2015 - Finding those Moments and Moving Forward

Back in March, I did a check in on 2015 - to assess how I had been doing to date with my goals. It was a slow start but it was not tragic. However, somewhere between then and now, it went downhill and 2015 was a dud of a year. Too much work and work-related stress and concerns definitely, which led to exhaustion and indifference and bad moods. Still, there were many brilliant moments.

Aperol spritz - The drink was amazing as was the vacation on which it was consumed daily. Venice, Florence, Paris - brand new adventures in the first, making fresh memories in the next two. It was a really great vacation.

Being the best aunty ever - There were sleepovers, game days, sous-chef training. This aunty gig kicked into overdrive this year and as I type, I have a sleeping 5 yr old next to me. We watched Paw Patrol, played with his new crane and had chocolate. Last night I had to dig deep into the grey matter to remember bedtime stories, but in the end the 3 little pigs survived the wolf but they were all then eaten by a dinosaur.

Best Big Sister - Mentoring has been a joy.  I loved being a Big to my Little this year. She is so creative and smart. Volunteering is a gift that really does keep on giving. I am looking forward to another such project in 2016. If we can lend support to those who need it, let's do it!!!

More time with friends - There were some epic breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and such this year. I spent less time on social media and more time in the present.Sadly the blog was included in this - will do better! Friends will be visiting in 2016 and I am excited and so too, I hope, I can return the visits, amidst all the belt tightening ahead.

Birthday - This was a low-keyed birthday by usual standards but it was spent in Miami, where the weather was good, the fruit and veggie smoothies were popping, the shopping was constant and catching up was mandatory.

The food - Probably explains why I am no slimmer at the end of the year but this was a foodie year for sure. Whether I was cooking it myself in the hills of Tuscany, or in my South Trinidad kitchen, or breaking bread with friends at various foodie haunts at home and abroad, my palate definitely had its fair share of fun this year.

Health and fitness - While I am no slimmer on December 30, it was a year of fitness firsts. The Fitness Challenge pushed me to focus on healthier eating and at year end, I am part of a training group which has tried to kill me but somehow I have managed to survive and more focused on not sabotaging all this hard work with drinks and snacking.

Health issues - personal and otherwise - were probably the main Debbie Downers this year, aside from professional stress - from my nephew being in hospital for a week, to his mum being in hospital for 2 weeks, to my mum being worried about her health, to me having to get tests and now minor surgery - meh meh meh. So it is a good reminder to all to not take your health for granted. Emotionally, it was also a bit of a rollercoaster for me and I had my fair share of things on my mind and on my heart that kept me from being my true self all the time. Each day is a journey - glad for each day so now to work on the 'stuff' day by day.

I am taking 2016 in hand and owning it. It HAS to be better than 2015. Going into this with fresh eyes, a clean slate and an open mind.

Wishing you all a brilliant 2016!!!

Read more »

Avoid the Holiday Rage and Embrace these Holiday Tips Instead

It has been a REALLY long time since I have been here and I apologise. But life happens. I don’t usually do my 2015 round-up this early but I must say, 2015 was not the greatest of the great. Sure there were some awesome moments, but it was not an award-winning year. Still, I am happy to have been here with you.

So it’s the holidays – another ‘winning’ time of year for me. God! I cannot say I loathe holidays but I do hate the way the holidays make people act a little cray cray. The season of love and giving has become the season of road rage, car park rage, Toys ‘r’ Us rage, supermarket rage, department store rage, etc. Everyone is so angry because there is traffic, silly people standing around in stores doing nothing, people picking up the last bottle of Chardonnay you spotted from a mile away and thought – that would be great with Christmas dinner. People are awful this time of year.

While you may get tips for the holidays that include where to shop, when to go and so on, please heed the following tips as well:

Remember the reason for the season. People get themselves worked up over the holidays – worked up over material things, and other nonsense. The cleaning, the cooking, the shopping. The season should be fun and filled with warm memories of great times with friends and family. Don’t lose sight of that.

Appreciate those who work for you to enjoy the holidays. The guys and gals who work really crazy shifts and work long hours in the toy stores, department stores, supermarkets and so on, just so you can get that Elsa doll for little Dana, or that bottle of Flower Bomb for your wife – these people have families and loved ones too. They have homes which they would like to clean and trees they would like to decorate with their kids. Everywhere is busy and crazy and I personally cannot even fathom working in that type of environment without busting a blood vessel, so I appreciate those who do. So be considerate and appreciative when and where you can.

Remember those less fortunate. That grab for that last Elsa doll and the whining that the supermarket does not have the wine you want - pales in comparison to what so many among us lack. The senseless road rage to get to the store to get a parking spot to spend tonnes of money on something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things can often seem so obscene. Invest a bit of that energy to make the holiday a little brighter for someone else and see how good it feels.

Be considerate to those who may not have anyone for the holidays. Some people are alone, plain and simple. Some have lost close loved ones, or have moved away from family – sometimes in a new city or new country. The life of the single man or woman, is not always as fancy free as some make it out to be. It can also be a depressing and lonely time. Seniors, with no close relatives nearby, can have a terrible holiday season. It never hurts to invite someone who may not have the bustling big family and the huge love around them to join in on your celebrations. It can go a really long way.

(Have you seen that awesome Publix commercial? Warms my heart)

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my 2 readers out there. Tomorrow I will do my annual baking and I will spend Christmas Day with the family, including my brother and his munchkins, and other relatives. Be safe. Don’t over-eat. Avoid the rage. Love and blessings.

Read more »

My (Somewhat) New Role as a Big Sister

For those who may not know me, I am a big sister. I have one sibling - a younger brother. We used to fight, make up, watch tv together, go out together, participate in kitchen adventures together, meaning I would cook and he would eat. Being a big sister to him, as annoying and vexing as he can be at times, is a great thing. He is super lucky to have a sister like me. lol

Now, I am a Big Sister again. This time, it is to someone I only met this week and whom I am just getting to know.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am finally participating in the Big Brother/Big Sister Programme, with the Heroes Foundation of Trinidad and Tobago. I am matched with a Little through the Foundation's new Corporate Workplace Mentoring model, which facilitates the recruitment  of Bigs from one organisation and brings the Bigs and Littles together in the workplace, albeit in a non-stifling, casual setting. It can be really hard for corporate types to make time to volunteer. Personally, my work days start when I open my eyes at 3am and they end when I get home some 16 hours later. My weekends can often be a rush, so carving out the time at work is perfect for me. For those of you out there, who want to give back but struggle with being available and committed, this could work for you.

