Avoid the Holiday Rage and Embrace these Holiday Tips Instead

It has been a REALLY long time since I have been here and I apologise. But life happens. I don’t usually do my 2015 round-up this early but I must say, 2015 was not the greatest of the great. Sure there were some awesome moments, but it was not an award-winning year. Still, I am happy to have been here with you.

So it’s the holidays – another ‘winning’ time of year for me. God! I cannot say I loathe holidays but I do hate the way the holidays make people act a little cray cray. The season of love and giving has become the season of road rage, car park rage, Toys ‘r’ Us rage, supermarket rage, department store rage, etc. Everyone is so angry because there is traffic, silly people standing around in stores doing nothing, people picking up the last bottle of Chardonnay you spotted from a mile away and thought – that would be great with Christmas dinner. People are awful this time of year.

While you may get tips for the holidays that include where to shop, when to go and so on, please heed the following tips as well:

Remember the reason for the season. People get themselves worked up over the holidays – worked up over material things, and other nonsense. The cleaning, the cooking, the shopping. The season should be fun and filled with warm memories of great times with friends and family. Don’t lose sight of that.

Appreciate those who work for you to enjoy the holidays. The guys and gals who work really crazy shifts and work long hours in the toy stores, department stores, supermarkets and so on, just so you can get that Elsa doll for little Dana, or that bottle of Flower Bomb for your wife – these people have families and loved ones too. They have homes which they would like to clean and trees they would like to decorate with their kids. Everywhere is busy and crazy and I personally cannot even fathom working in that type of environment without busting a blood vessel, so I appreciate those who do. So be considerate and appreciative when and where you can.

Remember those less fortunate. That grab for that last Elsa doll and the whining that the supermarket does not have the wine you want - pales in comparison to what so many among us lack. The senseless road rage to get to the store to get a parking spot to spend tonnes of money on something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things can often seem so obscene. Invest a bit of that energy to make the holiday a little brighter for someone else and see how good it feels.

Be considerate to those who may not have anyone for the holidays. Some people are alone, plain and simple. Some have lost close loved ones, or have moved away from family – sometimes in a new city or new country. The life of the single man or woman, is not always as fancy free as some make it out to be. It can also be a depressing and lonely time. Seniors, with no close relatives nearby, can have a terrible holiday season. It never hurts to invite someone who may not have the bustling big family and the huge love around them to join in on your celebrations. It can go a really long way.

(Have you seen that awesome Publix commercial? Warms my heart)

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my 2 readers out there. Tomorrow I will do my annual baking and I will spend Christmas Day with the family, including my brother and his munchkins, and other relatives. Be safe. Don’t over-eat. Avoid the rage. Love and blessings.

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Working Towards Life's Bonus in 2015!

KPIs - getting things done!

Happy 2015, folks. Wishing my 2.5 readers a wonderful and productive year!

So I have decided that in goal-setting this year, I am taking another approach. A lot of my time is spent with work – other people’s work and other people’s objectives. While each employee has a personal/individual performance contract outlining how he/she aims to support the company’s objectives, they are not really “personal” in the true sense of the word. We rush around all year working long hours, losing sleep, gaining weight, getting sick from it all, in an effort to meet these KPIs, so we can get a good rating and/or bonus at the end of the year. We rush around, exhaust ourselves, make ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually worn out.

This is all well and good (maybe it is not that good), but what about life’s KPIs? What about the bonus we get out of life itself? What about the bigger ME picture? I figured if we put so much effort in outlining specific targets for work, and some of us face those tough performance conversations with our bosses each year, why can’t we do the same for ourselves, our health, our families?

Working on my 2015 Life KPIs
over a cup of coffee

I have therefore formally written down my 2015 life goals, with base, target and stretch outcomes, and with sections so I can do monthly progress check-ins and self-assessments at the mid-year point, and year-end point, just as is done at work. The monthly check-ins are important. At work, budgets may change, or strategies may change and such changes impact one’s ability to deliver on specific objectives, and so you request an amendment where necessary. Life happens and checking in monthly allows you to re-assess the practicality of the goal(s) set and allow you to tweak said goals or eliminate the goal(s) altogether.

