About Me

Living in the Caribbean is probably like living anywhere else, with the same ups and downs. But it does have its own vibe and flavour and gives me a unique perspective on most things. I'm often sarcastic, mostly funny, always looking for a new adventure. I have not boxed myself into any one category of life. I love a lot of things and dislike a lot more. I write about them all.
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

I am NOT the Biggest Loser

I fell in love with mixed greens and
did a lot of fresh veggies (that's not canned corn, friends)
and paired them with regular stuff like beans
and lean meats/chicken
The Biggest Loser Challenge at work ended a couple weeks ago. I did not win the prize. But I guess the real victory was getting off the couch and getting off the doughnuts. The competition was super fierce. There were people taking 3 spin classes a day and stuff like that, and eating just a banana for breakfast, with water for the rest of the day.

In the end I lost 11.5 lbs through hard work, sweat and a healthy diet.

I did not starve myself. I always had a full breakfast, with 2 egg whites, a roll and a smoothie...okay okay, and coffee. I had a fresh lunch and would keep dinner as light as possible, without starving myself.

I did not go to the gym 3 times a day. I went once a day and did what my body could manage in the time I have before work.

I cut out snacking, consumed more fruits and vegetables, more raw foods.

I challenged myself to make salads that were fun and exciting, because I have always had a love/hate relationship with salads.

I did not get as much sleep as I should have, and this has always been my downfall, but I still felt better.

I did it for myself really - to win was always a goal as well but really, I knew it was necessary. So cheers!

"Me" is not a dirty word

Love your aloneness
Do you have a problem dining alone?

Today, on my day off, I decided to have lunch at a new restaurant I had not yet tried. The original plan was to meet the girls later this evening, but one by one, they bailed on the plan. I could have just rescheduled and met up with them to try this place out next week or whenever, or I could have gotten out of bed and trussed up for a lunch for one. I ended up choosing the latter, which is my usual course of action when I really want to do something. And with it being International Women's Day, I was even more empowered, especially with the lure of complimentary wine in honour of the occasion. So I got dressed, got myself cutesified, grabbed my Kindle and had a very lovely lunch on my day off.

But this is something I do regularly, and not just with lunch, but with life. If I were to wait for others to step in before I decided to do anything, I would be stuck at home, on this island, for all eternity.

But it is more than being brave enough to "be alone" in a grouped up, coupled up world.

I sent my girlfriend a text to tell her I liked the place in general (the staff were very surly but my waitress saved the entire experience), and her response was "Well, I need to get someone to take me there".

My response was "Take yourself".

It's about just doing things for yourself sometimes. Sure we are programmed for social connections, and I am not this man-hater. Hardly. But at the same time, why can't we enjoy who we are sometimes, without the extra trappings? Why does a man have to take you somewhere in order for you to go? Can't you just "take yourself"?  Can't you set aside a monthly "me" allowance to just do something? Whether you're single or in a relationship, I think everyone needs some "me" time every once in a while. And there's nothing wrong with that. Why do we sometimes make "me" a dirty word?

A Tale of Two Breasts - Kate's Breasts

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge aka Kate Middleton
The interwebs have been buzzing with the talk and the actual photos of Kate Middleton's ta-tas. So she went on holiday, took off her top and let her husband rub sun tan lotion all over her.

BIG DEAL!

What is our fascination with nakedness, or more specifically, celebrity nakedness?

Are we still so daft that somehow we think that celebrity body parts perhaps look different or are superior? Have we never ever in our lives seen a pair of female breasts? Did we think maybe her breasts were made of gold or diamond encrusted? Are we so hard up that our only avenue for ogling body parts is by checking out paparazzi photos in a magazine or online? How do Kate Middleton's breasts become such a hot ticket?

I mean, people have sent me the photos (why do people do this?) of Kate's toplessness and I must say, while not advocating the stalking of women to snap shots of their breasts, the secondary issue is that the breasts aren't awesome by boob standards. In much the same way, I did not get the buzz around her sister Pippa's bum, I don't understand this weird fascination with Kate's breasts. Yet all this hoopla - just because they are royal ta-tas? She was not royal a year ago and I am betting she has had them for a while.

But...I want to say that while some may argue that she should appreciate her celebrity status and thus be more careful of where she takes her top off, it speaks again to the baseness of society, where the female body has become a treasure chest (pardon the pun) for third parties, and where a woman's choice to do as she likes in private is questioned and attacked. A woman, princess or not, if she feels liberated in the privacy of her villa, to want to take her top off to get a tan, should be able to do so without feeling like she will be violated and exploited for profit by others, or chastised. How can anyone fault a still new bride enjoying an intimate moment with her husband - prince or not - in the privacy of their vacation home?