I was soooooo excited about this, I cannot tell you. I have always wanted to participate in this programme after hearing of the heartwarming and fulfilling experiences from others who were part of similar programmes overseas. I was a teenager once, believe it or not, and remember some of the angst, the confusion, the pressure of transitioning from girlhood to womanhood. I had the support of family and at school, we also had the support of our 8-hour mothers - our teachers. But there was nothing quite as powerful as having someone who looked like me, sounded like me and who went through the same trials and joys as I did, reach out and offer words of support and advice - not as a teacher or a priest, but as a friend.

So being a Big Sister is my way of paying it forward to a young woman who is just where I was at that age - trying to find her own space in the world. I am thankful for all the influences I have had in my own life and having never had a little sister, I was really excited about being offered this great opportunity.

So I met my Little Sister this past week and she is so cute. I had asked that I be matched with someone creative, who likes the arts, music, books and the like. Someone not too quiet as I am chatty. She is an amazingly talented artist - she sketched for me and she is really good. She loves to sing and she loves music so in that regard, we are exactly the same. However, I do not like Ariana Grande - she is a teenager so I will give her that. We both like sports but she likes playing sports while I am a mere albeit often obsessed spectator. She likes languages, as do I. She likes to write, but not to read -an odd fact I thought but that is who she is. She wants to see the world with the Maldives being at the top of her list and she was not impressed that I travel regularly but that I had not yet been to her top spot. We learnt some more about each other, realised we have quite a lot in common.

I am not surprised by that because the process to become a Big Sister is a rigorous one. Besides all the screening to ensure you are not a felon, there is a deep dive interview where the coordinators get to REALLY know you so they can match you with the Little most suited to your personality. The Little also undergoes this deep dive because the matching is so important.

In the end, I have a new Little Sister who is smart and lovely and talented and who I am really excited to get to know. My Little and I will be matched for about a year and will see each other twice a month. So far, she seems to like me and I like her, so cheers to that!

All the Big Sisters at work are excited and so are our Littles. Nothing beats volunteering, in a way that is meaningful to you. Whether it is reading to the elderly, helping a young person in life, building homes or helping an NGO with their accounting, their marketing or governance, or in whatever your professional area of expertise may be - there is nothing quite like paying it forward. Looking forward to a great year!

Learn more about the Heroes Foundation
Learn more about the Foundation's BBBS Programme
Follow them on Facebook
Read more about their Corporate Workplace Mentoring

Read more »

That Bruce Jenner Interview

Bruce Jenner took what has been paparazzi fodder and ridicule for months, and made it real and human, in his interview with Diane Sawyer tonight.

I tuned in because this was a story we had not been privy too. While a part of the Kardashian reality debacle for 8 years, Bruce was always a supporting act, and never the star. And yet, as he said, he was the one with the story - the real story; a story that meant something to some people - to those people who try to navigate life with a lot of questions about themselves.

Gender confusion is still something many people grapple with. I grapple with it - not me not understanding whether I am man or woman. I am a woman and I am clear on that. But I never fully understood how others could not really share that sense of comprehension about themselves. There are a lot of things in this world that I do not necessarily agree with or fully understand. But what I do understand and appreciate is the ongoing quest to be happy. Happiness can sometimes seem so far out of reach - you seem to have to stretch just a little bit further to reach that fruit that is just, just out of reach. Living a life where it seems true happiness evades you is not really a life. Contemplating suicide, as he confesses he did, because you are in constant fear of what society will say or do, is not life. So when a guy feels he is happier living the rest of his life as a woman, after 65 years of living what he feels has been a pretence, then I am okay with that. Living half of a life is painful. It is empty. It is callous for us to ask anyone to do that. In the end, all any of us want is to be happy and for our loved ones to be happy - or at least that is what we should want.

I think Diane and Bruce handled the interview beautifully and brought it back really to the human condition, and made it less of a spectacle than has been made of it in the past several months. That people are harmed by others, or harm themselves because of their choice is very sad to me. The images were disturbing but hopefully there is just a little bit more understanding. Glad to see his children have been so supportive as it is clear they were his central concern. I don't agree they all had to be on-camera to prove their love for him. They are dealing with their own issues and fears I am sure. And also, I think the Kardashian girls recognised this was not their moment, but his (or at least I hope they were really being this generous). I appreciated that they were not there to bring it back to that circus level, but he could tell his story in his way, on his time, by himself.

I thought he was very brave and honest. I respect that it is a very private journey and so we did not need to see him as "her". I respect the way in which the 2-hr interview was conducted with it not being a tabloid-esque expose but a deep and meaningful, often touching, sometimes funny perspective from someone trying to come to terms with himself, and the challenges others like him face. I always felt a bit sorry for him on that silly reality show but he is a very brave guy and I give him a lot of respect for that.

I wish him the best.

Read more »

Learning and Owning your Sadness in pursuit of Happiness

I read this article this week and it truly resonated with me.

The Secret of Happiness? Stop Feeling Bad About Being Unhappy.

Now while I make a conscious attempt to be fun and bubbly most of the time, the reality is...wait for it...I cannot and am not high on life every day. Yes, I preach the whole 'life is beautiful' spiel because I truly believe it is and you just need to pick up a newspaper, turn on the news or talk to friends or random people to appreciate the blessings in your own life as compared to the horrors in our world.

But that is just it. The world itself is not a utopia. The world is a dark, grim place where people hate each other so much that they lie, attack each other, kill each other, start wars and the like. Where mothers look at their toddlers while they sleep, eyes filled with love and hearts with gratitude for this small blessing in their lives but still ponder and sometimes feel a bit guilty for bringing them into a world where we have to reaffirm that black lives matter or girls are awesome or gays have rights too, because so many are still ignorant or dismissive of these facts.

And these are global issues, which filter down to your own lives in Trinidad, New York, Nassau or Pretoria because you cannot divorce your personal lives from the psychosis around us.

