive cocktails can be, a $30 drink does not equal commitment.

I saw an episode of Oprah once where a grown woman, I mean a woman in her 50s, was asking Oprah whether it was expected that after a man paid for dinner, that she should sleep with him. I am not sure where this whole material barter thing started - food or drink for sex - but I would hope that more women would appreciate that they are worth more than a plate of ribs or a beer, like my puppet friend in the video. True, some women up the ante and barter sex and companionship for more expensive things like a house, car, trips etc, giving rise to the sugar daddy syndrome, which I support, tongue in cheek. lol. But is love - be it physical or the whole deal - really on sale?

 I just loved the video and wanted to share it. I have a myriad of things I need to do today and I think I should go take a shower.

I have also added some of my favourite products to my Amazon widget, located on the top left of the bloggy blog, so check them out. You may want to order something. I will be changing them out regularly.

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