Bedroom Do's and Don'ts

A hamster is a fancy rat, in case you did not know

It's been a crap day but not going to talk about that. I will tell you what made me laugh out loud at the end of my crap day while talking to my girl. When you think your job is crazy, there is always someone else with a weirder experience.

And as a single woman, still exploring the minefield that is dating, I have to encourage other single people to really not take anything for granted when looking for a love match. So, when next you think your love life and/or your sex life is dull and could use some passion, DO ask some serious questions about your date's sexual habits and decide whether they are relevant to your tastes.

Now while I am all about freedom of choice, in and out of the bedroom, there are certain limits I think. Talking to my friend, I was shocked to learn that some people are using animals as part of their bedroom trysts. Very few things shock me, but I am regularly disgusted by the habits of mankind. So what would you tell a guy who comes into your emergency room with a hamster up his ass? What do you say when after you ask the all important question - how did the hamster get there? - he says, it was part of our...ummm...bedroom activities?

And when I asked how on earth this hamster got into such a...tight space...and was told that the hamster was positioned face first near the "door" and then a fire lit at its back end, which ensured frantic burrowing to get up there...well, there were no words really. A fire! This is not what The Doors had in mind when they sang "Light My Fire".

What is the sexual attraction of sending a rat up one's back door? Can't a vibrator do the job?

DON'T engage innocent animals in your sex life. I am not a lover of rodents, but this is horrible! Both for the rodent and the human.
DON'T be cruel to animals for your sexual gratification. Seriously.

Additionally, DO use websites or local sex shops to acquire toys and other such paraphernalia to enhance your sexual experience.
DON'T use lightbulbs. Yes, another person came into the ER with lightbulb filaments up there. Who thinks this is normal? Again, "Light Up My Life" was a big hit, but this was not the original concept!

DON'T assume your date is normal. DO ask these questions and spare yourself the trauma!
DO contact your local PETA or RSPCA/TTSPCA/ASPCA if you encounter such psychos.
DO save the hamsters of the world.
DO spare yourself from animal borne diseases!
DO think long and hard about your sexual behaviour during the dating process! Celibacy may be an option.

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For Sale: Love, Sex and Marriage

A friend shared this video with me and besides the obvious hilarity of it (only a Trini has this kinda time to waste...lol) it really is an amusing reflection of a segment of the local dating scene. In fact, it is not so uncommon in other places either. A dude buys you a drink and though after having to pay for my own drink at a party once, and recognising just how expensive cocktails can be, a $30 drink does not equal commitment.

I saw an episode of Oprah once where a grown woman, I mean a woman in her 50s, was asking Oprah whether it was expected that after a man paid for dinner, that she should sleep with him. I am not sure where this whole material barter thing started - food or drink for sex - but I would hope that more women would appreciate that they are worth more than a plate of ribs or a beer, like my puppet friend in the video. True, some women up the ante and barter sex and companionship for more expensive things like a house, car, trips etc, giving rise to the sugar daddy syndrome, which I support, tongue in cheek. lol. But is love - be it physical or the whole deal - really on sale?

 I just loved the video and wanted to share it. I have a myriad of things I need to do today and I think I should go take a shower.

I have also added some of my favourite products to my Amazon widget, located on the top left of the bloggy blog, so check them out. You may want to order something. I will be changing them out regularly.

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