Travelling while Black

They tell you in the guidebooks what to expect if you're gay or if you're a woman. Hell, they need to do it for if you're recognisably black.  

 "Americanah" - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi

Ain't this the truth! Ain't this the truth!

*Ms Adichi speaks a whole lot of truth in Americanah, by the way.*

So while I am not sure what is going on with my life and what 2015 will hold, I still have to at least think of vacation ideas. It's bad enough being a solo traveller - having to find places where a solo traveller feels safe and secure. It's bad enough being a solo female traveller - having to be extra careful in the choices you make as it relates to hotels, travel etc. But add being black to that - it's just a whole other thing altogether.

Travelling while black is real - the notion that this is an issue, I mean. Shopping trips to Miami and New York - no problem. It's like being at home. London - such a melting pot that it's rare that I actually feel like an alien. Londoners ignore everyone - black, white.  But there are some places where I have felt totally out of sorts. The Rome experience to this day, always makes me a bit upset.

Vacations should be carefree for everyone.
This is not me, btw

Luckily, the good experiences outweigh the bad, and though there have been several moments of "wtf!" on my trips, I think they usually had less to do with racism and more to do with:

Plain and simple ignorance - Dear Europe - all black people do not live in Africa. Ever heard the word "diaspora"? I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked to say an English word in "my language". For example - old guy in Florence, Italy. Worse yet, when they find out I am not from Africa, then I just HAVE TO BE American, even if my accent does not quite fit the bill. "Ever been to New York?" Yes, I have been to New York but that is the magic of air travel. I am not American. If someone actually knows where Trinidad is after I tell them, I give them a virtual hug because it is almost miraculous! I am truly an oddity which takes me to the next point...

Curiousity - I heard someone refer to the impolite staring as "rarism" as opposed to"racism". In some of these quasi-homogeneous cities, people like me are a rarity. You are like the raisin in the bowl of milk so they stop and stare and you check to make sure you don't have something in your nose or that your fly is not open because the stares are so pervasive and invasive. Worse, in some cities, the black people there tend to be immigrants, and in my experience, they were usually street vendors/scam artists or hooking. Enter well-dressed black woman and it's like "wtf"? You have now confused the people even more with your bourgie blackness. For me it is always a bit bizarre, especially coming from a place where people stare at you cause they like your ass and want to grab it. Noone stares at my hair, or wants to touch it here, but it is a real phenomenon in some of these places - one that is not cute no matter how clueless or genuinely curious the people may be. There should be a guidebook for residents of these cities - Dos and Don'ts of Meeting Black People for the First Time.

They are just naturally unfriendly and surly - The haterade may actually have nothing to do with the colour of your skin. The people sometimes are just plain unmannerly, unfriendly, uncouth and as we say in Trinidad, "just not on you" and have no damn "broughtupsy".Sad to say, London always comes to mind. They are just a special breed of homo sapien - totally divorced from the reality of life all around them, but when you get around the cold exterior, and get them to put down the iPhone, they can be lovely people. In some places though, they are just like this - fullstop.

But don't get me wrong - travelling while black has the real issues of racism. I have had bus drivers ignore me, waitresses take their damn time to serve me and when they did, I got none of the smiles and sweetness the white customers got. I have had border control brace me as though I were some kind of hoodlum, and Customs stop me to search my luggage and when I looked around, everyone else being searched looked like me. My friend had the cops called on her as she was pumping gas at an isolated gas station behind God's back in the US. And let's not forget another friend who was followed to her hotel room by a hotel employee, accosted and told that prostitutes were not allowed in the hotel.

And it does not matter that we are not drug mules or international escorts. It does not matter that I am educated to Master's level, have a very nice job, with paid vacation and international medical coverage, and zero desire to stay past the time on my visa. The fact of the matter is my passport looks strange and worse yet, I look strange cause I am dark skinned, with dark brown eyes and dark hair. Oh, I'm black. Right. Forgot about that.

But it would also be unfair to paint one city black (pun very well intended) because of the idiocy of a few. Most of my experiences have been positive and a city like Rome, for example, is so beautiful that you just ignore the nonsense and try to make the best of it until you can get the hell outta there. Not to mention I had the chance to meet a friend for the first time ever, so there were a lot of good memories from that trip. I have learnt over time to not miss the opportunities in front of me because of any stereotypes or prejudice people may have. That's on them.

