I am NOT the Biggest Loser

I fell in love with mixed greens and
did a lot of fresh veggies (that's not canned corn, friends)
and paired them with regular stuff like beans
and lean meats/chicken

The Biggest Loser Challenge at work ended a couple weeks ago. I did not win the prize. But I guess the real victory was getting off the couch and getting off the doughnuts. The competition was super fierce. There were people taking 3 spin classes a day and stuff like that, and eating just a banana for breakfast, with water for the rest of the day.

In the end I lost 11.5 lbs through hard work, sweat and a healthy diet.

I did not starve myself. I always had a full breakfast, with 2 egg whites, a roll and a smoothie...okay okay, and coffee. I had a fresh lunch and would keep dinner as light as possible, without starving myself.

I did not go to the gym 3 times a day. I went once a day and did what my body could manage in the time I have before work.

I cut out snacking, consumed more fruits and vegetables, more raw foods.

I challenged myself to make salads that were fun and exciting, because I have always had a love/hate relationship with salads.

I did not get as much sleep as I should have, and this has always been my downfall, but I still felt better.

I did it for myself really - to win was always a goal as well but really, I knew it was necessary. So cheers!

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When being the biggest loser is a good thing!

Our homemade ice cream, topped with cookie bits

Last night, part of my aunty duties involved spending time in the kitchen, forging relationships over a pail of homemade ice cream. The excitement on the face of a 4yr old over an electric ice cream mixer and seeing a milky concoction morph into smooth textured goodness was priceless. What is not so priceless is that I have been dipping into the tub of ice cream all day!

I mentioned that one of my goals for 2015 was around health and fitness, and that I would be participating in a health and fitness challenge at work. Kind of like The Biggest Loser, but without Jillian Michaels, excessive exercising and the cameras, 

So I registered officially this week, so yes, this is really happening!!!

But it was a very traumatic experience to say the least. While I knew I had put on (more) weight, seeing the numbers really affected me deeply. And not just the gross number of pounds flash before your eyes, but on the nifty self-esteem killing device known as the Body Composition Monitor and Scale, you get your body fat percentage, body mass index (BMI) and skeletal muscle among other mind numbing stats. It was a wake up call for sure. Sharing this information with a third party did not help minimise my discomfort. I will admit I was ready to jump in front of a truck after that. lol.

The only churning will be me churning away in the gym

So over the next 8 weeks, we will be working within teams, with the dietitian, and with the fitness schedule to bring these numbers down in a healthy way. There is no expectation that anyone will look like Beyonce after 8 weeks, but the hope is that we will adopt healthier habits and make use of the resources available to us. I am very competitive and so the competition element will go a long way in keeping me honest and motivated. I will admit, a bit of depression has set in over the past few weeks, and this has been my main enabler as I am a comfort eater. I know it has to be more about my health and wellness, etc, but kicking ass is a great motivator as well. I have a target I am working with and so there will be no more aunty/kiddies ice cream sessions. 

This weekend is a tough one - a 5-day weekend with hot cross buns, and get togethers, and already, 2 days of feeling ill and tired. But I gave myself today to rest, regain my strength and not care. That is the lie I told myself every time I opened the freezer today. But it's game on now. Wish me luck!

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Me vs 2015. What's the score after the first quarter?

Cheers to a commendable first quarter!

So the first quarter of the year is almost over and I am reviewing my KPIs.I will admit, it has been a slow start to the year. I looked at my list and while I have not tackled all of them, I have made some inroads into others.

1. Spend more time with the family.
I have been doing a really good job with this. Soon, they will be begging me to go away. I have been getting my mum to try new things/experiences, and just this morning I was greeted by chubby cheeks as the niece and nephew came over. I have been seeing them much more - doing aunty things like taking them to participate in Kiddies' Carnival, taking them for pizza and ice cream, playing 'sling shot' (I enjoyed this more than they did!) and just sitting and watching silly shows that are not on MY Netflix profile but on theirs. I have also been trying to make more time for my friends too. It has been a good start!!