But getting off the cloud above it all and coming back to the space where you, the mother, wife, sister, daughter, employee, friend, person are living his or her own life right now, at this moment - you have your own personal problems.  We all have problems. Full stop. Punto finale. We wake up each day and we face one thing or another - exhaustion, dead end job, screaming kids, bills, loneliness, cheating spouse, illness, death, fear - the list goes on. Recently, in supporting two friends, I encouraged them both to work through their sadness on their own time. Too many times, we get frustrated with friends and relatives when we feel they are wallowing in the murkiness of their experience for too long. But that's just it - it is their experience, not ours. Where I would have a concentrated, contracted period of darkness, another person may need months to get past the hurt from a similar event. I know a guy whose son died in a freak accident almost 15 years ago, and he just never truly recovered from that until his grandson was born recently. Now the light in his eyes is finally shining again - after 15 years.

We edit life every day - we post photos of happy moments on Instagram or Facebook; photos of cocktail hours with friends or vacations or special moments with significant others. We rarely, if ever, post photos of the darkness - when we sit alone in a room and cry, or we are so depressed we cannot get off the couch. And that's okay because that is our truth. The universal truth though is that pain is just a part of life and we must accept that. To me, pain allows us to cherish the happy moments. They go hand in hand. A world that pushes happiness down our throats, without acknowledging that it is unrealistic to always be on top of our emotions, almost making us feel bad about being unhappy, is a world that creates us to feel badly about ourselves, makes us envy others, makes us edit our narrative to promote an unrealistic image of who we are.

I go into deep, dark places sometimes. Deep, dark places. I edit. It is my truth. I don't have to share it with the world if I don't want to. I don't claim to be the happiest woman alive. I accept that I cannot be 'up' all the time. When I am not 'up', I want others to appreciate that I am human and I have hurt and pain and fear as much as I have all this love to give. I cannot dismiss how I feel because you have placed an expiration date on my emotions. We can be happy. We can be content. But we can also be unhappy and constantly searching for answers to life's many questions. That's okay. We don't dwell on it but we accept it. I accept my truth.

That's it for today

Read more »

Me vs 2015. What's the score after the first quarter?

Cheers to a commendable first quarter!

So the first quarter of the year is almost over and I am reviewing my KPIs.I will admit, it has been a slow start to the year. I looked at my list and while I have not tackled all of them, I have made some inroads into others.

1. Spend more time with the family.
I have been doing a really good job with this. Soon, they will be begging me to go away. I have been getting my mum to try new things/experiences, and just this morning I was greeted by chubby cheeks as the niece and nephew came over. I have been seeing them much more - doing aunty things like taking them to participate in Kiddies' Carnival, taking them for pizza and ice cream, playing 'sling shot' (I enjoyed this more than they did!) and just sitting and watching silly shows that are not on MY Netflix profile but on theirs. I have also been trying to make more time for my friends too. It has been a good start!!

I have more yogurt and fruit, and less ice cream

2. Health and fitness
Well, I have actually put on weight and I don't need to stand on a scale to confirm that. I just know. I know how I have been eating and I know how I have been slacking off at the gym. I know. However, I have taken a bold and almost traumatic step - I have registered for a health and fitness competition at work. It is a Biggest Loser type initiative and while I will confess, the actual prize (though I do not know what it is) is what drew me to it primarily, I know I need something to motivate me. I have found it hard to stay motivated on this for some reason this year. The traumatic part of this is that I am going to have to publicly declare how fat and unfit I am - well, at least to 2 people - the nurse and the dietitian. I neverrrrrr stand on a scale and now I am going to be haunted by that figure and by the fact that others will also know. lol. But over the next 8 weeks I am going to give it a good go, especially as it is a team event and I cannot let my teammates down.

3. Travel
I have not gone anywhere yet but I generally do not travel at this time of the year. But I do have a fair idea where I am going mid-year. This is probably the easiest of all my KPIs and the one that would most likely make anyone who knows me say "duh".

4. Paying it forward
This is an important one. Too often we work, make money, enjoy the fruits of our labour without reflecting on how we got there. On my path to awesomeness, I had an incredible circle of friends and family and people I met along the way, and who have since become gems in my circle. They have all in one way or another been support and comfort through personal and professional milestones. I am nothing without my circle. I also know that even though I may gripe about little things like being tired all the time or being a bit too fat for life, I have been blessed and I do not have any real earth shattering issues. But some young girls start their lives under more challenging economic and social circumstances, and may need someone to be in their circle. So this is why I am on my way to being a Big Sister to a Little Sister in the Big Sister Programme. I am most excited about this. I have always always wanted an opportunity like this and when it presented itself to me at last, I ran with it. I am so happy to be able to write a positive progress report on this KPI and so early in the year!

5. Stretch myself in the kitchen
I love to cook and I cook often, mostly my lunches for work. But I also wanted to try things I have always been less confident about or have never tried before. I tried making croissants once as a teenager and they were like lethal boomerangs. I saw a recipe for pain au chocolat this morning and decided I would try my hand again this weekend. But I have also done some fun things like new flatbreads, stuff involving the dreaded pie crust and been learning how best to cook different kinds and cuts of meats.

Blind baked my pie crust for a lovely spinach and mushroom quiche

6. Blog at least once a week
So far, a resounding success. I have a blog entry for every week of 2015 so far. It is a miracle! It has not been easy, but I have done it! (cue super hero music)

So I know I have to get off Netflix and get a jump on some of the other items on the performance contract and get to work. But so far, hey...doing okay. I will not let 2015 kick my ass.

Read more »

It's so hard to say Goodbye when you only just said Hello

I had a completely different post planned for today. You don't wake up expecting to have to write something like this.

In 2013, I visited Rome - a city I had always wanted to see. One of the most exciting things about that trip was meeting up with my childhood penpal for the first time ever. I wrote about the anticipation here and about the actual meeting here.

When I returned home, we gushed about our trip. Later...she told me she was sick. Cancer - that awful, awful scourge that has covered this world with such a darkness and a mercilessness. She was upbeat, she was positive. We traded messages, I prayed, we made plans. The last conversation she had, she told me she did not have good news. But she was trying her best, she said. She sent me a happy smiley but I am sure she was in so much pain. I sent her one back. The worst thing about having friends so far away is that you cannot hold their hand or hug them. A happy smiley and my thoughts and prayers were all I had to offer. I messaged her after that and got no response. This morning, it dawned on me that I had not checked in on her in a little while. I checked on my last message and saw that it had never been read. I went to her page and I speak no Italian but I did not need to understand the language to understand the story being told through the photos, the messages, the tags.