I have not set any grandiose objectives – nothing like “bring about world peace” or “lose 100 pounds”. My objectives are quite simple, so don’t think this is some huge scientific undertaking, with massive, complex sounding aims. But there are things I am working towards and know I want to achieve and so the investment of time and effort has to outweigh the time and effort invested in other activities.

Spending more time with the kiddies - on my KPI sheet!

Some are bigger than others. Some are things that are so simple but I keep putting them off and making excuses and still have not been able to tick them off my bucket list. What about you? Maybe you want to spend more time with your children. I know I certainly am adding “spend more quality time with my niece and nephew” to my list. Aunty cannot be tired every weekend! Or make more time for yourself. I am a huge advocate for “ME” time – and feel not many people subscribe to the belief that “ME” time is essential. Maybe you want to save a bit more this year. How will you do it? 

So typing up my Life Performance Contract, jotting down my KPIs, and will print and place on my dresser – a place I see every morning, every evening and as often as my hair needs fixing or my nose needs powdering. I am also going to give a third party a copy – to keep me honest.

So... onward as we work towards life's precious bonus!

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These are a few of my favourite Christmas things

Sunday night - baking and singing

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens 
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens 
Brown paper packages tied up with strings 
These are a few of my favorite things.  

On Sunday night, we watched The Sound of Music.

The Sound of Music is my favourite musical of all time so I did not need the lyrics onscreen, but it was fun nonetheless. Singing along to My Favourite Things while whirring away with the hand mixer as we got the Christmas cakes going made me reflect on my favourite Christmas things.

Favourite Christmas movie
If you want the snarky version of this, as I am a snarky kind of girl, then I will say Bad Santa. But if you want warm and fuzzy, then it is hands down Love Actually. They need to show that on tv every Christmas Eve, or people need to just own it on DVD for the same purpose.

Favourite Christmas memory 
I would have to go back to childhood for this, but I loved Christmas as a child. Waking up on Christmas morning to a house that was filled with the smell of fresh bread and ham and cakes, and eager to open the presents under the tree was always my favourite part of the day. Helping mummy make the cakes was always a highlight as well and to this day, I am still the designated baker for the holidays, with my skills honed over the years in the warm kitchen.

Favourite Christmas food
Christmas is anti-diet. From the Christmas breakfast, to the huge family gatherings defined by mounds of food, to the desserts and treats, food is at the centre of it all. My one Christmas away from home was a disaster, because besides being at death’s door (okay – a slight exaggeration), the lunch of brussel sprouts and beef did not win me over.

Pastelles - a Christmas staple in Trinidad and Tobago
Photo credit: Caribbeanpot

Typically, at home, our Christmas lunch consists of veggie rice, with fresh salad, potato salad, some type of casserole – usually a Shepherd’s pie, pastelles, baked pork, stewed pork, turkey, ham and stewed pigeon peas. Not to mention, the drinks and the sweets. Good God! Just typing that made me unfasten my pants. Sharing it all with family makes the weight gain acceptable.


Favourite Christmas song
Being a shower/car pop star, I love singing Christmas songs, and it is hard to choose just one so I will choose two. O Holy Night is my favourite carol, while Lennox Gray's Around my Christmas Tree/Laughing Children - a local classic - was always my favourite Christmas song as a child. It came on in a store this weekend and I sang the entire thing without a care for who was listening, reliving my girlhood Christmases, practising that song in school for Christmas parties and class concerts. Hearing actual Christmas music during a season that is beaten down by the immense anticipation for Carnival warmed my icy heart.


What am I most looking forward to this Christmas as a cynical adult?