I have more yogurt and fruit, and less ice cream

2. Health and fitness
Well, I have actually put on weight and I don't need to stand on a scale to confirm that. I just know. I know how I have been eating and I know how I have been slacking off at the gym. I know. However, I have taken a bold and almost traumatic step - I have registered for a health and fitness competition at work. It is a Biggest Loser type initiative and while I will confess, the actual prize (though I do not know what it is) is what drew me to it primarily, I know I need something to motivate me. I have found it hard to stay motivated on this for some reason this year. The traumatic part of this is that I am going to have to publicly declare how fat and unfit I am - well, at least to 2 people - the nurse and the dietitian. I neverrrrrr stand on a scale and now I am going to be haunted by that figure and by the fact that others will also know. lol. But over the next 8 weeks I am going to give it a good go, especially as it is a team event and I cannot let my teammates down.

3. Travel
I have not gone anywhere yet but I generally do not travel at this time of the year. But I do have a fair idea where I am going mid-year. This is probably the easiest of all my KPIs and the one that would most likely make anyone who knows me say "duh".

4. Paying it forward
This is an important one. Too often we work, make money, enjoy the fruits of our labour without reflecting on how we got there. On my path to awesomeness, I had an incredible circle of friends and family and people I met along the way, and who have since become gems in my circle. They have all in one way or another been support and comfort through personal and professional milestones. I am nothing without my circle. I also know that even though I may gripe about little things like being tired all the time or being a bit too fat for life, I have been blessed and I do not have any real earth shattering issues. But some young girls start their lives under more challenging economic and social circumstances, and may need someone to be in their circle. So this is why I am on my way to being a Big Sister to a Little Sister in the Big Sister Programme. I am most excited about this. I have always always wanted an opportunity like this and when it presented itself to me at last, I ran with it. I am so happy to be able to write a positive progress report on this KPI and so early in the year!

5. Stretch myself in the kitchen
I love to cook and I cook often, mostly my lunches for work. But I also wanted to try things I have always been less confident about or have never tried before. I tried making croissants once as a teenager and they were like lethal boomerangs. I saw a recipe for pain au chocolat this morning and decided I would try my hand again this weekend. But I have also done some fun things like new flatbreads, stuff involving the dreaded pie crust and been learning how best to cook different kinds and cuts of meats.

Blind baked my pie crust for a lovely spinach and mushroom quiche

6. Blog at least once a week
So far, a resounding success. I have a blog entry for every week of 2015 so far. It is a miracle! It has not been easy, but I have done it! (cue super hero music)

So I know I have to get off Netflix and get a jump on some of the other items on the performance contract and get to work. But so far, hey...doing okay. I will not let 2015 kick my ass.

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Cue Rocky Music - This Week's Gladiator Moments

While my days are often challenging, as part of my 2015 mission to look for the positives, here are the winning moments from this week:

Did my 4.19 km with no regrets

Not passing out on my return to the Queen's Park Savannah
I hate running. Like seriously hate it. I am not a fan of working out on the whole but being able to tell my doctor this morning that I had made a small dent in the weight gain he so scoldingly jotted down in my file last year, was a bit of a victory.

Before this week, my return to fitness was limited to the gym - the treadmill primarily. My mission was to build up some level of endurance in the privacy of the gym before going out in public and embarrassing myself. lol. I had put it off long enough though and after hitting the sack early on Sunday, I donned my battle gear, with some new fat busting tunes on the MP3 player, and hit the asphalt dark and early on Monday morning - determined.

The first day was rough, I will not lie. There is an old guy who was committed to showing me that he was much fitter than I was. I was committed to not letting this old man pass me. And so we went, but the cramps near Kapok did me in and as he passed me, I could see the glee and the smirk on his face as he claimed victory. By Wednesday though, even though physically exhausted, I managed to get back into a rhythm and finished strong.

(cue Rocky music)

Being generally healthy this week
My eating habits are a daily struggle and I treat them as such. I generally do eat well. My meals themselves are top notch for keeping it healthy. My problem has always been snacking. I bought 2 heaps of these lovely portugals both for juicing purposes as well as for snacking purposes. I did have brownies during the week and a cupcake today but this is victory nonetheless.

They sold me the sweetest portugals ever! Major win!