She was without a doubt the highlight of that trip. When we met, it was like we were friends for years and years, even though we were in a way. She opened her heart to me, her friends, her city. The warmth and beauty of her soul were so genuine in a city that at times felt so cold. It did not matter that I was black or a foreigner or whatever - we were friends when we were 11, and here we were in our 30s - friends then and forever.

I still have the first photo she ever sent me so many years ago in an envelope stamped 'Roma'. She, leaning against a wall, in an oversized sweater, long brown hair over her shoulder, pretty smile. She was happy to make friends from an island so far away and we were so much alike even though we were so different,

She was so young. She was my age. But while I cannot speak to how many lives she touched, she certainly touched mine. I am so glad we got to meet and even though it was a short moment in time, it was a memorable and beautiful moment.Our next rendez-vous was to be in Trinidad. We had talked about this. I looked at the screen this morning and I just cried. She was as good a friend as any I see every day. When I had joys to share, I shared them with her. When I was cold and lonely in London, she always made me laugh. I am heartbroken. We will never make that trip to Cuba together now, but I promise to live each day with hope the way she always told me to. Life is so short and it is not fair.

The hardest part is I did not even know until this morning. That is eating me alive. My heart was heavy and so I checked and checked and checked - going crazy with checking messages, sending messages to her friends, trying to translate messages into English, and forcing myself to think positively when deep down, with every post I tried to translate, every post that was not hers, every throwback photo, I knew otherwise.

Farewell, my lovely, my beautiful friend - both inside and out. Thank you for loving me despite boundaries. Thank you for being the light that you were. Thank you for living a life worthy of the love you have received. Thank you for once again reminding me to Live, Love, Laugh. I will hold you in my heart forever.

Grazie. Sleep well.

Read more »

Working Towards Life's Bonus in 2015!

KPIs - getting things done!

Happy 2015, folks. Wishing my 2.5 readers a wonderful and productive year!

So I have decided that in goal-setting this year, I am taking another approach. A lot of my time is spent with work – other people’s work and other people’s objectives. While each employee has a personal/individual performance contract outlining how he/she aims to support the company’s objectives, they are not really “personal” in the true sense of the word. We rush around all year working long hours, losing sleep, gaining weight, getting sick from it all, in an effort to meet these KPIs, so we can get a good rating and/or bonus at the end of the year. We rush around, exhaust ourselves, make ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually worn out.

This is all well and good (maybe it is not that good), but what about life’s KPIs? What about the bonus we get out of life itself? What about the bigger ME picture? I figured if we put so much effort in outlining specific targets for work, and some of us face those tough performance conversations with our bosses each year, why can’t we do the same for ourselves, our health, our families?

Working on my 2015 Life KPIs
over a cup of coffee

I have therefore formally written down my 2015 life goals, with base, target and stretch outcomes, and with sections so I can do monthly progress check-ins and self-assessments at the mid-year point, and year-end point, just as is done at work. The monthly check-ins are important. At work, budgets may change, or strategies may change and such changes impact one’s ability to deliver on specific objectives, and so you request an amendment where necessary. Life happens and checking in monthly allows you to re-assess the practicality of the goal(s) set and allow you to tweak said goals or eliminate the goal(s) altogether.

I have not set any grandiose objectives – nothing like “bring about world peace” or “lose 100 pounds”. My objectives are quite simple, so don’t think this is some huge scientific undertaking, with massive, complex sounding aims. But there are things I am working towards and know I want to achieve and so the investment of time and effort has to outweigh the time and effort invested in other activities.

Spending more time with the kiddies - on my KPI sheet!

Some are bigger than others. Some are things that are so simple but I keep putting them off and making excuses and still have not been able to tick them off my bucket list. What about you? Maybe you want to spend more time with your children. I know I certainly am adding “spend more quality time with my niece and nephew” to my list. Aunty cannot be tired every weekend! Or make more time for yourself. I am a huge advocate for “ME” time – and feel not many people subscribe to the belief that “ME” time is essential. Maybe you want to save a bit more this year. How will you do it? 

So typing up my Life Performance Contract, jotting down my KPIs, and will print and place on my dresser – a place I see every morning, every evening and as often as my hair needs fixing or my nose needs powdering. I am also going to give a third party a copy – to keep me honest.

So... onward as we work towards life's precious bonus!

Read more »

2014 - Year of the Golden Booty!

The year of the Golden Booty.

This was my response to a Facebook comment for what was one of the most iconic photos from my year - me, booty boasting in gold hot pants. Clearly I am not going to share this image here but it was a memorable shot in time.

The year 2014 was not quite as golden but it was still precious - precious in the sense that there were more ups than downs, and somehow I made it to the end (knock wood).

It was a year of fun, revelations, trials - like any other year. Life is unpredictable and life is fragile. Today you can be on top of the mountain and tomorrow you are slipping down the slope, caught up in an avalanche. Or you can be gone forever. Not trying to be morbid but this is a reality. Too many persons lost loved ones this year - whether it was expected or unexpected. At the top of my year, I lost the second most important woman in my life after my mother - my grandmother. Even though she was in her 90s, the loss was still a hard one for the entire family as she was the anchor that kept us all grounded - the glue that kept us all together. Our lives are beautiful because she was beautiful. She was the best grandmother in the world.

The year was hectic at work and often I felt overwhelmed. Maintaining a blog is a job in itself and each year I look at my total number of blog posts for the year. Gone are the days of 2011 when I had a total of 171 posts for that year, to just 40 for all of 2014. That is not even a blog post a week!

As demanding as my job is, my mantra is to play as hard (and as well) as I work. So my vacation this year - my annual treat to myself - took me and my pink suitcase to Amsterdam, Netherlands; Bruges, Belgium; Lausanne, Switzerland; London, England; and Cardiff, Wales - complete with a side trip to Stratford-on-Avon and a silly ghost walk.

And what a lot of fun was had over the course of that trip. My very first cheese fondue in Lausanne. Chocolate penises in Bruges (yes...you can make anything with chocolate). Friendly reunions in the UK. And a lovely rendez-vous in Amsterdam. Life is unpredictable and fragile - so enjoy it. That is my motto in life.

There were other memorable moments, like seeing John Legend again for the umpteenth time (still yet to see Alicia Keys and Muse in concert - scribbling it down for 2015), staycations, friends, birthdays, Carnival, the World Cup, time with the munchkins of my life - my niece and nephew and so on. Never any regrets - just pushing forward.

