Find God's Match For You

Christian love. All kinda love.

So when I see this Christian Mingle ad, I always have a laugh. The people who came up with this marketing campaign are pretty bold, pretty out there. To confidently promote this online dating service for Christians, with the tagline – Find God’s match for you – well, that takes some balls.

It always conjures up this image of God relaxing on the patio, in his robe and warm slippers, with a cappuccino, maybe a croissant or a Danish, maybe a cigar (hey, they started it), with his iPad or Galaxy Tab, going through his list of Christians looking for love and matching Joe with Jill, Brad with Melanie – all before he gets to the real work of blessing people, curing the sick, etc.

I mean – seriously, people. Find God’s match for you? Who came up with this? Who approved this marketing campaign?

I am curious as to the algorithm that matches the ones seeking love on this site. I mean, did an Archbishop somewhere get a memo from God which he then shared with IT developers? What if the love-seeker is not a Christian? Does the person get zapped while trying to sign up?

God's message in your inbox?

I have absolutely no problem with a niche-specific dating site – black singles, gay singles, Caribbean singles, etc. You want what you want, and if you can trim the fat and get to the meat of the matter, right down to brass tax, right down to your target niche, whether it is a black guy, Caribbean girl or Christian single, then great. However, I just found the advertising for this to be a bit ludicrous. Find God’s match for you. I wonder if they got God’s okay to use his name in these ads! It’s almost as stupid as God’s and Jesus’ Facebook and Twitter profiles. Who does these things?

But more importantly, and for all the non-Christian minglers out there - does this mean that Match and e-Harmony are the other guy’s sites? I mean, as if dating was not traumatic enough!

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Ladies - Are you suffering from the "It All Belongs to Me" Dilemma?

So I am under self-imposed exile this weekend - from the universe. It's been a harrowing week and I am also a bit social-life weary so made the conscious decision to just stay at home ALL weekend and not do anything. I have been excelling at this.

So it has been just me, my book, my laptop and my DVD player, the occasional muffin, a tempting Magnum ice cream bar in the freezer, and my pillow,  and it's been awesome.

And I have been listening to some tunes, like this one.





Now, I love this song. These ladies are so talented and so gorgeous and I love when they collaborate. Monica is a star, believe it. Love her voice, her sass.

However, the song has me a bit perplexed. lol.

In the first place, the song is in a nutshell asking the guy - the now ex - to leave all the stuff bought for him during the relationship. The car, the bling, the macbook. I mean...why buy him this in the first place? And there is no mention of what he has bought for the chick. None. Zero. Nil. Not even a pair of underwear!

Which brings me to my next point -

All you do is talk
Never knew you to do nothing else
You ain't good for nothing baby

So WHY are you with this no-profit, no-contribution (emotional, financial or otherwise) man? And on top of that, you STILL buying him the car and the Macbook!! You an ass!

Am I losing it here? Is it just me or is this woman a damn idiot too? I mean, if I were the man I would say, "Baby, I worked for this Macbook. I chain up your head so bad that you still loved me and bought me stuff even though I was a good for nothing!"

Ladies, ladies - don't do this! Just don't do it. This is why being single can sometimes be edifying and liberating and just plain better! lol.

No sympathy from me, ladies. But the song is still beautifully done.

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Prince Charming: The 2012 Version

Yes. I have never proclaimed my love or changed my Facebook relationship status to identify my love, but I think it might be time to do so. It's great when you finally find something real and reliable - trustworthy and delivering performance every single time. So I felt I should show a little appreciation and show him off for the first time. You guys are so lucky.

My faithful Prince Charming - the slow cooker, or crock pot

Isn't he fantastic looking!? Yes. My slow cooker is my Prince Charming. Not only is it trustworthy but when I am tired and need to whip up something delicious and nutritious without slaving over a hot stove for hours, he answers the call. I just dash stuff his way, turn him on and he does all the work, so that all I need to do after a nap is get a plate and dish it out. So at 6am, I dragged myself off the bed and popped everything in, and came back to bed where you can still find me. What man you know does this??