My happy corner at work
Cue free flowers and my happy corner on my desk was a major win. One has to do what one can to keep the smurfiness flowing, so the flowers were a welcome addition to my snack/tea/aromatherapy nook.

My little animals, my honey and my tea, my clusters, my water, lotions, nail polish. Perfect!

A perfect cafe mocha
I love coffee. I love chocolate. I love when coffee and chocolate come together in a perfect union. Unfortunately, this perfect union is hard to find, mainly because most times when I order a cafe mocha, I get a cup of hot, sickeningly sweet mess. Then I have to add water, dilute the espresso shots, negate the point of the drink in the first place. But Crust2Crumb gets a special award for a perfectly drinkable mocha today, to go with the awesome red velvet cupcake. This is why they are my new to-go place for coffee when I am on my side of the island.

Awesome Red Velvet cupcake to go with my perfect mocha

Saying hello to Gillian Anderson and Jamie Dornan in The Fall
So I continue this Netflix lethargy on lazy evenings, and I decided to try The Fall - a BBC crime drama series with Scully and the guy who will play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey (never read the book(s) and have zero interest generally). I love love love Gillian Anderson and she is so good in this. The perfect Ice Queen. Strong, commanding, but still beautiful and feminine.

Gillian Anderson as Stella Gibson in BBC's The Fall

I am a bit hooked though not to the extent that I am hooked on Downton Abbey!

Simple victories this week - I don't ask for much! Hoping next week will be even better.

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Life is so Beautiful - Talking Health, Cancer, Dreams and Diem Brown

No matter what it is, you're going to have the bad days, but if you have hope throughout, you won, no matter what the results...Life is so beautiful. - Diem Brown

Diem Brown

Back in the day when people still watched MTV, shows like The Real World, Road Rules and the various RW/RR Challenges were popular and made seemingly spoiled kids household names.

Back in the day I used to watch these shows and do remember Diem Brown most of all because of her battle with cancer. Even when I stopped watching the shows, I kept up with Diem. She started MedGift - a website that provides support pages to those dealing with a medical crisis or illness. She beat cancer, then the cancer came back, she beat it again, it came back.

Diem lost her final battle against cancer today. She was only 32 years old.

There are two things I take away from this news story. The first is timely, as only this morning I went to get a pap smear done. No woman likes doing a pap smear. Pap smears suck. It is generally recommended that you get a pap smear every 3 years. I actually did one last year, but as part of my annual company medical I needed to do one again today. During our discussion about my personal health care management, the doctor commended me for my regular smear tests over the years. He said he speaks to his patients ad nauseum to do their pap smears and most never do. Pap smears can help doctors identify any cervical cell changes (dysplasia), treat them, thus reducing your risk for cervical cancer and the risk for abnormal cell changes (WebMD).

How many of us also do regular breast exams - whether it is self examinations or at the doctor's? While we cannot predict what happens to us most times, listening to the doctor this morning made me aware that even in the areas where we can be proactive, many women are not. This was scary to me.

Life is beautiful! Get tested! Be aware!

Secondly, the quote at the top of this post - a quote from an interview Diem did with People magazine.

Life is so beautiful.

A 32 year old woman is no longer walking this earth. She had so many dreams. She wanted to be a mother. She wanted the house, with the picket fence - all those things we dream about. She will nvere do or have those things now.

What are your dreams and are you living them, or working towards them? Are you scared of taking the next step towards that dream? It is okay to admit it because many of us are in that space or have been in that space. The tragedy is staying in that space.

Life is so beautiful.

Enjoy today and every day. The moments - simple and not so simple. The people in your life, those who love you and cherish you and vice versa. Diem Brown -

She dreamed of experiencing everyday pleasures, like apple picking in the fall, but more than anything, she said, she just wanted to live.

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This is what Detox looks like

Every year after the holidays, I do a 2-week detox. Every year it sucks. This year it seems to suck even more. This year I took my usual detox - no dairy, no meat/chicken, no alcohol, no coffee - to another level and eliminated all things flour. Ugh. I am almost at the end of Week 1. Surviving, with the occasional cold sweat in the middle of the night while dreaming of honey BBQ chicken or Aioli's pork loin or a glass of wine. The work days are hardest especially with no coffee. But it has not been completely bad. I have been having a lot of good stuff.