I have decided to write down 5 big goals for 2015 - document them somewhere - either here or offline, and try my best to achieve them.

Cheers to 2014 and hello to 2015. I am so looking forward to it already.

Read more »

Life is so Beautiful - Talking Health, Cancer, Dreams and Diem Brown

No matter what it is, you're going to have the bad days, but if you have hope throughout, you won, no matter what the results...Life is so beautiful. - Diem Brown

Diem Brown

Back in the day when people still watched MTV, shows like The Real World, Road Rules and the various RW/RR Challenges were popular and made seemingly spoiled kids household names.

Back in the day I used to watch these shows and do remember Diem Brown most of all because of her battle with cancer. Even when I stopped watching the shows, I kept up with Diem. She started MedGift - a website that provides support pages to those dealing with a medical crisis or illness. She beat cancer, then the cancer came back, she beat it again, it came back.

Diem lost her final battle against cancer today. She was only 32 years old.

There are two things I take away from this news story. The first is timely, as only this morning I went to get a pap smear done. No woman likes doing a pap smear. Pap smears suck. It is generally recommended that you get a pap smear every 3 years. I actually did one last year, but as part of my annual company medical I needed to do one again today. During our discussion about my personal health care management, the doctor commended me for my regular smear tests over the years. He said he speaks to his patients ad nauseum to do their pap smears and most never do. Pap smears can help doctors identify any cervical cell changes (dysplasia), treat them, thus reducing your risk for cervical cancer and the risk for abnormal cell changes (WebMD).

How many of us also do regular breast exams - whether it is self examinations or at the doctor's? While we cannot predict what happens to us most times, listening to the doctor this morning made me aware that even in the areas where we can be proactive, many women are not. This was scary to me.

Life is beautiful! Get tested! Be aware!

Secondly, the quote at the top of this post - a quote from an interview Diem did with People magazine.

Life is so beautiful.

A 32 year old woman is no longer walking this earth. She had so many dreams. She wanted to be a mother. She wanted the house, with the picket fence - all those things we dream about. She will nvere do or have those things now.

What are your dreams and are you living them, or working towards them? Are you scared of taking the next step towards that dream? It is okay to admit it because many of us are in that space or have been in that space. The tragedy is staying in that space.

Life is so beautiful.

Enjoy today and every day. The moments - simple and not so simple. The people in your life, those who love you and cherish you and vice versa. Diem Brown -

She dreamed of experiencing everyday pleasures, like apple picking in the fall, but more than anything, she said, she just wanted to live.

Read more »

Happy Places - Those Moments that Make Everything Better

The wonderful Ray tagged me a while ago to share my Happy Places. I am also stealing her idea of adding a cute word cloud.

Happy Places - those places that are all yours - those moments that evoke warm feelings, feelings of safety, contentment.

As crazy as it sounds, and as much as I hate it - my morning workout. Every morning when that alarm goes off, I move about the house with a sense of dread. I unwillingly put on my gym clothes and lug all my baggage into the car. But once I am in the middle of the workout, my mind is clear, my music is driving me, I am emotionally cleansed - ready to start the day.

Speaking of which - music. Music takes me away from the reality of life. It is my constant companion - in traffic, at the gym, at my desk, while cooking. No matter how tedious an activity may be, or how annoying the world is around me, once my music is on, I take life to that other place - that happy place - where noone else can get in, where it is a population of one.

Coffee time. I mean, like duh. While weekday coffee time is usually punctuated by emails from someone wanting something now now now, or by meetings, real coffee time - where I can sit and leisurely sit with my cup, and maybe a biscotti, cookie or cheese puff - is happy time. It does not matter whether it is in a coffee shop setting where I am surrounded by life - by love, creativity, gossip, solitude - or on the balcony with just my tablet or my Kindle. Coffee time - where the warmth and goodness of ground beans, mixed with hot water, hot milk and honey just makes everything better.

Today's coffee time - Coffee and Toffee Crunch Biscotti - coffee time. Bliss.

My iced green tea is my new happy place as well, particularly in recent days with the intense heat.

Coming home from work and taking off the trappings of a long day. There is nothing quite like getting home after 12 hours at the office, 2 hours in traffic and just taking off all the junk that comes with that, taking a shower and slipping into my favourite plain black maxi dress. Bliss. It is truly amazing how heavy a necklace feels at the end of a work day, how tight and unbearable shoes feel, compared to just wearing a slip dress and stepping through the house with bare feet. It's indescribable really, how that feels.

Cooking also revives my spirit. Something about creating something out of nothing does that. My kitchen is like church! I worship regularly.

Aunty time. Seeing the different moods and reactions of a 4 year old and a 1 year old - extraordinary. From the 4 year old whose little eyes become wide as saucers when you say certain words like trucks, ice cream or pizza, to the 1 year old who is mastering her walking and running skills every day and is discovering new experiences daily.

These are just a few of my happy places. As I said before, maybe my life is not as exciting as others', but it is mine and I am content.

Read more »

Questions and Answers

Question: Have you abandoned your blog?

This was a question posed to me by a loyal reader (one of my 1.5 loyal readers) after clicking on my blog over and over and seeing nothing new since September.

Answer: No, I have not really abandoned it. I like that it is there. I do feel like creativity has abandoned me. I always have the best of intentions and then I open up the blog app, and I am either too tired or too uninspired to fill the white space with words which make sense and which would make anyone want to read them. But I realise that not writing is also not good - it is like stifling that light inside until it is a mere flicker. So I am going to try (yet again) to not give up on the blog for too long.

Question: How come you didn't blog/tweet/Instagram this?

This was a more recent question (someone asked me this yesterday actually). I ran into a friend at a thing my mum and I were at, and later that evening, she messaged me to ask why I had not checked in or taken any photos. Ummm...cause I was just there for the experience. I mean - what did she want to see? She was there!!! lol. I don't think I need to chronicle every outing, every cough for the world. Not only that, I think I have spoken enough about not really being tied down to my phone, so I can leave it in the bag and just be somewhere without it. I must admit, I was really amused by her question - maybe people think I don't have a life because I don't tweet about every little thing I do. Granted, lately I have been sleeping a lot, but there are also birthday parties, baby showers, girls' nights out, countryside drives on the weekend, cooking adventures, property viewings, shopping trips, Mummy/daughter Saturdays, being the best aunty 2 kids can ever want. It may not always be the most exciting but it's my life - and it's mine to share or not share as I choose.