I think the entire thing is annoying and played out. I wish the media would find real news to report on.

Packing: Every Woman's Nightmare

I hate packing.

Even though it may be a short trip, I still hate it. It can be so tedious, especially as a woman, cause we all know, we gals are planners and we can then become indecisive. We think ahead and over think. And we have different needs to men. They can wear just about anything and look any old way. We just can't!

But I am getting better and with all the airline restrictions now, it has become mandatory to just leave some things behind. Gone are the days I would have an entire mini carry-on just for my toiletries. But some good tips I have tried to stick to in recent years.

Choose a foundation colour - Especially if like me, you're an accessoriser and your blouse has to match your shoes and handbag etc. Stick to a colour family and take just the accessories you need for that colour family. Or...

Play it safe with the accessories -  You cannot go wrong with black or brown sandals/heels, and a simple necklace and some diamond/gold/silver earrings. Don't overly stress yourself out with the accessorising. Have you seen other tourists lately, waist pouch and all? Once you don't look like them, you have won half the battle already!

Bronze palette - always a winner!
The Toiletries!!! - Here is my challenge. My dressing table is like a shop. Anything you can think of is on there. You need lotions and smelly stuff and hair stuff and night time stuff and mouth stuff. lol. How do you decide what stays and what goes? Well, you can't. But hey, day cream can work as a night cream. So what if you smell like vanilla for the entire vacation? Do you really need to smell musky or floral too? Make vanilla your signature smell for the trip. You also cannot go wrong with a bronze eye palette. It goes with almost everything, so you don't need to take the entire makeup bag! MAC will not burn to the ground because you left all your minis at home. Do you NEED to exfoliate or do a glycolic peel? Do you?

Don't overdo it with the "just in case" items - This is the REAL problem. The "Oh let me take this blouse just in case we go to a club, and this one just in case it is cold that night". Then there are 15 extra tops in the suitcase that you NEVER wear. I am not challenging the "just in case" items but keep it rational!!!

Plan (sensibly and without neurosis) - You can either write it down or lay the clothes out - but plan the outfits strategically, so you know what you are going to wear when. And stick to it. This way you pack just what you need and don't over-pack. You need space for souvenirs and other things when you're coming back home!!

Let's see how I do with this. I can give it, but can I follow it???

Katie Holmes: 2012's Tina Turner

Katie Holmes - free and single in NY
The hoopla around TomKat - the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce will resonate for years with people offering their own theories about the marriage and the faith that seemingly caused its birth and destruction. At the end of it all, there was a sigh of relief when 33 year old Katie Holmes, after 5 years of being married to one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, walked out of her marriage. What struck me is that she did  so, by media accounts, with a lot of guts and a very shrewd mind - using a disposable cell phone to make plans, out of the reach of his Scientology handlers, getting three law firms involved, putting them on standby, contacting Nicole Kidman for advice and going to her dad, a divorce lawyer to ensure she would get out of this thing "alive".

Not only did she get out of it "alive" but she also showed the world that she was not just a trophy wife and after years of being little more than an appendage, she rose to being her own person once more.

While there is certainly no evidence of physical abuse, it is clear that she was under the hold of her husband and his church, a kind of mental and emotional abuse that made her seem older than her years and less exuberant than the Joey Potter-esque Katie the world had known prior to the union. In the middle of all the hoopla, much is being theorised about Scientology and I have no comment on that. Instead I want to say that  Katie came out of this gracefully, with little more than a 2-week period of negotiation to settle the divorce, and not a years-long battle in courts with Tom Cruise brandishing his Hollywood and Scientology power over the little woman. Katie is the winner here and though she did not run out of a hotel room screaming like Tina did, she is a survivor. Props to her.

Babes with Kids: A Great Place for Mums

One thing I love about my friends is that they all are doing amazing things and when I wrote this post, I had a lot of great women in mind - mums who were doing their thing and being fierce!

My friend, Natalya - another one of those "friends from way back in high school", and a fab Trini as well,  agreed to share her story about her business, Babes With Kids - a website that serves as an online guide for mothers and their families.

