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| Love your aloneness |
Today, on my day off, I decided to have lunch at a new restaurant I had not yet tried. The original plan was to meet the girls later this evening, but one by one, they bailed on the plan. I could have just rescheduled and met up with them to try this place out next week or whenever, or I could have gotten out of bed and trussed up for a lunch for one. I ended up choosing the latter, which is my usual course of action when I really want to do something. And with it being International Women's Day, I was even more empowered, especially with the lure of complimentary wine in honour of the occasion. So I got dressed, got myself cutesified, grabbed my Kindle and had a very lovely lunch on my day off.
But this is something I do regularly, and not just with lunch, but with life. If I were to wait for others to step in before I decided to do anything, I would be stuck at home, on this island, for all eternity.
But it is more than being brave enough to "be alone" in a grouped up, coupled up world.
I sent my girlfriend a text to tell her I liked the place in general (the staff were very surly but my waitress saved the entire experience), and her response was "Well, I need to get someone to take me there".
My response was "Take yourself".
It's about just doing things for yourself sometimes. Sure we are programmed for social connections, and I am not this man-hater. Hardly. But at the same time, why can't we enjoy who we are sometimes, without the extra trappings? Why does a man have to take you somewhere in order for you to go? Can't you just "take yourself"? Can't you set aside a monthly "me" allowance to just do something? Whether you're single or in a relationship, I think everyone needs some "me" time every once in a while. And there's nothing wrong with that. Why do we sometimes make "me" a dirty word?
Agreed, take yourself is a good answer!
ReplyDeleteI'm big on "me time" which I agree is essential, whether you're in a reltionship or not! After a long day at work on IWD, I took myself for a drink and, of course, the waitress asked me whether anyone was joining me. Instead of thinking of "me" as a dirty word, we could consider it as an empowering acronym (Magnificent and Excellent; Modern & elegant; Mellow yet Energetic). I love ME!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the acronym meanings! I am so gonna steal them. But I agree 100%. ME time, even when you are coupled up, is a necessity. I think more people need to recognise that the personal spirit needs TLC, on its own, every now and then.
DeleteOh, I get so tired of these women who whine about not going to places or doing things they want to do because they are all waiting for someone else. Yes, it's nice to share wonderful things with special people. However, all that "waiting" is going to get you no where but missing out. I had someone at my spa ask me once, "Oh you're going to Italy for 3 months? Who's taking you?" Sister, please. "Me." I said. "I'm taking myself. And trust me, sometimes it's just better that way." Cheers to you Trini-darling! xo
ReplyDeleteYou know I love love love your sense of adventure, Val. I wish you lived closer! :-) I am yet again taking myself off the island for a much needed vacation soon and I could not be more excited!!!
DeleteLove it- especially the "take yourself" line. We always say there's not enough time for everything, but the truth is we don't MAKE time for things like solo excursions and "me" time. Preach it.
ReplyDeleteStopping over from SITS... Yes yes yes! I love dining alone once in awhile. Traveling alone is magnificent (Paris alone for 10 days was one of the best things I've ever done for myself). More women should try taking themselves places. We deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI have done most of my travel hopping alone and I am glad. I had the best time.
DeleteMe time is definitely needed. It has been a long time since I've gone out to dinner by myself - I think you have inspired me to make a me-date for this week!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Good for you, girl!
DeleteI have no problem spending time alone, I enjoy having to please no one but myself. I have a married girlfriend that thinks a woman alone in a restaurant or bar is lonely or desperate and only there to try to get a man. But she labels other women that way to disguise the fact that she is petrified of being alone, she is so dependent on her husband that she cannot function without him. It is very sad that some women allow themselves to be controlled that way.
ReplyDeleteI dine alone a great deal of the time. I review restaurants in the Washington, DC area.
ReplyDeleteYes, to all of this! I'm an only child, so I guess I'm used to do things on my own by nature. I enjoy my time alone and I love to do things with just "me".
ReplyDeleteI used to wait for other people and found that I was missing out on so many experiences because of it.
ReplyDeleteThis weekend is a big step for me, though. I'm going on a trip by myself. I've traveled alone before, but not like this. Even though I'll be meeting people at my destination and doing some things with them out there, I'm driving alone, staying in a hotel alone, and spending most of my trip alone.
I love this. And you're so very right... there's no reason anyone should ever have to take us somewhere we want to go. It's a wide world and we'll miss out on so much if we always wait on someone else's availability. I love that you treated yourself to a lunch solo. I did this a few months ago, and haven't really done it since, but I loved the feeling of sitting, drinking a glass of wine, writing, and watching the world go by. It was a beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteGah! What happened to my comment? I think it may have disappeared :( Whomp.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think it's awesome you did this. If we waited for someone else's schedule to align with ours to do the things we really want to do, we would wind up waiting for a long time. I'm glad that you were able to enjoy a delicious lunch by yourself. It's a beautiful thing!