Breakfast in the last week was quinoa egg scramble - quinoa with roasted red peppers, tomatoes, spinach, scrambled with eggs, salt and black pepper, and then topped with fresh spinach. Pretty nice.

Very delicious. Pretty awesome breakfast I must say

During the day, lots of wheatgrass, lots of water, lots of green tea.

Really nice...

It's not coffee though

Snack of choice - watermelon. This is a daily thing, even when not detoxing. I love watermelon. Like...seriously. I also snacked on cucumbers.

My Independence Square fruit guy always has my melon wrapped and waiting every morning

Tonight, I was REALLY craving burgers, even though I very rarely eat burgers, but the meat craving was real. Not yielding to temptation, I instead made spicy quinoa and lentil burgers. They are MEGA good!! What's in these? Lentils, seasoned with salt, black pepper, stir fried garlic, onions, celery, parsley, pimento, chilli peppers, tomatoes, quinoa, tomato pesto, one egg, olive oil. No breadcrumbs.

Just before they went into the oven. No breadcrumbs in these.
Used a mould to get them in shape.

After all the Christmas food and drink, I felt so ill, and after one week of this suicide mission detox, I feel a whole lot better. One week down, one more to go!

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Morning Wake Up Call aka "No Coffee" Smoothie

Nu Wave Party Mixer

I had a wannabe Magic Bullet that I used to make my smoothies but it just never did the job, leaving my blueberries and other fruit chunky and thus, often making my smoothies a dismal failure. Now with my Nu-Wave Party Mixer, which I got on sale, and which is way cheaper than the Nutribullet I really wanted, on top of being the daiquiri champion, I now can make wonderful fresh fruit slushies for my nephew and yummy fruit and green smoothies for myself.

My favourite smoothie to date is my Morning Wake Up Call green smoothie. Yes, I have lately been having this in lieu of coffee, while in recovery mode. I am making a concerted effort to not try to cover exhaustion with caffeine, while adding much needed nutrients at the top of my day.



For my morning smoothie, I use

• a huge handful of baby spinach leaves (Trinis, do NOT attempt this with bhagi. You will regret it! lol)
• one ripe peach (you can also use a banana, but I hate bananas)
• 6-7 seedless prunes
• a tbsp peanut butter - organic if you can
• almond milk 
• whey protein powder
• If you have kale, throw that in too

You put it all in the mixer and pulverise it. For post-workout, I sometimes use half milk, half coconut water, for those much needed electrolytes. Once your fruit is sweet, you really have no need for sugar. I tend to never put sugar in my smoothies anyway, and if you are going to use yogurt to give your smoothie some body, use plain yogurt as opposed to the sugary stuff.

I have also made smoothie bags for convenience and to keep my ingredients from going bad in the fridge. Spinach for one is notorious for spoiling very quickly, so I have taken to bagging it out in individual smoothie servings and freezing it. And when it's time for smoothie, I simply grab a bag, pop it in the mixer with some milk/coconut water and voila.

That's my idle "sick in bed" post for today.

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Reminders and Lessons from this week

I was reminded that coffee is a mask used to cover deeper problems and all coffee addiction jokes aside, I need to start listening to my body when it screams "I am tired".

After having weirdo things happen to my body, and banning coffee from my morning breakfasts for a few days, I was reminded that I could not deny that my fatigue was not normal.

I  was not reminded, but learnt that IV fluid bags take a long, long time to empty into one's body. This is especially not good when one is hungry and there is nothing at all to eat. I learnt this from having said bag attached to my arm - not a fun lesson.

I was reminded that sick days were invented for a reason. I must exercise this franchise more often when it is necessary.

I was reminded that I am not close to being invincible. I have fears like anyone else.

I was reminded that the internet is not always your friend when you start playing doctor and trying to diagnose yourself.

I was reminded that a second opinion really contributes to peace of mind.

I learnt that I have in fact lost 13 pounds. This was a great lesson cause I had banned myself from getting on the scale again until I felt for sure that weight loss was happening. I did not think anything was happening and when the doctor forced me to get on that evil device this morning, I cringed before I looked down. But small yaaay....13 gone, 500 to go!!