This morning I am doing burritos again for the work lunch for the week. I did them last week but with beef and they were awesome. This week - carnitas burritos! Today, I am doing some pulled pork and my Prince is doing his thing in the kitchen. I have already done the rice, and I am also making the wraps from scratch since I could not find any pre-made wraps in Hi-Lo yesterday. I am also wrapping baby gifts, for a birthday party I have to go to later this afternoon, and going over a presentation on reputation risk intelligence I am doing over the next 3 days at work. See how varied my life is? Pork burritos, baby gifts and high falutin sounding corporate presentations? I am the perfect 2012 Princess!!

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Why I'm a Great Catch

I was having a chat with a friend of the male variety last night, over some hummus (I love that I can just go to Tesco and buy any variety I want without having to make it myself), and he asked the million dollar question: Why are you single? Well, buddy, if I could give you an answer, I would have. I can probably say maybe it's my bad habit of rolling my eyes at men who try to impress me, or the fact that I don't tolerate nonsense, or the fact that I don't like bald or balding men which seems to be the norm here (snicker). But he did point out why I was a great catch, in his own funny "man" way.

The obvious - I'm cute. I won't go on too much about this for fear of being called vain. But I am.

Again, not going to expound but I am also smart and hella funny.

I love sports. I do. I love watching sports and going to watch sports. During the World Cup, if you are not a football fan, you are persona non grata in my life. Yes, I can appreciate the male form, but I also do appreciate the game. However, there has to be some balance as well. While I complain about my cousin watching football for hours on end, this is only because it interrupted productive student life. I also find something very pathetic about anyone who will sit for hours and hours and hours watching sports, or tv in general, when life is happening around them. It's the same way I feel about people married to their smartphones, Twitter etc. Go out...do something. But anyway, guys like a woman who not only loves sports but can appreciate THEIR love for sports. So when they are watching basketball or football, the woman understands why they don't want to snuggle at that exact moment. lol.

One of my many masterpieces

I'm a great cook. I love how he said this as he munched on store bought hummus. lol. There is immense truth in the saying, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I have spun my magic web around the fragile consciousness of male homosapiens just by twirling my pot spoon. I need to take greater advantage of this magic power.

I appreciate other people's space. I love having my "me" time and in the same vein, I appreciate the other person's space as well. I have seen too many girlfriends who do not give a guy a chance to breathe - always calling, nagging. My cousin had one of his typical boys' nights here and one of the girlfriends came over - uninvited. Why, honey? Don't you see there are only men here? What was even more annoying, somehow I was left to "babysit" this twit when all I wanted to do was watch my chick flick in the other room. By myself. Clinginess, on either side, is never cute.

To add to the above, I have my own interests and I am independent. Some men say they want an independent woman and then cannot deal with all that entails, but my friend pointed out that generally, the fact that I have my built a life and I am not obviously desperate to find a man is apparently attractive. My female relatives, in their sweet, old school way, would have me believe that marriage is the answer to all my problems. Getting a Master's degree and moving along in my chosen field, buying my own house, travelling - not so important to them. lol.

I am the anti-hoochie mama. Sure, I get upset and angry about stuff, but you will never see me doing a "Maury" in public or even in private. You know what a Maury is - a crazed woman who starts cussing, scratching, throwing things, having to be physically restrained from physically hurting the man. No. Or doing a Lifetime - the woman who starts crying and acting hysterical for no good reason. Yeah. That's not me. I stay pretty calm during disagreements. I think that is scarier - sitting and smiling at them, because then they go to bed with one eye open. lol. But seriously, I have crossed the threshold of teenaged behaviour. I believe there are definitely more grown-up ways of facing conflict. Yet I have seen women in my age bracket and older, who just simply act a fool, and then wonder, why the man vex!!!

All this however does not really help me at this point. But the hummus was amazing. I love hummus. Now, that's a great catch! The dude who can bring me hummus! lol.

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