London Under Snow, Again

Image courtesy Getty Images via Times LIVE

So it's snowing again, and again, London has been paralysed. This time though, it can snow all bleedin' day as far as I am concerned cause I have no school, no nothing, so I have no reason to go outside. I just snuggled up with a glass of white wine, which should send me straight to dreamland in a few minutes, and I am officially in hibernation for the next two weeks. The weather has created problems for friends trying to make their way home for the holidays though and for this, I am sorry. For me, that was never an issue, cause as the world knows, I am not able to go home, and the depression is very real, but I promise not to dwell on it. I am thinking of  volunteering at a centre over the holidays to remind myself that life is pretty damn awesome.
School is closed for the next couple weeks but we have 2 exams as soon as the break is over so I have stuff to keep me busy and to keep my mind occupied. Not the things I would have anticipated but hey...

I have not been bitten by Rudolph, or elves or whoever or whatever is supposed to bite a person to get them feeling all Christmassy. Between school and this nasty, persistent flu, Christmas has, until now, been the furthest thing from my mind. Now with the snow, I am loathe to change out of my comfy, warm pyjamas to attempt going out into London to do anything. But I have noticed the neighbours putting up trees and strings of lights and Santa hats. One neighbour has a sign up that says

WELCOME SANTA! WE BELIEVE!

I really hope Santa does not disappoint them. He has disappointed me on many a Christmas so my sign should read:

SANTA! BEWARE!

I am not sure how people even contemplate having a social life in these conditions. I am unwilling to even go walk the few hundred metres to the jerk chicken shop to get some jerk pork, far less, stand at a bus stop or train platform to go into London for a good time (been really craving the jerk pork though...I wonder if they deliver?). I am making my good time at home tonight, though if my cousin has his way, we will be at another Caribbean party not too far from here. I guess it all depends on how soon I start going stir crazy in here. I am busily searching for sites where I can watch movies online since Sky really is shit. Looking outside every 5 minutes though, and seeing only white, sure does cure me of any wanderlust.

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The Great London Thaw

Well, first let me show off my award. I love awards.

Thank you, Facing50WithHumour. I enjoy reading your blog because it is hilarious, real and full of fun. I need that every day. As for bestowing the award, that's always a bit harder because mostly my non-blogging friends read this blog and not too many other bloggers. :-( But if I can give it back to you, in thanks for being a regular, and one I adore, then I will.

Secondly, today was, surprisingly...

...despite the closure of the District Line, which meant I had to take a series of buses and trains instead to get to Dagenham. But I got there without any major disruption which takes me to my next point.

Thirdly, I now have clipped ends and spunk back in my locks. Money well spent from the unemployed student's coffers. Another week could not have gone by with my hair in such a state. My motto in life is, you may be poor, but you can still be fabulous, and hell...hell, if I was going to look like some heathen in December of all months. If I have to eat Sainsbury's crackers for the rest of the month to make up for it, I will but I don't have to be nervous if the wind blows my hat off anymore. Yaaay.

But...as soon as I walked out of the salon, it began raining. Really, England? Really???

Getting back to my part of London, I went to Sainsbury's, got a heap of vegetables, some pasta for the pasta drawer (of course!), some garlic bread, some apple doughnuts (for the sweet tooth), some pork chops (for my inner Nigella), some chicken breasts and a bottle of wine (for my inner lush), and yet I came home and felt an intense craving for corned beef. Corned beef. Something I rarely eat but when I crave it, I enjoy it immensely. Luckily, my cousin always buys stuff, never uses any of it, and I am the expiration date stalker. And there was a tin of far from expiration date corned beef in the cupboard, and I added some onions, corn, tomatoes and sweet peppers to it and put some garlic bread in the oven to get warm, golden brown and crispy. Queen Elizabeth never had a better lunch/dinner!!!

There were a lot of *drip drip* sounds across London as the snow and ice melted and a lot of *thud thud* as cakes of ice fell off windscreens and windowsills. God answered my prayer and gave me excellent Saturday weather and I shudder just typing that because this is by no means excellent by tropical standards, but trains were running, buses were not skating off the roads, and salons were open, so yes...it was EXCELLENT weather today. So next up, Friday and Saturday climate excellence. I will not be greedy and ask for the entire week but I have places to be on both days and I would appreciate if it were not snowing or raining. I never thought I would say this but I can tolerate the cold. I cannot tolerate, however, precipitation of any kind so please...

