I knew I would be hungry but would be unable to eat anything substantial so when I spied the watermelon van, I told my mother I would really like to get a slice for later. Sitting on the passenger side, I thought I would do the needful and motion to the vendor which slice I wanted, and hand over the cash as well. As the guy headed towards me, his eyes opened in fear and horror, and he almost dropped the watermelon slice from the shock.
"Miss, what happen to yuh mouth?"
I thought perhaps he meant the slack jaw or the swelling. But no, when I looked in the mirror, I was freakin' Bride of Dracula/Vampirella, with blood everywhere - on my teeth, my lips, dripping down my chin. lol. I was a hot mess! I could well imagine my own expression had some crazy woman pulled up to my watermelon cart looking like she had just pulled apart pieces of roadkill with her teeth. Needless to say, the guy was more concerned than terrified in the end. I could laugh about the horrible amusement, even through all the pain, but that was a Mastercard "Priceless" moment if ever there was one. I got home and slept for about 12 hours after that - a combo of I think the sedatives and the physical exhaustion from the past couple weeks.
I am much better today, and no, I do not eat small children. I try not to.