So what exactly is Babes With Kids, you ask? Natalya explains how it all started.
My second child was born in August 2008 and I took 12 months of maternity leave. It was during this time I realised how difficult it was being a full time Mom. My husband was fully aware of my frustration and prompted me to start up a website. He was shocked that I choose to venture into a website about Motherhood instead of one about Mathematics, which is my field.
Babes with Kids was conceived in January 2009 and, with articles ranging from simply inspiring and motivating to children's education and family health, the site addresses common questions which mothers generally ask from day to day.
Babes with Kids is here to help moms feel, look and be their best! Women can excel in every area of life and having children should not stop anyone from fulfilling their lifelong goals and dreams. Women sacrifice a lot for their children and Babes with Kids is here to remind mothers to take care of themselves as well.
Being a full time teacher and a full time mum, Natalya also recognised that the site could support mothers who work from home.
Babes in Business was set up in May 2010 and will become a directory showcasing and promoting businesses set up by WAHMS (Work at Home Moms). Pregnancy is often the most creative phase of a woman’s life and many women get their best ideas immediately after the birth of a child. I am hoping to hone in on this creative energy and use it to encourage other Moms to become entrepreneurs.

Babes with Kids is an online guide for mums - encouraging them to be fierce!

While the site is primarily for mothers, there are various sections on the website which appeal to almost anyone, with articles across topics such as personal finance, health and beauty and there is even  poetry.

So how does Natalya manage a job, being a wife, mum to 3 kids, Trini superstar and this website?
It is very difficult. I am a full time Math Lecturer at a college in Hackney. I also do freelance work for a couple of exam boards and I am always studying. Having a 5 year old, 3 year old, 4 month old and a husband is not easy at all. I am not afraid to say when I am not coping and to admit when I need help.

None of this would have been possible without the children’s nanny. She is my most valuable asset. Her help allows me to have quality time with each of my kids, alone time at the gym (boxing is my hobby) and time with my husband.

I usually work on Babes with Kids during school holidays. I know that for it to really take off will mean me leaving my teaching job which I love.

(A 5yr old, 3 yr old, 4 mth old AND the husband. I would box too!)

The main challenge for her has been the lack of time to invest into the business.
Babes with Kids is a full time job but my teaching and my family consume the bulk of my time. It is good to know that if and when I decide to leave teaching that I have something else to put my energy into.

It is very rewarding connecting with other mums and reminding them to take time to develop their own well-being.

I continue to be inspired by the women in my life who are mums and doing things they want to do and enjoy doing, totally rocking the "S" on their chests.

You can also follow Babes with Kids on Facebook. 
And also on Twitter.

Single and Fabulous?

Single and Fabulous? Is it possible to be both?
Hell yeah!
This evening, I was watching some simply prehistoric episodes of Sex and The City. This episode, "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?" was not only amusing but I am sure so many single people can relate. Carrie agrees to do a shoot for a cover story, and she has a late night and gets to the studio disheveled and ungroomed, but the photographer promises her she is just taking test shots.

Instead what ends up on the cover is a photo of a weary, frazzled looking, chain smoking train wreck, with the caption - Single and Fabulous??

I am not sure where the conspiracy began or who started it, but single people are not on the brink of destruction. Nor do we need rescuing or curing from this incurable disease known as singledom or spinsterhood as some may like to call it. There are many tired and lame stereotypes of single women especially that single women tend to be:


  • Lonely
  • Bitter
  • Aimless
  • Promiscuous
  • Confused
  • Incomplete


...and the list goes on.

I don't think single women need saving. I think sometimes society and some of the social norms push us into a corner and single women are somehow not supposed to be happy or feel fulfilled because they do not have a husband or a brood of kids. The lives we live, even if fulfilling to us personally, is never enough for the world in which we live. Careers and leisure and other pursuits somehow don't mean much to some. We have been brainwashed into believing that life does not really get going until you're hitched, but if your 30s come along and you're still not married - will you wait forever to start living? And while loneliness affects single women, guess what? Married women and women in relationships also feel lonely, even within the confines of marriage which is supposed to be a union of two souls. Loneliness is not limited to single people - or men or women. It strikes anyone at anytime and in any circumstances.

So why is it hard then for some to think that one can be single and fabulous? Maybe I am biased but I always thought being single was fabulous, having its own perks as does marriage and motherhood. There are pros and cons to every state of life. Husbands come in pretty handy when work life gets tough or you need a foot rub or a cinema buddy. Single women can wake up and jump on a plane and just go - no worries about babysitters, husbands etc.

It works both ways. So I denounce the question mark in the caption. Single and Fabulous?? Of course! Single and Fabulous!

Kinky? Nerdy? Crazy? What's YOUR Love Niche?

I'm hoping that the sneezing and sniffles which have been plaguing me since yesterday are the result of some sort of allergy. I would hate to think that it was the cold or flu again. Not again.

So I have decided to do some fun stuff around one of the most ridiculous days in the year - Valentine's Day. And I happened to run across an iVillage slideshow about love niche sites - sites that cater for whatever your fetish may be when it comes to love.