I was reminded that small victories often justify small treats. Very small. Don't judge me. I had a tough week!

Hazelnut Mocha cupcake. So cute. So yummy.

I was reminded that life is more than the day-to-day routine and hustle. It is soooo fragile and so much more than we make it each day. I was reminded that I have to take better care of myself and to embrace life more than I do. I need reminding of this often.

I was reminded that I am loved and that I love in return. Thanks for all the well wishes.

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Kitchen Porn: Greek Yogurt Cheesecake

For the past few weeks as you know, I have been eating better, and this has included no alcohol and no dessert.

No alcohol - not as hard for me as it may be for some, as I am not a huge drinker, but I do love a nice cocktail on a Friday afternoon or a glass of wine every once in a while. I mean, I CAN have it. I just choose not to right now. Saving up...

No dessert - this is a bit harder. lol. Snacking has always been my problem, and while I prefer salty snacks over sweet stuff, I do like a nice cake or Haagie moment. This being said, I have only had one Haagie moment in 3 weeks, after a bad day at work last week - and that was a Haagie mini cup I have had in the "rescue me from life" box in the freezer for the past month. However, I have been dreaming of cake and thus decided to try my hand at a dessert where I had the control. Enter the Greek Yogurt Cheesecake.

So while it is not a fat buster, it is not coming in at the whopping 710 calories minimum at which the regular cheesecake comes in with no kinda shame. I wanted to bake but also wanted to be able to eat whatever I baked.

So again, I am poor with measurements so I will send you to the pros at the end of this, but I started with some wheat digestives, pecans, rolled oats and cinnamon. This crust was going to be to my specifications and you can do as you like with yours. Threw it all in the processor and got me some crumbs, to which I added some butter.

Now, seeing that I had never made this before, and in fact had never even made a real cheesecake before either, I was not committing to a full cheesecake but instead decided on minis, so I thumbed my crumb mixture into some cupcake liners. Thrust these babies into the oven for 5 minutes and then took them out to cool.

Next, the filling and I added 2 cups of vanilla Greek yogurt, as this was the closest to plain that Hi-Lo had available (just lucky they had any at all as last week there was no Greek to be found) to a bowl.

Next I added some Angostura bitters, 1.5 eggs (1 full egg and the white of the other), some lemon zest and a tsp of custard powder as I did not have cornstarch. I tell you, I am an innovator. lol. Whip whip with the hand mixer. Note, no sugar anywhere in all this innovating - the ingredients themselves have more than enough.

I poured my Greek mixture into my cooled crumb cups, and using about 4 tbsps of the mixture, I added some chocolate powder, so I could make some pretty swirls in my mini-desserts. Note - unsweetened.

Thrust these babies into the oven at 340F for 35 minutes, then left them to cool before chucking them in the fridge for another 3 hours. And voila...

Got some edges that were victims to the liners (okay, so I slightly burnt these critters...slightly...lol) but the texture is amazing and the taste - well, it's cheesecake! I am really beside myself with joy.

I added some spreadable fruit and I am having one of these Greek yogurt minis during Sunday primetime.

I must say, they are really good, and shave more than 500 calories when compared to the real thing. I am a convert though I will still splurge on a Haagie and a real cheesecake slice every now and then. This was also my 400th blog entry since I started this blog so good to have cake to celebrate!

For the more step by step, albeit slightly different version of this dessert, click here.

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Random Foodie Fitness Friday and Fuzzy Footwear

It's Friday. Thank God. I have been a REALLY good girl the past two weeks. I have not had cake, chips, ice cream or any such nonsense for 2 weeks. I have not had alcohol in two weeks. I have had coffee but I think bad coffee should not qualify as coffee. I have been religiously juicing and drinking all sorts of vegetable and fruit concoctions every single day, and just releasing all the bad mojo from my life.

I have also had a pack of Chee Zees, but that was a desperate situation where I was stuck in traffic for too long, without a traffic snack, and just needed something. Anything. I have not had Haagie for TWO WEEKS!!! I have had a Haagen Dazs mini suffering in the freezer for two weeks  - begging to be savoured. No such luck.