• Spending time with the family, particularly the littlest members - my niece and nephew
• Getting rest - lots of sleep ahead
• Seeing The Hobbit on Boxing Day
• Finish reading my latest book
• Visiting friends
• Eating (in moderation??)

Merry Christmas everyone. Be safe. Be well. Be blessed.

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Soul Food

When my aunt died several years ago, I fell off an 11-month vegetarian wagon during the whole grieving/funeral process. The frenzy of it all made eating the way I had gotten used to very difficult and inconvenient, and so during the repass when there was not much else on offer, I had some chicken and my career as a medically-prescribed vegetarian was over.

When my grandmother died last week, it was just as harrowing but cooking was necessary - both as a distraction from the grief and as a means to avoid falling into a fast food trap during the same post-loss frenzy. With the exception of too many finger sandwiches after the funeral yesterday, after a long day, and a long week, I managed to stick to home cooked, fresh and healthy meals and a lot of fresh fruit.

I especially loved my lean chicken and mushroom meatballs, which were nicely seasoned, baked and then cooked in fresh tomato sauce (home made - I am done with store bought sauce), with lima beans. I have some leftover for lunch tomorrow when I return to work.

My gran was amazing in so many ways and has left a huge void in our family unit. She taught us so much, and we are so awesome in part because of the huge role she played in our lives. She was, among other things, a great cook and her house was a central hub for family get togethers and soul-food. I am glad I can at least follow in her footsteps in the kitchen and maybe start my own foodie traditions. She will be missed forever.

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The Thing about Christmas...

The thing about Christmas is that it really is for kids. I have found myself being less grouchy now that my nephew is at an age where he is aware of the holiday and can be fully engaged in it. He is such a bubbly, energetic child and he defrosts aunty's chilly heart with his cuteness.

So yes, I was in the mall this weekend, doing Christmas shopping. We had a nice aunty/nephew day yesterday and I will actually be wrapping gifts tonight. Do you know how long it has been since I wrapped a present? I would normally just buy a gift bag and stuff whatever the object of desire was in that. Or just take the victims to choose their gift and let them take it once paid for. Yes. I have come a long way! Lol

The thing about Christmas is that a lot of my fellow marketers like to pigeonhole it as a time for couples, and this works, so the singles usually feel like junk - grumpy in other cases. I am over that now that I am cuter and wiser, but it is a very real malaise for many.

The thing about Christmas is that we have made it a retail monster when it should be about the people. I don't expect presents and hardly ever ask for or get any. I like that it coaxes my relatives from around the world to come home so I can get excited about seeing them and spending time with them. That is the part that negates all the hard work of my fellow marketers. The warm love and rambunction of family is priceless. 

The thing about Christmas is that it is a 5-day weekend for me. Well, 5.5 day weekend. That is the best gift of them all.

Merry Christmas to my 2.5 readers and your loved ones. Give thanks and be happy. That is what it is all about.

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Reminders and Lessons from this week

I was reminded that coffee is a mask used to cover deeper problems and all coffee addiction jokes aside, I need to start listening to my body when it screams "I am tired".

After having weirdo things happen to my body, and banning coffee from my morning breakfasts for a few days, I was reminded that I could not deny that my fatigue was not normal.

I  was not reminded, but learnt that IV fluid bags take a long, long time to empty into one's body. This is especially not good when one is hungry and there is nothing at all to eat. I learnt this from having said bag attached to my arm - not a fun lesson.

I was reminded that sick days were invented for a reason. I must exercise this franchise more often when it is necessary.

I was reminded that I am not close to being invincible. I have fears like anyone else.

I was reminded that the internet is not always your friend when you start playing doctor and trying to diagnose yourself.

I was reminded that a second opinion really contributes to peace of mind.

I learnt that I have in fact lost 13 pounds. This was a great lesson cause I had banned myself from getting on the scale again until I felt for sure that weight loss was happening. I did not think anything was happening and when the doctor forced me to get on that evil device this morning, I cringed before I looked down. But small yaaay....13 gone, 500 to go!!

