Oprah, the Ugly Handbag and the Ugly Face of Racism

The Zurich store where they told Lady O where to park it

Today, I read an article about Oprah being snubbed by a salesclerk in Zurich, as the salesclerk made her own assumption that Miss O simply could not afford the US$38,000 bag.

Miss O - how many billion dollars is she worth again?

But this is not the issue - whether she can or cannot afford the bag.

Besides not knowing her customer was one of the most powerful and richest persons in the universe, the salesclerk clearly made an assumption based on the customer's appearance, and whether it was her race, or what she was wearing, that is just not cool. It happens right here as well. People make assumptions about you based on your ethnicity - whether you are black, white, Asian - there is always something that is ascribed to you because of your race.

The salesclerk probably made the assumption that this black woman, as nicely dressed as she was in her Donna Karan, just did not have the moolah to put down on a ridiculously priced, and dare I say, ugly handbag. But how dare she make that conclusion, and worse act on it? It's one thing to THINK it, but it is just malicious to ACT on it. It spits in the face of where black people have come after years of struggle against this same sort of nonsense, and it is just a basic contravention of the general rules of customer service - if you want to keep it simple and non-controversial.

This is a global news story because of the person it happened to, but it happens to a lot of us. I would tend to agree with Miss O that she was discriminated against because she was black. The shop owner's reasoning that it was a mere "misunderstanding" is insulting. Even worse, when she says Miss O was treated badly because the salesclerk did not recognise her. That makes it right?? So if she knew it was Oprah, she would have let her see the bag? What about if I - non-billionaire, average black global citizen - walked into this store? I would be chased out? Seriously!

Having experienced subtle and not so subtle racial antagonism on my most recent vacation, where for example, a bus driver in Rome refused to let me on a bus out of pure spite, I can relate to what Miss O endured. What is even more insulting is when people, in trying to brush off your personal experience and feelings after such an encounter, try to argue that you - black person - are "too sensitive", "not everything is about race", "sometimes you don't recognise you have a chip on your shoulder". These were some of the suggestions I got while trying to explain my feelings of humiliation and anger after such an encounter, by a well-meaning white person, who simply cannot understand and appreciate MY experience, in much the same way that I may not appreciate his.

The handbag at the centre of it all
$38,000?? Really?

It is sad that when I travel to some places, I am not just single global superstar, but I am the "black tourist". I am usually in the minority, and often singled out, for not always uplifting and positive reasons. So yes, Miss O - even as rich and powerful as she is - is just the black woman walking into a store, which maybe in the salesclerk's opinion, she had no right to walk into. The fact that we still have not one or 10 people like this in the world still, but millions, is heartbreaking - in a world we like to consider progressive, and in societies that consider themselves modern, progressive and rate on global satisfaction indices as some of the best places to live. Best for whom though?

It is sad that these types of experiences can sour your experience with a place. I met some of the best people in Rome but the few not-so-nice experiences threatened to sully my perception of the city because it is not just an attack on me, or on Oprah. It is an attack on a wide cross section of the global village - a village that often is not warm and welcoming to everyone living in it.

When not even my money can motivate you to not act hateful, then I have to completely re-evaluate my desire to visit your shop, your restaurant, your city or your country, because at the end of the day, my worth is more than golden, and if you cannot appreciate that, then I know where I can go. I don't think any of us, should subject ourselves to the ignorance and hatred of others, and we need to not just THINK about taking our worth back, but ACT on it.

And that girl was lucky anyone wanted to even see that handbag - black or not - cause the bag is fugly. I would not pay $38 for that, much less $38,000.

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What Chilli Wants, What Black Women Want

I like reality tv. Not all - you won't catch me watching Tool Academy for example, but I love some reality tv. I watched the season finale of What Chilli Wants today and was happy with her choice cause I thought Bill was hot. I know that there are some black people in the blogosphere who don't like her choice, mainly because Bill is a white dude.

I personally thought Bill was kinda hot and an all round nice guy. Of course this is tv and he could be a total ass, but the point is, there are still so many hang ups about black women dating white men. I see black men, dating non-black women all the time - the white models, the Latina actresses, the Hawaiian pop artistes. This equation does not seem to be an issue. But let the black woman be checkin' on a blue eyed, wavy haired Caucasian, and all hell breaks loose.

Why do we still do this? And this is not only coming from the black men, but also from the black women. I saw a tweet that said something like I want to slit my wrists after watching this show. Chilli makes me ashamed to be a black woman.

Because she had a nice date with a white man? That is so stupid. Chilli is a beautiful woman, and why should she sit around the house, twiddling her thumbs waiting on this perfect black man, if there is a perfectly good white or Latin or Asian man waiting at her doorstep, ready and willing to sweep her off her feet. And guess what, she was totally feeling Floyd Mayweather at first and was willing to see where that could go and then Pretty Boy Floyd left her ass waiting at the dinner table. Soooo...she had a choice - sit around waiting for Floyd, or get going and try something else. C'mon people, get serious.

Regina King, another gorgeous black celeb notes

Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, "I want me a brother," well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love—with Black men. -  Vibe

I have a lot of friends who have married outside of their race, and hell...outside of their countries, thus not limiting themselves. I thought love was far reaching and all encompassing. I thought it was about finding that person who gave you butterflies, who stood by you and supported you through thick and thin, who could make you laugh and be comfortable in your own skin, who you saw a future with - regardless of race. But I guess still for some, it's about race and colour and another blog entry on the topic is ultimately pointless so I will stop here.

She was a little anal and picky, making even the pickiest of us look like Mother Mary, but I think she got the picture soon enough that the long list would not get her any lovin' anytime soon. I still think Bill was kinda hot, except for the little bump on his nose, which a good plastic surgeon can fix, so you go Chilli.

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