Meet Bride of Dracula

I had dental surgery yesterday - an experience that inspired fear in every fibre of my being until I got a second opinion, and then it just inspired fear in a few fibres of my being, and then no fear when it was finally over. Strapped into the passenger seat of the car, with gauze packed tightly in my mouth, and the loopiness of sedation still very much the overriding sensation, we headed home.

I knew I would be hungry but would be unable to eat anything substantial so when I spied the watermelon van, I told my mother I would really like to get a slice for later. Sitting on the passenger side, I thought I would do the needful and motion to the vendor which slice I wanted, and hand over the cash as well. As the guy headed towards me, his eyes opened in fear and horror, and he almost dropped the watermelon slice from the shock.

"Miss, what happen to yuh mouth?"

I thought perhaps he meant the slack jaw or the swelling. But no, when I looked in the mirror, I was freakin' Bride of Dracula/Vampirella, with blood everywhere - on my teeth, my lips, dripping down my chin. lol. I was a hot mess! I could well imagine my own expression had some crazy woman pulled up to my watermelon cart looking like she had just pulled apart pieces of roadkill with her teeth. Needless to say, the guy was more concerned than terrified in the end. I could laugh about the horrible amusement, even through all the pain, but that was a Mastercard "Priceless" moment if ever there was one. I got home and slept for about 12 hours after that - a combo of I think the sedatives and the physical exhaustion from the past couple weeks.

I am much better today, and no, I do not eat small children. I try not to.

18 comments:

  1. It is kind of funny. I'm glad you persevered through your fear! And being able to make fun of yourself so soon is impressive. I try to take the same approach :)

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    1. If you cannot laugh at yourself, your life is pretty sad, don't you think?

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  2. Oh no! I hate going to the dentist :( This confirmed my fears.

    Happy Saturday SITS Sharefest!

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  3. I remember having my wisdom teeth taken out, and had to have general anaesthesia for it, and when I came round and was able to go home, my Dad collected me, and was taking me home, when we decided to stop for some ice chips and some soup for me, for when I felt hungry. I very dopily staggered round the supermarket, with gauze stuffed in my cheeks and blood dribbling out of one side, because my mouth was still numb from the local they had used to help with pain relief. I probably looked like a zombie, and I am pretty sure I scared off a few people, who veered away from me hastily with their trolleys, when they came towards me.... Hope you feel totally recovered soon. Dental stuff is not fun!

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    1. This sounds just about right!! I feel better, thankfully, thanks to painkillers! lol.

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  4. I remember having my wisdom teeth taken out, and had to have general anaesthesia for it, and when I came round and was able to go home, my Dad collected me, and was taking me home, when we decided to stop for some ice chips and some soup for me, for when I felt hungry. I very dopily staggered round the supermarket, with gauze stuffed in my cheeks and blood dribbling out of one side, because my mouth was still numb from the local they had used to help with pain relief. I probably looked like a zombie, and I am pretty sure I scared off a few people, who veered away from me hastily with their trolleys, when they came towards me.... Hope you feel totally recovered soon. Dental stuff is not fun!

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  5. Where's the photo? I think it would have made an excellent addition to your blog header :) Glad I found you at SITS sharefest!

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    1. Oh God...I had to leave one shred of dignity!! No pics of the debacle! lol

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  6. Dental surgery is rough. Glad you conquered your fear and hope you are feeling better now!

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  7. OMG!! What a nightmare..and kind of funny..! I would have said..."I'm a vampire" and walked away creepingly! But I'm just weird like that.

    xoxo,
    Khloe
    www.kgstyleblogs.com

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    1. I could barely talk with all the gauze I had in my mouth. The guy was traumatised enough I think.

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  8. I had my wisdom teeth out in high school. Shortly afterwards I was drinking some OJ and I guess the acid irritated my gums, because I started drooling blood everywhere at the table. Freaked out my family, that's for sure!!

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    1. Oh dear...sounds ghastly!!! Thanks for stopping by!

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  9. HA HA HA HA!! Photographic evidence would have been hilarious! This is a great story! Stopping by from the SITS Sharefest on Twitter.-The Dose Girls

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    1. I would not have been able to face the world ever again if I shared a photo! lol. Thanks for visiting!

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  10. How funny! One of those moments you wish your life was on video!

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  11. LMAO!!!! This is hysterical. I can only imagine what that poor watermelon man was thinking ("this woman will eat me.").

    HA!

    I remember my friends came by once after I had some sort of oral surgery and my mouth was completely numb on one side. They spent hours trying to make me laugh because of how ridiculous I must have looked smiling on the left side only :)

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