I will be destroying that mini during the course of the weekend. Believe it.

So it has not been too bad. I have been working out regularly, and as tiring and annoying as working out can be (I really hate the process), I never regret it when it is finally over. My post-workout pre-breakfast goodie bag looks very similar to this one, with the only difference being that there are a pack of almonds and some dried cranberries in the jar instead of Wheat Thins. I think I am now over almonds, by the way. Sweet Lord. I may never eat another almond.

The healthy goodie bag.

My post-workout breakfast looked like this, with the elephant, which is not edible, by the way, and with extra almonds (see what I mean about the f...g almonds?), extra protein powder, a couple strawberries, lots of nutmeg, and of course lots of blueberries and almond milk.

Ella and my blueberry protein smoothie

And I wanted to share this photo, which has absolutely nothing to do with anything simply because it made me laugh.

Why? Well, this was regular footwear when I lived in London - indoor footwear - which to me seems quite practical. However, I was told by Boy that this is not sexy. He hated it actually. Hated my entire commitment to staying warm, over looking sexy. I get it cause I was always in layers and sweats and ALWAYS in fuzzy socks and my fuzzy slippers. My answer to him was "Turn the Damn Heat Up!" I think it's cute and the photo reminded me of his cheeky vehemence to my socks and fuzzy slippers and made me smile on this, the last day of a long and exhausting week. I am going to email it to him now and piss him off and remind him how awesome I am.

Happy Friday, everybody.

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Food Police to the Rescue

Lunch for work this week

Last night on the primetime local newscast, they showed a story where the city's health inspectors had closed down some more food establishments in the southern city. They have been out and about with a vengeance, ensuring that eating places have their establishments in tip top shape. Many, sadly, have not.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am more than slightly anal about hygiene and when that is married with food that I have to ingest, well...I am a nuisance.

With that being said, it is why I have an adventurous streak when it comes to cooking because my rule is "If I love it, I better learn how to make it". I stopped buying roti, for example, from all unsundry and through the amateur chef's Bible aka the Naparima Girls' High School cookbook (big up my alma mater for being awesome and global) I have been able to whip up a complete roti/curry meal for myself, friends and family, when I need to. That being said, I do still patronise roti shops, but the list of those shops is very, very short.

So when I saw the news item last night, it reminded me why I am drinking celery and spinach this week. It also perhaps provided extra clarification as to why I felt so ill on Sunday, since I had lunch from one of the nasty offending establishments that was closed down yesterday.  I typically avoid food courts like the plague but when this place in particular opened, I thought maybe they were above board. I guess I was wrong. Seeing some of the photos I was disgusted, and it goes to show that "having a name" when it comes to food, and having a nice modern and professional menu board and well dressed frontline staff does not mean what goes on in the back is up to scratch.

A pot observed in one of the kitchens yesterday.
A pot being used to cook stuff for us to eat!!!
Photo credit: Trevor Watson

I guess eating out is like love - your heart may get broken but you don't give up. You cannot cook all the time, and you cannot cook everything. Some may even repeat the saying we use here, "what doh kill, will fatten, and what doh fatten will purge", or yet another,  "what you don't know, won't hurt you". Well, I may not always know what's going on in the back there, chefs and cooks, but I am glad that the authorities are letting us know and I hope that they remain this vigilant about it. In the meantime, I will still eat out, though with serious discretion - though I wonder if I can get any more picky about it. lol.

And I have a salad and some veggies - last night's veggie/fruit cornocupia...

Apples, carrots, a small lime, celery, spinach, cucumbers.
To the juicer we go - yummy.

I have been doing really well with my detox but it has been hard. I decided to go full hundred yesterday and not have coffee, but that was an epic fail and I think I started seeing smurfs, gnomes and fairies by 9.30am. I immediately went to the office kitchen, where all they had was Maxwell House and Nescafe instant, and I made a cup of watery, creamless, near sugarless coffee. It was not gourmet but it did the job. I also got stuck in traffic heading back to South and had no snack, having eaten my banana in the morning. By the time I got home, I was about to eat the dog if he came near me. I ended up inhaling/destroying a pack of Chee-Zees before being grounded enough to juice the fruits and veggies above, and make a soup.