That being said, I am not sure where to go this year. My tolerance levels for nonsense are at an all time low, and it would be nice to travel among more people like myself, but still - the world is my oyster so onward! Ideas still welcome, keeping in mind the solo, female bit as well.

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Oprah, the Ugly Handbag and the Ugly Face of Racism

The Zurich store where they told Lady O where to park it

Today, I read an article about Oprah being snubbed by a salesclerk in Zurich, as the salesclerk made her own assumption that Miss O simply could not afford the US$38,000 bag.

Miss O - how many billion dollars is she worth again?

But this is not the issue - whether she can or cannot afford the bag.

Besides not knowing her customer was one of the most powerful and richest persons in the universe, the salesclerk clearly made an assumption based on the customer's appearance, and whether it was her race, or what she was wearing, that is just not cool. It happens right here as well. People make assumptions about you based on your ethnicity - whether you are black, white, Asian - there is always something that is ascribed to you because of your race.

The salesclerk probably made the assumption that this black woman, as nicely dressed as she was in her Donna Karan, just did not have the moolah to put down on a ridiculously priced, and dare I say, ugly handbag. But how dare she make that conclusion, and worse act on it? It's one thing to THINK it, but it is just malicious to ACT on it. It spits in the face of where black people have come after years of struggle against this same sort of nonsense, and it is just a basic contravention of the general rules of customer service - if you want to keep it simple and non-controversial.

This is a global news story because of the person it happened to, but it happens to a lot of us. I would tend to agree with Miss O that she was discriminated against because she was black. The shop owner's reasoning that it was a mere "misunderstanding" is insulting. Even worse, when she says Miss O was treated badly because the salesclerk did not recognise her. That makes it right?? So if she knew it was Oprah, she would have let her see the bag? What about if I - non-billionaire, average black global citizen - walked into this store? I would be chased out? Seriously!

Having experienced subtle and not so subtle racial antagonism on my most recent vacation, where for example, a bus driver in Rome refused to let me on a bus out of pure spite, I can relate to what Miss O endured. What is even more insulting is when people, in trying to brush off your personal experience and feelings after such an encounter, try to argue that you - black person - are "too sensitive", "not everything is about race", "sometimes you don't recognise you have a chip on your shoulder". These were some of the suggestions I got while trying to explain my feelings of humiliation and anger after such an encounter, by a well-meaning white person, who simply cannot understand and appreciate MY experience, in much the same way that I may not appreciate his.

The handbag at the centre of it all
$38,000?? Really?

It is sad that when I travel to some places, I am not just single global superstar, but I am the "black tourist". I am usually in the minority, and often singled out, for not always uplifting and positive reasons. So yes, Miss O - even as rich and powerful as she is - is just the black woman walking into a store, which maybe in the salesclerk's opinion, she had no right to walk into. The fact that we still have not one or 10 people like this in the world still, but millions, is heartbreaking - in a world we like to consider progressive, and in societies that consider themselves modern, progressive and rate on global satisfaction indices as some of the best places to live. Best for whom though?

It is sad that these types of experiences can sour your experience with a place. I met some of the best people in Rome but the few not-so-nice experiences threatened to sully my perception of the city because it is not just an attack on me, or on Oprah. It is an attack on a wide cross section of the global village - a village that often is not warm and welcoming to everyone living in it.

When not even my money can motivate you to not act hateful, then I have to completely re-evaluate my desire to visit your shop, your restaurant, your city or your country, because at the end of the day, my worth is more than golden, and if you cannot appreciate that, then I know where I can go. I don't think any of us, should subject ourselves to the ignorance and hatred of others, and we need to not just THINK about taking our worth back, but ACT on it.

And that girl was lucky anyone wanted to even see that handbag - black or not - cause the bag is fugly. I would not pay $38 for that, much less $38,000.

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Heart Healthy Cheerios not so good for the hearts of racists

So there is this Cheerios ad, with a white mother, a black father and their bi-racial kid. I have a SERIOUS problem with this ad.