Question: So what's next?

It's Sunday. I have finished all the weekend chores. Sipping on my iced tea and soon going back to bed. Life is good.

Read more »

Van Gogh and the essence of Amsterdam

The Van Gogh Museum certainly eclipsed anything I felt at the Rijksmuseum. I certainly do not pretend to be an art critic or a proper art connoisseur, but I love history and that includes coming face to face with the artists I would have studied along the way. I am always envious of the way Europe has memorialised its past through its museums and ongoing restoration and maintenance of its monuments. This is something sorely lacking in Trinidad and Tobago. I pass the Red House twice a day and always with a bit of annoyance and sadness, as this historical emblem lays prostrate in the middle of a city that has seemingly forgotten about it, in favour of its new, more modern little sister on the Waterfront. This simply cannot be the way we treat our history.

What is even worse in our case as Trinbagonians, do we care to teach this new generation about where we come from? Really? In an SEA/CXC/CAPE driven education system, are we truly taking the time to teach our children where they came from and who they really are? The museums over here are filled with children, who can tell you more about the history of the works of art than you dare to believe. There were school trips and parents bringing their sons and daughters to school them on Van Gogh and his legacy. Quite admirable. 

But this was an entry about my trip and not meant to be social commentary. For that, let's have drinks and discuss.  Getting to Van Gogh was not without incident as this was a super fantastic rainy day and unlike my good fortune at the Rijksmuseum, this time I met a queue as long as the road itself. I looked at the sky in a bit of a panic as I tried to wager with God to just let me get inside before he opened the skies and poured all over Amsterdam. It was not to be. Drop drop drop came the rain and hello...black hair in the rain, not to mention getting a cold I did not want - I was out of there. 

This was how I ended up buying the most expensive umbrella in the universe as the rain just refused to quit and my escape from the rain was soon stuffed with tourists in a similar predicament. With water now gushing through the roof of the tent of the roadside criminal, I mean, roadside vendor, I was left with little choice but to buy what I now refer to as my Collector's Van Gogh umbrella which cost more than the ticket to actually get into the museum to see the real works of Van Gogh. Priceless.

Spent an evening in the Vondelpark as well, beautiful green park in Amsterdam, where we came across a wedding and a free concert featuring a Ukrainian folk band. By this time, the weather had improved and it was crisp and warm, the beautiful flowers beckoned one to stay and one could sit with a danish hijacked from one's breakfast at the hotel and people watch as friends and families went by on foot or by bike.

Amsterdam is of course a city known for the plethora of bicycles. It took me almost the entire trip to get used to bicycle lanes, and I invoked the ire of many a pedal pusher as I was often caught unawares in the bicycle lane. As good as I am at blending in, this bicycle lane thing got me.

I still did catch that cold after the Van Gogh downpour, though but at least it was after my side trip to Belgium. No...this is not in chronological order at the moment.

Read more »

Loving the city that is Amsterdam

I have been finding it hard to blog. I have been busy of course. I am on vacation after all. I have been tired. Tourist life is hard work. I have been lackadaisacal. I really hate blogging off this tablet. Like REALLY! But I will blog while I remember the good times.

So Amsterdam. Amsterdam is not like Rome or Paris. Amsterdam is not a city of monuments. But it is a beautiful city. It is a city infused with a different kind of magic - a magic inherent in its culture and the people who are the catalysts for this culture. There are dozens of museums here in the city. The section of the city where quite a few of the museums can be found is called Museumplein. It would be near impossible to even attempt to do all in the short time I have here so I have earmarked just three - the Van Gogh Museum, the Museum of Modern Art and the Rijksmuseum. Being the tired bunny that I am, I saved the best for first - and so my first day was spent wandering the rooms of the amazing Rijksmuseum. Here one can find Rembrandt's most famous painting - The Night Watch. Surprisingly, the museum was not packed. There was no mind numbing queue as there had been when I had visited the Louvre, Uffizzi and the Prado. I think it being a day of mourning in the Netherlands may have contributed to that, with the city being in a bit of shock during the day. The bodies of the Dutch victims of the tragic MH-17 flight were flown in that day.

I always seem to marry high art with the other end of the cultural spectrum and ended up in the Red Light District later in the evening. I must say, having visited Pigalle in Paris, I knew this was not going to be an eye opening experience. Instead it reminded me how gullible tourists can be. A bunch of "coffee shops" serving everything but good coffee - anything your heart desires when it comes to the herb. Sex shops with tired looking specimens. Yeah...the Red Light District. Next. I did not even waste valuable camera battery time there.

But the company during the day made it a great day. And also saved it from complete sourness after the public transportation system seemed to go beserk on account of the day of mourning. Thanks to a kind Dutch guy named Rick, who helped us foreigners navigate the Dutch transport links so I could get back to my hotel and to some cocktails.

I will probably do an entire blog entry on my hotel but just wanted to say, I love it. Such a great place to come home to in a city that so far has outdone itself in the kindness and warmth departments. A far cry from the experience last year. Thank you, Amsterdam! I knew I made a great choice!

I will check in next time to share my canal cruise , cheese tasting and Belgian adventures with you. Bruges - simply beautiful.

Read more »

Why I love Coffee Shops

After a couple of weeks which were signposted with 2 working weekends, an accidental dump of my MAC eye-shadows in the garbage (the trauma), getting a minor burn during a routine eyebrow wax (double trauma) and cutting a massive chunk of hair by accident while trying to snip my ends (the trifecta of trauma), I just wanted a day off, spent with my laptop to catch up on emails, vacation planning and online shopping. I wanted my coffee shop moment.

When I lived in London, I spent a lot of time in coffee shops. A lot of time. When I head back to the Big Smoke for vacation, I always always end up in a coffee shop. It's a way of life almost. The free wi-fi is also a big draw, of course. Being back home, I have found that my coffee experiences have been either at home, or quick in-and-out moments, aka coffee-to-go moments. But there is something very attractive and comforting about coffee shops.

To me, a great coffee shop is about great coffee, of course, but it is also about the "something" that makes me want to do more than just buy a coffee. Some places - you get in, you get out, with a disposable coffee cup in hand. Other places, you set yourself up in a corner - whether it is at a table in an upright chair with a laptop to work, or on a couch or single armchair, lost in its plushness while sipping on your favourite brew alone, or with a friend or special someone, for 15 minutes or 3 hours.