And in winter fashion updates, female hamsters really amaze me. Here it is, I am dying to get me a pair of sexy high heeled boots but with my rational mind I know these would not work for long walks on the icy pavements, not to mention walking in London in general. I have felt my boot on the edge of many a skid in the past week, witnessed many a fall yesterday, including one gentleman who just sat on the ice and started laughing hysterically - and all in flat, practical snow boots. Why on earth then are the female hamsters in boots that look like these?

I am really beginning to question the character of some of these women. I love looking good but at the expense of my limbs? At the expense of my safety? At the expense of my pride? I say a silent prayer with every foot fall on the ice on my walk home and pray to God I don't go flying down the pavement with a thud. Yet these hamsters are clippity clipping  and treading carefully in non-skid-proof platform and stiletto-heeled boots and shoes. I am really concerned. But then maybe they are more skilled in navigating the ice than I am.

Maybe. I pray that none of them fall in my presence because I am not sure I would be able to stifle the laughter.

Finally, I really hate the garbage bag jackets. You know...the shiny jackets that look like an inflated garbage bag. And worse, they're quilted. The ones like these...

The really scary part is when larger women wear them. I am not a matchstick myself and I will NEVER wear a jacket like this. But ladies, in general, this jacket should be worn in maybe a brown or white, but not garbage bag black or blue, and certainly, if you're over a certain size, you really should avoid these jackets because then you look a bit like...well...like this.

The Michelin Man

I am seeing more and more of this jacket around London and I am not sure if they are trendy, expensive or just on sale, but God...please let the madness stop.

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Mind The Gap

So last night, it seems as though everyone was up waiting for snow. I was up idling on social media and so happened to catch the many cries for snow from weird people in London. Don't believe me?

I called it the Great Snow Watch 2010. At a little after midnight, I put on the floodlights and sure enough, objects looking like specks of dust were floating past my window. Twenty minutes after that, the specks were gone and the snow watch was over?

Lie. I woke up to snowfall and cars covered in this white shit. Oh, was my first snow experience supposed to be romantic? I assure you - IT WAS NOT. Snow is a helluva nasty thing - it turns to brown slush, it floats down on you and melts, making you a soggy, cold mess. It's cold. Snow is not fun.

And yes...all the silly people who were wishing for it last night and so upset that places like Kent were under pressure while London was so pathetic for not having snow - I hope all of you were stranded at the train stations like I was because the "pathetic London snow" caused delays of up to 2 hours. The train to Sandwich lived up to its name today. I was clearly the burger pattie in a British sandwich on the train to Sandwich which I had to wait over 45 minutes for, while the little notice board ticker said "Due in 2 mins" for 45 minutes.

From the perspective of someone coming from the developing world aka Third World, into a developed country aka First World country, this was abysmal. It cannot be safe to have half of London packed like sardines onto these trains. I mean, people were hanging on for dear life out of doors while the conductors pleaded for them to move down into the train so the doors could close. And then when you get to your stop, noone wants to get off to let you off because there are another million people on the platform waiting to take that spot. It was a nightmare. And it was not even a blizzard. Okay, it got a bit heavier as the day wore on but I have seen images on tv worse than this. London worse than POS, man. A little bit of rain and we flood. A little bit of snow and the whole city shut down. Really?

And I ask again, how is this city going to host the Olympics in 2012 when it can hardly transport the people in the city now? Add hundreds of thousands of tourists and this has to be a recipe for disaster. I would love for someone to tell me how this is going to work.

This was the worst day of my life and I have at least 3 more months of this? Oh God. Winter wonderland, my ass. I foresee a few days of missing school. No lie.

But the good news is, I have a flask to top up with rum to keep the soul and bones warm during the nightmare called winter! And I just got some really sexy potatoes from the Afro Caribbean shop (run by Pakistanis) to make a vegetable and ham soup tomorrow morning. Cheers!

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