Penis on the Train and other Funny Weekend Moments

Nicki Minaj rocks this orange wig. Hot!
Photo credit: Thirsty Roots

Something is wrong with me. Why was I awake at 8.00am on a Sunday, especially considering that I have not had a full night's sleep in a few days, that I was up at the crack of dawn yesterday to keep my salon appointment, and that I was out late last night? I really do not appreciate you, internal alarm!

So as I mentioned at the end of the last post, my hair seems to be totally f...d. It was just falling out and was completely jacked. It caused some minor to major depression and I just decided my hairdresser in London would have to double as therapist. I was perfectly prepared to go pixie short for the cause, but she told me not to do anything that drastic just yet. So while it looks a bit better, it's still pretty crap. I'm not happy.

Needless to say, I joined the hordes of black women in London yesterday who wear fake hair as I pulled out my awesome wig for a night out. Funny, as I walked through the tube station, a gust of wind caught it and I was praying to all the gods under the moon and sun that this thing did not blow off. lol. I pictured the wig blowing off my head, landing on the tracks just before the train gets there, causing a disruption on the Northern line, thus causing hundreds of London commuters to be plotting to kill me, all because I am a bit vain. Well, I held on to said wig to avert this scenario.

Then I had a good chuckle when I went into Sainsbury's after dinner cause I had a craving for sausages again. You know how I love me some UK sausages. And behold, there were sausage bargains. And 25p bread. A student's wet dream!! The 25p bread caused a bit of a scene in the bread aisle as I, poor, hungry, unemployed student, thought - wow...25p bread. I must have this. On the other hand, employed Londoner, was aghast that I would consider buying bargain bread and made such a big deal about the bread. Really, buddy? But then he makes a big deal about a lot of things beyond my comprehension. Nothing was wrong with the bread except that its expiration date is Aug 2, by which time the bread would be consumed anyway. But noooo...it was a bread argument between me and the Sainsbury's girl, trying to explain that 25p bread was perfectly good bread, and employed Londoner on high horse, who felt I should get 89p bread. lol. Needless to say, the 25p bread is in my fridge and I had 2 rolls for breakfast and they were lovely. I have no problem in buying 89p bread, dammit, but why let a bargain pass me by?

And no Saturday night would be complete without a night cap and some penis. On the train, no less. Look away if you are a prude. Look away now. Faces hidden to protect the innocent.

Hen night, obviously. She and her tool caused quite a stir! lol.

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Hairy Nightmares

At least this puppy is cute enough to pull it off
- the dreaded combover

This photo was too funny not to share. The dreaded combover. I must say, I have not seen any combovers here in London. Yet. While a lot of British men are in various stages of hair loss, they have kept it respectable. Some have what's left of their tresses neatly trimmed. Other have the bald patch in the middle. Some just do away with the remnants and sport the Kojack look. But I have not seen a combover. Fantastic. They may not have the best teeth in the world, but at least they have hair sense. Most of them anyway.

My date a few weeks ago needed a follicle intervention for sure. He was holding on to his hair for dear life. I guess when it is going, you think you can compensate for the loss in different ways. In his case, he let it grow long. So it was long and stringy and to add insult to injury, it was packed with some type of hair product which made it look greasy and even more limp and disgusting. It took great willpower to not stare at his tragic head all evening. What made it worse he wore his "hair" with a centre part, which emphasised the hair loss and the grey hairs. The guy's head was a complete aesthetic disaster. Luckily for him, he was pleasant company but that was it.

My friend and I are going out for lunch this afternoon. He is as bald as a football. It could never work. lol. I love hair. Some men love women's feet or legs or ass. I love hair. Gotta have it, guys. All of it - from temple to the nape of the neck. Shallow, I am. I lost a lot of interest in Wills when he started down the bald path. He was such a gorgeous young man. Such a tragedy.

William - Hair Today, None Tomorrow

But at least it's not a combover. And at least it's not hair plugs or worse - a hairpiece. Or the spray on shit I see becoming popular. And then ladies wear extensions, wigs and weaves so we cannot beat up on the guys too much. At least they keep it real!

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