Seriously...the cuteness factor in the ad is just too much for my senses. That is just the cutest kid and the cutest little scenario where she tries to protect her daddy's heart with Heart Healthy Cheerios.

I also have a real problem with all the closet and not-so-closet racists who found this ad offensive. I guess it is tolerable when they - those awful people who choose to walk the streets with someone outside of their race - are just in the corner of one's eye. But how DARE the good people at Cheerios put this travesty on national television, where for 30 seconds, one has to be subjected to the flagrant display of interracial unions and the offspring which come from them. Cheerios - that down home all American breakfast cereal should not be associated with this intermingling. But according to one of the posts on the now disabled comments section under the ad on YouTube, it is not about the ad. Of course not! How silly of me.

“Throughout all of human history, race-mixing and multiracial/multicultural societies have never, not even once, occurred ‘naturally’. It has always been the result of conquest, group A being forced by group B. The systematic decline of western economies has lead to lower white birth rates. Massive non-white immigration leads to loss of land, resources and opportunities for whites. Encouraging whites to race-mix leads to loss of white genetics. It’s not about one Cheerios commercial.”

The truth revealed, kids!

It reminds me of a conversation I had with a white Brit who did not believe that racism existed in the UK. He thought black people were too sensitive to what they perceived as racism. I was flummoxed to say the least. But it does exist and when faced with the growing reality that there are those who choose to not let race, sexuality, gender etc be hindrances to the fulfilment of life's happiness, we see the real and ugly side of society that some of us (un)consciously choose to ignore. Speaking as someone who has dated all kinda men, of all shades, shapes, and sizes, these people offend me greatly and sadly, disabling their hateful comments on social media is just a band-aid on an oozing sore.

While I saw a cute cherub of a child, and did not stop to think of her ethnic background, others saw the decay of society, when in fact their own reaction underscores the real decay out there. I wonder if they will stop eating Cheerios as well. Kudos to Cheerios for standing their ground on what is a great heart warming commercial. Kudos to Saatchi and Saatchi for just ramping up the creativity with mega cuteness.

While we are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, I can still take heart that when I cross the street, I can turn all kinds of heads - black heads, Asian heads, white heads - and we can all laugh and smile about it and life goes on. That my own nephew, like so many others in Trinidad and Tobago, is the result of this awesome interracial love fest and is just loved for being cute and mischievous is also pretty award winning.


 

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The Good, the Bad and the Reality: The T.O. Show/Ochocinco

My reality tv fix last night was about football players. I don't know a damn thing about American football, nor do I care to know, but the NFL sure is getting some PR - whether they want it or not - via the reality show vehicles of two of their most flamboyant and controversial stars. Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson...sorry...Ochocinco both have joined the fray of sad celebrities looking for more fame on VH1 - which once upon a time, like MTV used to be a music channel. I am not complaining because both men are in fine and ripping form.

But black people strike again! I mean, first it was Chilli from TLC dating and finally choosing vanilla latte over mochaccino on her reality show "What Chilli Wants". Now Ochocinco and T.O have weaves across America in a bunch with their flagrant display of, and this is a new term for me, colourism, i.e. dating non-black women. Are we still on this old junk? Apparently so. I mean, to each his own. The funny thing about it is the T.Os and Ochocincos of the world aren't interested in the Maggie Mayhem from the block. Their lifestyles are fast, furious and frenzied and the women who will throw themselves at them are the same. Do you want to be a female statistic? Maybe they have a type - ditzy groupies. Are you really aspiring to be a football groupie?  Really?

Everyone is allowed to like whomever they want to like. I am black and have dated black men, white men and potpourri men and black men get all upset because you may find a white dude to be cute. So I guess I am a colourist! Well, I thought I was human and free to date whomever I wanted to date. I was not aware there was a formula for this thing. Seriously...it's old.


I think this comment sums it up for me though:

It never ceases to amaze me how when a black man has a great deal of money to his name, its in blood that he has to have a black woman on his arm. If he was T.O. the fedex man, none of you would give a damn
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In the meantime, I get to admire the fine male athletic form of both men. I don't want to date 'em. I just like looking at the form. And reality shows are in essence, simply hilarious!

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