Just a few more days.

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Meet Bride of Dracula

I had dental surgery yesterday - an experience that inspired fear in every fibre of my being until I got a second opinion, and then it just inspired fear in a few fibres of my being, and then no fear when it was finally over. Strapped into the passenger seat of the car, with gauze packed tightly in my mouth, and the loopiness of sedation still very much the overriding sensation, we headed home.

I knew I would be hungry but would be unable to eat anything substantial so when I spied the watermelon van, I told my mother I would really like to get a slice for later. Sitting on the passenger side, I thought I would do the needful and motion to the vendor which slice I wanted, and hand over the cash as well. As the guy headed towards me, his eyes opened in fear and horror, and he almost dropped the watermelon slice from the shock.

"Miss, what happen to yuh mouth?"

I thought perhaps he meant the slack jaw or the swelling. But no, when I looked in the mirror, I was freakin' Bride of Dracula/Vampirella, with blood everywhere - on my teeth, my lips, dripping down my chin. lol. I was a hot mess! I could well imagine my own expression had some crazy woman pulled up to my watermelon cart looking like she had just pulled apart pieces of roadkill with her teeth. Needless to say, the guy was more concerned than terrified in the end. I could laugh about the horrible amusement, even through all the pain, but that was a Mastercard "Priceless" moment if ever there was one. I got home and slept for about 12 hours after that - a combo of I think the sedatives and the physical exhaustion from the past couple weeks.

I am much better today, and no, I do not eat small children. I try not to.

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Turning Water to Wine...with my Imagination

Yummy green tea.

I started the morning with a huge cup of water and 2 cups of green tea and frequent trips to the bathroom.

And so the detox began.

I have been a really bad girl over the holiday season. Excess is not the word. I guess after last year’s miserable holiday season, I was eager to make up for it. Lol. Make up I did. Between all the visits to friends’ and relatives’ homes and thus ultimately, visits to their buffet tables, and all the cooking done at home, not to mention the drinks, I have, in 3 short weeks, done serious damage to my waistline (my hips, my ass, my everything!!!) and my internal machinery. I can actually feel the toxins dancing in my bloodstream.

So I am flushing them all out with gallons of water and pure green tea and fresh fruit and vegetables, with a total avoidance of alcohol, coffee (the absolute horror!!), chicken, ham and pork (no more pig, pleeeeeease!!), and any other flesh, and dairy products. The detox also called for no wheat but that is taking the thing too far. I cannot eat fruit and veggies and live! I need the occasional sandwich! I had a lovely whole wheat pita with a hard-boiled egg white for breakfast and prepared a pumpkin soup for lunch.

By 8.39am, I was chomping on a stick of gum as if my life depended on it. It did. It was not too bad though. Got some fruit tonight and they said no dairy - they said nothing about no soy - so got my low fat soy milk on BOGO!!! Woot woot! It’s meant to be a 5-day detox and cleansing. Not sure if I can go through the weekend doing this but I just need to look in the mirror for motivation! I have also unpacked my gym shoes and will use exercise as a distraction from the carnage of green tea and carrots!

Or, I can also consider the alternative to keep me on the straight and narrow – the traditional post-holiday trauma Trini mothers inflicted on their children after all the sweets and treats of Christmas. Force feeding them laxatives or disguising them in hot chocolate to “flush” out the junk. Just thinking about that makes me want to brew another cup of tea and chomp on a cucumber stick! Ughhh.

Other than that, life is good. I had a lovely weekend, though I was a bit sick. I made no resolutions as I stopped doing that years ago. Instead I just make plans, which include:

• Travel (duh). Will be limited to my hemisphere this year but there are loads of places I still have not been to.
• Write more. And not just on the blog.
• Pick up a class. I tried the adult French class last year and it was a dismal failure. The tutor, while lovely, talked too much…about her life and her husband and kids…and in English!!! Waste of my Saturday morning. No...maybe a music class (always wanted to learn to play the piano) or a dance class or a cooking class.
• Network more.
• Maybe run part of a 5K. lol. Part...planning to run the entire thing would be disingenuous. 

There are other things but I am tired of typing. What are your plans for 2012?

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