A Friday morning coffee at Nichossa's Bakery in San Fernando

I completed many projects and assignments inside coffee shops. I would pack my bag, and with laptop in tow, I would find a nice, warm coffee shop and park myself in there for hours, just working. The great thing was, noone bothered you. Noone cared that you were there all day, even if you only ever had one coffee. Of course I never had just one and a coffee would always be had with a biscotti, or a sandwich. But this snug little corner of some random London coffee shop would become my little corner of heaven, where my thoughts flowed and my spirit was lighter than if I had stayed in my cold, small room.

Coffee shops are a great place to work

Coffee shops are also a great place for blogging for the same reasons.

The atmosphere lends itself to bonding with others, or introspection. Coffee shops are like an urban holiday, but instead of beach chairs or countryside cliffs, you have oversized armchairs. Unlike a restaurant or a movie theatre, it is okay and socially acceptable to be alone in a coffee shop. It's a place where people often just come to work, read, get away from the four walled existence of a house or office, and be among other such people. Eating alone in a restaurant = kiss of death. Sipping a coffee alone in the corner of a coffee shop = who cares? You can read, work, people watch - another awesome highlight of coffee shop life, for as long as you want, without the distraction of thinking people are talking about your "aloneness".

Coffee shops are great for the solo life adventurer!

Coffee is also non-committal. It's quick and spontaneous. Dinner is an exercise - making a reservation, getting schedules right etc. Lunch, for me, means tidying up my schedule so I can take an extra 20-30 mins to break bread. Coffee knows no boundaries. A coffee date can be as quick as 10 mins, allowing for a quick check-in, or it can go on for hours, depending on the companion, the atmosphere, the conversation. For the purposes of dating, coffee shops are a great compromise. If the date goes south, it can be over after the first latte - no muss, no fuss. If there are sparks, then you can have another coffee, and maybe a sweet treat as a preamble to planning the next date.

In the same non-committal vein, coffee shops are not demanding, in that, a pair of jeans, a tank top and flip flops are acceptable. There is no dress code or socially acceptable standard when it comes to meeting up at a coffee shop. Here, where there is always an element of "see and be seen", it is nice to not have to fuss just to go spend time with a friend in public. Coffee shops are like that "easy Sunday morning", just anytime, anyday.

I miss this. I miss it. It makes me want to open up my own coffee shop just so others can have that place where they can just get away, while enjoying a brew. I feel like I am going to find a nook somewhere this weekend, just to renew my spirit.

Read more »

21 ways to know me

So I don't usually do these types of things, but I was tagged by the lovely Ray.

1. Are you named after someone? No. I am unique.
2. When was the last time you cried? A couple months ago I think.
3. Do you have kiddos? No. But my nephew and niece are like mine anyway. They have kidnapped my heart.
4. If you were another person, would you be a friend to yourself? Most definitely! I’m fun, crazy, but I am also fiercely loyal to those I let into my world.
5. Do you have a guilty pleasure? Not sure how to answer this. Haagen Dazs and Friday nights, maybe.
6. Do you like your handwriting? I used to when I was younger – before the age of computers and fast-paced corporate life. My handwriting is now like a doctor’s scrawl.
7. What’s your favorite cereal? Cheerios. I buy nothing else. The plain one too – not the sugary one. Sometimes though I add muesli or if I really want to pig out, some Special K or Honey Bunches of Oats!

Cheerios - the best!

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their smile and how they interact with people. You can tell if someone is genuinely warm by the way they smile and greet you. I don’t do fakers/haters.
9. What is your eye color? Chocolate brown. Like the rest of me.
10. Scary movie or happy endings? Meh. I like old-school scary movies like The Omen. New-school scary movies are not scary, so I guess I like happy endings more. However, I like endings that are not cliché so if it is happy for the sake of putting a happy ending, then no.
11. Favorite TV show? I have to pick just one? No way. Game of Thrones, Hannibal. I stuck to two. That’s reasonable. I just want to add that I don't like sit-coms so I don't watch them. I like dramas all the way.

Hugh Dancy as Will Graham in NBC's"Hannibal". Hugh Dancy is my everything! 

12. Summer of Winter? I live in the Caribbean!! I have lived in London and I can tell you though, I don’t hate winter. I LOATHE it. However, being the diva that I am, I love winter fashion, especially being able to wear boots. If I had to say one thing about living in the Caribbean, one cannot wear boots here as a regular thing. I hate that.

Leggings and boots - super sexy, yet casual. Love.

13. Hugs or Kisses? I love both. Who wrote this?
14. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Somewhere in Europe. I don’t want to check the map to see which was furthest!!
15. Do you have any special talents? I roll my eyes like a champion!!! I also sing and I have been told when I really put some effort into it, my writing is tops. My blog is not a real reflection of that.
16. Where were you born? San Fernando, Trinidad.
17. What are your hobbies? Too tired for hobbies. Lol. But okay okay…cooking, writing, travelling.
18. Do you have any pets? Fidel the dog. He is not really MY pet. He is the family dog and I don’t really take ownership. I love dogs but when my dog was dognapped several years ago, it broke my heart. I have never gotten over that so every dog that has followed, I have divorced myself from it.
19. Favorite movie? Again, I cannot choose one. The Godfather, The Lord of the Rings, Gladiator. Will stop at three. I like dramas here too, but will watch a rom-com or chick flick, depending on the quality. I will watch most anything starring Sandra Bullock for example. She is just a natural rom-com actress.
20. What color is your car? Metallic grey.
21. What do you want to be when you grow up? Happy.

Read more »

Missing Airliner - When that Dream Vacation becomes a Nightmare

I have been following with rapt interest, the story of the missing Malaysian airliner, MH370. As a citizen of the world, a girl whose passport is her life, and for whom getting on a plane for a long haul flight at least once a year is a must, this story is particularly disturbing.

CNN Breaking News at 3.30amET, March 15, 2014

Even after September 11, I think many of us take air travel for granted. We plan these amazing vacations, get totally excited about the trip and all that will come with it, or we take those routine trips for work, or weekend getaways, and we just never blink an eye in worry. I can honestly say, I am so at home on a plane that I seldom think of anything bad happening while at high altitude. Admittedly, I do pray before each flight, particularly during takeoff and landing, and ask God to steer the plane safely to my destination - but once locked in to my seat, I take a nap, watch a movie, gape and become totally oblivious to any danger. Now following this story, I will confess, I am now petrified. Never one to refuse a trip off the island, I am now a bit gun-shy.