  • So you may be looking for a sugar daddy, then this site is for you.
  • Some women love the sound of a man with an accent, specifically, the British accent. Look no further, just go here to meet the British bloke of your dreams.
  • Or you may be a cancer survivor whose victory over the disease scares some men off. There is an actual site for cancer survivors and the men/women who will love them no matter what. 
  • Lately, though my personal "preference" if you may, is the sugar daddy type (lol), I seem to be unconsciously channelling my inner cougar. However, I will not be visiting this site. 
  • Maybe you're a single mother, whose kids are a major turn off for prospective suitors. Then, visit this site, where men don't care that you come with "baggage" in the form of cute cherubs.

Photo: Pittsburgh Post Gazette
But the piece de resistance, even after seeing sites for women who want a man in uniform, or a love matches for tree huggers, the winner of them all was the site - Meet An Inmate. I kid you not. Meet An Inmate. Meet a frickin' inmate!!!!

Across America or the world for that matter, there are men and women lonely enough to register a profile to meet a convicted felon. Who does this? I mean, sure...everyone needs love, but really?  The profiles on this site are great. One guy's profile photo is from when he was clearly in his 20s but his listed age is 65 - hmmm...does not sound like he's in there for grand larceny! Life sentence perhaps? Watch Law and Order much? Oh, but wait...he's eligible for parole soon. Lucky you.

But I won't even lie to you - I know someone who met a man who was in prison and planned on marrying him so she could stay in the U.S lol. This world we live in - so damn amusing. So if you're hard up and really on the brink on Monday, find your love niche! lol. You never know who may be out there in a retirement home, high school or a holding cell, waiting...for you.

Check out the complete slideshow here because there were lots more.

The "IT" factor

Last night I got home and as tired as I was, I still managed to whip up a fat-busting lunch for today. Some stir fried spinach chock full of onions, garlic and natural herbs, some chicken, steamed then browned and yummified in the oven and because I knew I would surely pass out without a starch, I boiled a small potato and added a little cheese and creamed corn. It smelled great. Tastes amazing too.
Hopefully it will hold me over between now and end of gym time later tonight. God help me!

Now I have been enjoying the gym and when I eat the way I am supposed to eat, aka PROPERLY, I feel better as well. I too often fall in the rush hour trap - the trap where I am stuck in traffic and about to eat my hand, so I stop off at the nearest shop or outlet, or Bobo Shanti for something to save me from hunger mania. My meals now are more balanced and I have a snack in the car that is more in keeping with health, than junk in the trunk. But though Plus Size is apparently anything over a Size 6, making me a super mampie by anorexic model standards, I still think I am da bomb. Of course I have varying degrees of bombness. Some days I am nuclear warhead - unstoppable, hot, explosive - and some days I am maybe just a little home made fertiliser bomb. But all in all I think between God, my parents and my credit card, I do alright for myself.

This brings me to an article I read this morning that started:
“There is no such thing as an ugly woman … it’s all about how a woman packages herself.”

If this is not the truth, I don't know what is. I tend to try to not use the word "ugly" to describe people (but won't lie, sometimes I do, and worse) but especially with women. I lean towards words like "rugsy" or "nashy", which I have many times also applied to myself, especially after long flights, gym or tabanca. Nashy suggests that you just are not packaging yourself to the best of your ability; that you can shine like a gold penny if you made the effort, but maybe you just don't care for one reason or another, or are clueless, or as is often the case in my world, too tired to bother. But it's also about how the woman views herself and what she exudes - that "IT" factor that makes her unique and awesome. My "IT" factor is made up of a lot of different elements - my sense of humour, my sarcasm, my marshmallowyness when pushed, my independence, my smarts, my unique brand of crazy, my outspokenness. So even when I may not physically meet conventional standards, because hey, I have very early days almost everyday, so the smurf effect is not always a guarantee, I still have my personal mojo that works. It's true...people can really look past the superficial when your "IT" is way on!

And the article, written by a man by the way, went on to agree with me:
The women we call ‘Plain Janes’ are so used to being sidelined for hotter, beautiful women. In the end, most of these women up their self esteem and re-package their personalities giving rise to stimulating individualism. And when such refreshed individualism is pitted against her hot, superficial friends, they ooze sexual charisma even from sniffing distance. This woman’s sexuality runs deeper than surface mascara.

We all have our down days, our fertiliser bomb days. But we all have "IT". It's how you choose to demonstrate and own your "it"and work it, to the best of your ability. Your "it" is just another part of your selling proposition. So are you working your "IT"?

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