Finding Balance

I took this photo this morning to prove the point that I clearly spend way too much time at the office. Yet, I can say,"Thank God, I have a job". Sure, I probably work too much, and I know I complain about working too much but I am still pretty grateful. Yesterday I actually "celebrated" my 2-year work anniversary. On the one hand, it seems like I have been at this job for 200 years and not just 2. But on the other hand, it seemed like it was just yesterday, I packed my winter jackets, boots and scarves and moved back to Trinidad, after a mostly awesome 14 months in London. I had not even unpacked my bags before I headed to interviews and was in a position to consider not one, but a few job offers. Some wait months and months before they even get called for an interview. I had not even had time to really wait, as in a matter of days, before bags were even unpacked, I was signing jobby job documents. So I try not to complain too much, too often.

However, I decided to try to map how my various roles match up to each other right now, and it was pretty pathetic. As an employee, I am probably pretty awesome in terms of the amount of time I invest in that role. This indirectly correlates to my role as super diva which I try to maintain since one must always be fabulous, even if that means, dragging one's self off the bed after only 3 hours' sleep (damn you, "Scandal") and taking the dressing table to the office to ensure you don't look like roadkill, cause lemme tell you, my reflection in the office bathroom mirror pre-prep was less than outstanding.

Beauty in a bag. Saving the world from the shock of my nashy appearance, one flat iron stroke at a time.

As an aunt, for example, while love-wise I am top of the charts, in terms of the time I am investing in that role, I am right now, Bad Aunty/Absent Aunty. Same goes for daughter (though I am not that bad here), sister (really bad sister), friend (meh). The employee time drains the energy from me, and this impacts the other time. I get home after work and go straight to bed, hardly ever making time for the other folks.

In doing this little exercise I realise that while the roles are all important and go hand-in-hand, the attention investment is unbalanced. These are the reminders I need to remember to scale it back. I do it today and then two weeks later, I fall back into the same pattern. After my little health scare, I was scaling it back pretty consistently. For a while. However, I have left the office not just late, but very late every single day this week, and worked at home last weekend. Sometimes it cannot be helped, but sometimes, you can just make the conscious decision to just pick up the bag and stick to the plan. I now just don't consider my health, but also the people around me, who need a little "me" time with ME.

This is how happiness grows.