Find God's Match For You

Christian love. All kinda love.

So when I see this Christian Mingle ad, I always have a laugh. The people who came up with this marketing campaign are pretty bold, pretty out there. To confidently promote this online dating service for Christians, with the tagline – Find God’s match for you – well, that takes some balls.

It always conjures up this image of God relaxing on the patio, in his robe and warm slippers, with a cappuccino, maybe a croissant or a Danish, maybe a cigar (hey, they started it), with his iPad or Galaxy Tab, going through his list of Christians looking for love and matching Joe with Jill, Brad with Melanie – all before he gets to the real work of blessing people, curing the sick, etc.

I mean – seriously, people. Find God’s match for you? Who came up with this? Who approved this marketing campaign?

I am curious as to the algorithm that matches the ones seeking love on this site. I mean, did an Archbishop somewhere get a memo from God which he then shared with IT developers? What if the love-seeker is not a Christian? Does the person get zapped while trying to sign up?

God's message in your inbox?

I have absolutely no problem with a niche-specific dating site – black singles, gay singles, Caribbean singles, etc. You want what you want, and if you can trim the fat and get to the meat of the matter, right down to brass tax, right down to your target niche, whether it is a black guy, Caribbean girl or Christian single, then great. However, I just found the advertising for this to be a bit ludicrous. Find God’s match for you. I wonder if they got God’s okay to use his name in these ads! It’s almost as stupid as God’s and Jesus’ Facebook and Twitter profiles. Who does these things?

But more importantly, and for all the non-Christian minglers out there - does this mean that Match and e-Harmony are the other guy’s sites? I mean, as if dating was not traumatic enough!

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Ladies - Are you suffering from the "It All Belongs to Me" Dilemma?

So I am under self-imposed exile this weekend - from the universe. It's been a harrowing week and I am also a bit social-life weary so made the conscious decision to just stay at home ALL weekend and not do anything. I have been excelling at this.

So it has been just me, my book, my laptop and my DVD player, the occasional muffin, a tempting Magnum ice cream bar in the freezer, and my pillow,  and it's been awesome.

And I have been listening to some tunes, like this one.





Now, I love this song. These ladies are so talented and so gorgeous and I love when they collaborate. Monica is a star, believe it. Love her voice, her sass.

However, the song has me a bit perplexed. lol.

In the first place, the song is in a nutshell asking the guy - the now ex - to leave all the stuff bought for him during the relationship. The car, the bling, the macbook. I mean...why buy him this in the first place? And there is no mention of what he has bought for the chick. None. Zero. Nil. Not even a pair of underwear!

Which brings me to my next point -

All you do is talk
Never knew you to do nothing else
You ain't good for nothing baby

So WHY are you with this no-profit, no-contribution (emotional, financial or otherwise) man? And on top of that, you STILL buying him the car and the Macbook!! You an ass!

Am I losing it here? Is it just me or is this woman a damn idiot too? I mean, if I were the man I would say, "Baby, I worked for this Macbook. I chain up your head so bad that you still loved me and bought me stuff even though I was a good for nothing!"

Ladies, ladies - don't do this! Just don't do it. This is why being single can sometimes be edifying and liberating and just plain better! lol.

No sympathy from me, ladies. But the song is still beautifully done.

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Naughty, Naughty Friday night

Wine and cheese at The Naughty List
Photo credit: Lime.tt

We headed to The Naughty List last Friday – a wine and cheese after-work event. This was to precede our attendance at the Friday night premiere of the locally produced version of “Les Miserables”. Bad idea.


Well, bad in the sense that both the wine event and the musical were excellent individually. But put together, not the best outcome. Lol.

Besides the excellent girlfriend vibe and company, the selection of wines at The Naughty List was exceptional. One had a choice of one of three wines in the reds, whites and blush wines, so you would have had three glasses of wine, or more if a friend did not want to use all their wine chits.

I confess that wine is my Kryptonite. While not an alcoholic – my consumption of alcohol is limited to the occasional happy hour, or wine with dinner – I do have a high enough tolerance for spirits. I can have quite a few cocktails and be completely a-okay. Wine however, while not debilitating, makes me rather sleepy, particularly red wine. I don’t have to tell you what went on when we got to the theatre. Lol.

What I will say is that in-between winks, the talent of the students starring in this musical was exceptional. I was particularly impressed with the young man cast as Javert, and the young lady cast as Fantine. Unfortunately, the combination of the wine and a long work week got the better of us and we did not stay til the end, but a job well done to the producers and young actors. I am again impressed with the quality of our musical productions in this country. Great talent abounds.

I would also like to say I wish there were more of the recommended cheeses for a more exciting wine and cheese pairing exercise. Not sure if people ran off with trays of the camembert for example, but I would have liked to have had more than 1-2 cheeses for my wine. Maybe that would have helped. Lol. Maybe I am just greedy like that.

We however did end up in Haagen Dazs, in search of more caffeinated beverages, where coffee was ordered, a pick me up having becoming necessary.

Still did not stop us from enjoying champagne the following evening. The grape is a brilliant fruit and should be enjoyed with friends.

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To all the Fat Haters...

Elle Rondes, owning her body and
not giving a sh.... Brilliant!

So, I have never hidden the fact that I am not a pencil in terms of body shape and size. I am more like a cute hourglass, with some extra padding. Needless to say, the hourglass has expanded in recent months, but I am not crying over it. Some may say, fat. I say “awesomely padded”. Lol.


Of course, I am not being indifferent either. I have cut way back on the snacks to start. Gone are the daily Magnum bars in primetime. Lol. (Magnum ice cream bars are awesome, aren’t they?) And I eat more vegetables now, though eating more fruit is still an issue, if you refuse to consider wine and strawberry daiquiris as part of the fruit family. And, therein lies my major weakness – happy hour weight gain. I can eat salad all week long. It just takes ONE happy hour outing to derail all my best efforts.

Of course I am also in the gym and while not a lover of working out (understatement of the millennium), I do it because the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. I have more energy during the day, I burn off some of those fruity stepchildren from the weekend, and my pants don’t need loosening.

This is where I would like to expand on a previously highlighted point, in a previous entry. Getting comments from anyone about my weight is annoying, but getting comments from FAT people about my weight is just infuriating – especially fat people who do not know what a salad looks like, or whose idea of working out is walking to the fridge. I make no apologies for this cause I am tired of fat, lazy people having an opinion. When you get yourself together, then talk to me. When you can rock a salad over a Big Mac, then you may comment on my slice of cake on a Saturday night. When you can run a lap around the Queen’s Park Savannah at 4 in the morning with me, then you can look at my waistline. And when your comments are uplifting and CONSTRUCTIVE, then we can talk about my fat ass all day. But until then, keep your comments to yourself.

I am happy, my people are happy, so why are you making my dress size your problem? Don’t you have enough problems in your own life? If you translate being awesome as having nothing positive to say about others, no matter what their size, colour or pay cheque, then you need more than cake to medicate yourself. The time taken to look at others could be better invested in being the best you can be – whether you are 300lbs or 100.

Don’t worry about me though, cause I am already there. Fat or not, I am truly super, baby! Believe it!

My weekend was awesome by the way and included a good dose of wine, champagne, white chocolate bread pudding (can we say, SINFUL??), great, great friends, lots of laughter and fun and good memories to last me the week. Oh…you said something? I did not think so.

Happy Monday!!!

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