Where is MH370?
Photo credit: Boston.com

With officials not knowing just what happened with this plane, the situation is even more disturbing. Did it crash? Was it hijacked? How does a plane just disappear? I think what makes it scarier is the fact that we all believe that we are being tracked and monitored while in the air. I mean, if the plane catches fire, not sure what the people on the ground can really do, but there is a certain comfort knowing that people know where you are and what is happening. Now, do we really have that comfort? The speculation, with the theories changing every 5 seconds is a bit alarming. Now it seems as though the plane was deliberately disabled by someone. The pilot? A passenger? Whatever or whomever is responsible, a huge plane is just missing. A plane does not just disappear! But apparently it can!

One moment, you are laughing at a movie scene
and the next, you go missing?

My heart goes out to the families and loved ones of the 239 souls on board. Simply not knowing what happened to the husband you kissed goodbye or the sister, brother or friend you are waiting for at the destination airport has to be the worst possible scenario. It is a sobering reminder that nothing is to be taken for granted. It is easy to think "This won't happen to me", but it can. It can definitely happen to any of us. Anytime. Driving to work may be routine, but it just takes one moment to change your life forever. I am fully aware of the risk at least twice a day once on the killing field that is our highway. Taking that trip of a lifetime has to fall in the same bucket as we now are so sadly reminded. And of course with each event like this, we will see stricter checks pre-travel and at the airport. What's next?

The entire thing is just bizarre, scary and extremely sad, especially for those families. I simply cannot fathom how my family would feel, or how I would feel for that matter, if someone I loved never made it to their destination.

 I read an article today on CNN (I check in fanatically on this story) and the ending really affected me.

The father of a passenger on the missing plane is hoping for an outcome that would sound shocking under normal circumstances. "I hope the plane was hijacked, because then, at least, there is hope," Li from Hebei Province said. He did not give his full name.  Li is waiting at a Beijing hotel with dozens of other passengers' family members awaiting word on the fate of their loved ones.  "But if the worst happened then I will have no meaning in my life. This is my only son," Li said. As he walked away, he bent his head and cried.

God bless them.

Read more »

Popping my Carnival Cherry - Trinidad and Tobago Carnival 2014

My chosen section - War Chant -
from the band, Tribe
Photo credit: Tribe Carnival

The greatest show on earth.

That is how we here in Trinidad and Tobago refer to our annual festival of freedom, fun,creativity and bacchanal - our Carnival. For some, it is merely a long weekend to jet off to another country or spend time with the family in a  less chaotic environment. For others, it is the be all and end all of life. A season to express themselves in any which way - to release, to celebrate, to party, to embellish.

I have always been one of the former - the "it's a long weekend" type. The parties I would do. No interest in the Monday and Tuesday masquerade, with the exception of J'ouvert. But it was on the bucket list - do it once, get it over with. After putting it off year after year, and recognising that I had torn up quite a few calendars by now, and with all the stars in some sort of eerie alignment, I forked over my hard earned money to experience the festival as others have done for years.

It was not easy. I hemmed and hawed for months, threatening to sell the costume I had made a deposit on. With a death in the family, work frustrations and personal issues, I just did not feel the vibes. But I rallied. Costume collection day came and I took my beautiful costume box home, opened it, examined the various pieces of what was to be my get-up on Carnival Tuesday, showed it to the folks, closed the box, went to sleep. Life went on.

I guess though there is something about the 2 days - that excitement, the frenzy, the "anything goes" aura - but only then, when I stepped on to the asphalt, stepped out in the roasting sunshine, did I start to feel anything remotely close to what everyone else was feeling. It did not matter that I did not have spaghetti sized thighs, or that my 6-pack was missing. Noone really cared. The mission: have fun, enjoy life. And we did.

And when the big day came, to swathe my chocolate body in the brilliant white and gold costume, accessorised by Carnival hair and makeup, amping up the everyday pretty, well, it did not matter that the sun was blazing. It was Carnival. My section - War Chant - was one of the few which really worked well on the road and looked good. No bias intended. I am too new to be biased. I also thought Sioux looked incredible, as did a couple sections in Bliss, which I managed to see between the throngs of people.

So was it all cookies and cream? The good and the bad:

• Tribe was one of the bands carded to bypass the Savannah in favour of the new Socadrome. My thoughts as a first timer? I hate waiting - whether it is 2 hours or 5 hours. I hate waiting in the sun. I had to wait at the Socadrome as well. Tribe itself was the keep back cause it was so big. No room for freeing up yourself once you got on the stage cause there were so many people. Not fun. I know this is the normal thing, but it does not mean I have to like it.

In the thick of the Tribe10 crowd

Waiting at the Socadrome

• However, Tribers are well cared for. I was never wanting for something to drink, never felt unsafe, was well fed, had access to critical amenities even though I had them on hand in my pouch. Never underestimate the power of wipes and deodorant! One can never have enough!

• The heat. I love the sun. Love the heat. But that Monday and Tuesday heat was different!! I am now an official spokesperson for Blue Waters, Gatorade and Prolyte. And I am a true believer in makeup primer!!

• Trini women. No matter the shape, the size - our women are fearless!! I was somewhat inspired and I renewed my waning commitment to such fearlessness. I mean, you have to be fearless to wear pasties on DD-sized breasts or to wear a spider panty on a rump that is 5 times the size of mine!

• Freedom without limits? While I celebrate everything Carnival and people's right to express themselves, some things were just too much for my senses. The wining on top of the mosque wall, the church wall and the blatant disrespect of children along the road. This one mother in particular had more restraint than I would have had if that was my child. Carnival does not give you the right to be an even bigger asshole than usual. 

• Fun with the friends and family. All my relatives who came in from abroad for the Carnival were in the same band. My friends were in the same band. We don't always get to see each other so this was as good as it got.

So would I do it again? I would not NOT do it again. I am glad I did it - blisters and all. I had a great time up until stomach cramps derailed the enjoyment on Tuesday. I have not been transformed into a Carnival baby. Not suffering from Carnival tabanca like quite a few of my friends. It was great. It was magical. I recommend it. But I am looking forward to the rest of the year now, including seeing John Legend in concert for the hundredth time now (super fan!!) and annual vacation - always the highlight of my life. Will think about the next Carnival when the time comes. Cheers to 2014 though.

Read more »