I was reminded that small victories often justify small treats. Very small. Don't judge me. I had a tough week!

Hazelnut Mocha cupcake. So cute. So yummy.

I was reminded that life is more than the day-to-day routine and hustle. It is soooo fragile and so much more than we make it each day. I was reminded that I have to take better care of myself and to embrace life more than I do. I need reminding of this often.

I was reminded that I am loved and that I love in return. Thanks for all the well wishes.

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Zen: That's Where I am at

Even my dog Fidel found the blazing sun too much

So in case you missed the memo, I am not in London at the moment, but in South Trinidad. Back home. It has been a very relaxing first week, with me spending time with friends and family, especially my nephew who was fighting tooth and nail to not know this stranger in the green t-shirt. But by the end of the weekend, he was my buddy, and we were playing and eating yogurt. He also has his aunt's love for dogs, and we sat in the porch together, watching the dogs play.

It has also been a gastronomic triumph, as I have been going through my "What I Must Have" food list like a true champion. All the Trini food I have missed out on over the past 7 months.

It is hot here in the Caribbean. I don't mean let's go play football in the savannah hot. I mean let's take 4 or more showers and drink loads of water, while sitting in the a/c all day hot. Over the weekend I consciously made the decision to go out in the early evening, rather than during the day, to beat the heat. And it is not a case of Trini in London so she cyah take sun now either. The place is just damn hot! Not complaining though - it has its perks. One word - BEACH! I hope this blazing heat holds for when I jet across to Tobago for some much desired beach rest. However, with my luck, I will be sitting on the beach with an umbrella - and I don't mean a beach umbrella either.

p.s. I just looked outside and it is raining. This is great for today but let's not make this a trend!

It has been good to sleep in my own bed, in my own room with my own tv - no football blaring all day. Spending time with the 'rents and catching up with friends, cause I have missed so much. Great to not have to take public transport - huge deal for me, as I jump in the car and zoom around the countryside - just me and my music and my singing. No school work. No nonsense. I am just very much in a state of zen.

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Ghost of Christmas Past

The creche at Southwark Cathedral

Christmas has come and gone. Something else which was almost gone, has come back. My cold, which was in remission, seems to be back with a vengeance this morning. I mostly sat indoors the past week, with the electric heater whirring so going out yesterday into sub-zero temperatures, and then sitting in Southwark Cathedral for 90 mins and more - a church that was deathly cold - well, I did not sleep very well at all last night. I had the shakes, a fever and my sinuses were out of control. It was horrible. I took a couple cold pills - in the drowsy formula - so you can imagine how I felt when I finally opened my eyes at 11am. Like someone rolled me down a hill and then stomped on me. Good times!

The day itself was alright. The choral service at Southwark was just lovely, albeit freezing. I was bundled up in my jacket, scarf, hat etc, but the message was timely.

Spent the rest of the day with my cousin's family. I don't want to comment too much on it but needless to say I missed my family back home. I managed to have a brief, halting video call with them all as they sat at my brother's house for Christmas dinner - my mum, my brother, my aunt and cousins. A rollickin' happy bunch. So different to the vibe at lunch here. The kids had a bumper Christmas though - so many gifts. When I was a kid, I was happy to get one present from my parents. They had bags and bags of presents, including a ticket to go one of the X-Factor tour shows. Lucky buggers. I also called my dad who was not feeling well and thus stayed behind - with the ham. lol. I know my dad too well.

I had told my cousin I would cook today but he insisted on doing it. Dude really thinks he is the world's best chef. He cannot say I have not offered to help, but needless to say, nothing on the menu looks appealling and I will have to cook for myself. Trying to think of doing it in a way that is not offensive but I have not had a really good Christmas type meal yet,  and after all my shopping on Christmas Eve, that meal will indeed happen!! Today!

Hope everyone had a great day yesterday. I may check out the sales online in a minute, after morning coffee. I should also check out my textbooks. lol.

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