Home is Allegedly Where The Heart Is

Tired airline passenger

So all I could think about yesterday as I sat on BA 2159 was my bed, with my pillows and my stuffed dog, Muffy. I was totally exhausted and even with the cat naps on the flight, I got home just wanting to take a long, hot shower and sleep. So why am I awake at 4.05am??

So yes, I am back in Trinidad. The flight was not uneventful. From start to finish, there were the moments which make my life such a comedy treat.

1. The taxi ride from home to Gatwick. My cousin uses the guy all the time and trusts him. Turning up late did not inspire confidence, but he was wearing a full suit, so I forgave the slight time casualty. Yes. A suit. To drive a taxi. I was not sure whether to be impressed or amused. In any event, I was also warned that he is a devout Christian and before we could turn the corner, he asks, "Do you love God?" I do love God, friend, but I did not want to talk about it. The sermon was short thankfully but in hindsight, I needed it. To face the day. And the traffic. I sat stewing in angry juices for a while as we sat in London traffic, but somehow by God's grace and by some rather un-Christian driving, I got to Gatwick International safe and sound and without missing my flight.

2. The seat. So I have a habit of using online check-in to get myself a comfortable seat and in my opinion, with my budget, comfortable does not mean first class or whatever fancy name they call the posh sleeper seats. Comfortable means...the bulkhead seat.

The bulkhead seats

I have not had any bad experiences in the past. I crave legroom and also the convenience of either not having to get up to let my seatmate with an overactive bladder jam their backside in my face as they try to get out, or me jamming my backside in theirs. Also, when you're tired and want to sleep, you don't need people waking you up so they could go get their pee on. The bulkhead seat is my answer to convenience. I will open the exit door, no problem. I do not even mind sitting near the washroom - once I can stretch my legs and not be bothered by silly people.

The thing about the bulkhead seat is that they are right next to the seats typically reserved for passengers travelling with small children. Again, never a problem in the past but these 2 babies yesterday, while very good babies, hardly crying, very cute and happy, seemed to have some serious intestinal issues. lol. I mean, how much can a baby shit? Apparently, a lot! After a while, the cute chubby cheeks and goo goo gah gah sounds were not enough to save them from getting a face.

3. The delay. Add a delay to the rank smell of baby poo, and you get an irritable traveller. While I appreciate the airline's deep regard for my safety and I am glad the plane did not have to crash land anywhere, sitting in St Lucia for 2 hours when all I wanted was to get to my house, after already sitting on a plane for 7 or so hours, was not fun.

Blame it on the Henny

4. Immigration and Customs. The fault did not lie with the officers themselves but with the passengers. Why dear Lord, can't people fill out the forms on the plane? Credit to the immigration officer who told the lady to step aside so he could process my form and send me on my way, as she filled out the landing card. But why, lady, do you have to be argumentative and keep me back?  I don't understand it. Why could you not move like a nice old lady and let other people get out of there while you filled out your landing card? It's not hard!

Then the special lady in the Customs line. The customs declaration clearly states that one is allowed 2 bottles of alcohol and anything above that, you have to declare. It's not hard. Hiding 9 bottles of alcohol in between your panties and sweatpants is not going to change that. This, in addition, to the 2 bottles picked up in Duty Free. What? Is a bar yuh running?? Of course, when the suitcases containing the undeclared goods go through the scanner, the form is handed over to the Customs officer where she sees that the passenger has dishonestly ticked "nothing to declare" next to the spirits box, I sucked my teeth, rolled my eyes, and knew I would have at least another 5 minutes of waiting. I already looked like death warmed over, but really??

And after all this, getting home, taking that shower and crashing like a stone out of absolute exhaustion, my eyes were open at 4am? What's the deal here?

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Jobless, but not hapless in London

So I am back in London. But this time not as the divalicious tourist but as the fabulous unemployed student. I did some grocery shopping yesterday and it reminded me that during my student days, macaroni and cheese, and crackers and green tea will be my best friends. Got two boxes of green tea. I'm ready. The good thing is I will lose some weight for sure and maybe get back my undergrad body. lol. Miracles do happen!

To answer Bingi's question about BA, we need to go back to last week where I was trying ardently to get the lowly 20% discount on my second bag by paying for it online. However, try as I might, the site would not let me. I called and tweeted and was told I would have the option during online check in, so on Tuesday evening, armed with my credit card, I tried again, and still no luck. And though the difference between paying online and paying at the airport represented £8, it's an £8 that could look like £800 when your belly empty. lol. So I called again and got a very wonderful and friendly agent named Gail, who herself tried and confirmed my suspicion - the website was crap. Sadly, as friendly as she was, Gail could not give me my £8 discount over the phone and I was left with no choice but to go to the airport and pay the full £40. Smurfy I was not. BA's rating had quickly gone from a top pick of say, 9, to a meagre 3. But they're back to being a 9, and perhaps even a 10. I got to the airport and not only were my constant complaints logged in and available to the ticket agent, but it was proof that I had indeed tried to access mih £8 discount so guess who managed to keep her £8 in her pocket? And try as I did, my bags were still overweight, though just by 1kg a piece. Some hater would have made me pay that £30 but the poor student won again and I was politely scolded and allowed to board without a fuss.

So KUDOS TO BRITISH AIRWAYS and welcome back to being my #1 airline!

There was no crying at the airport. My mother held up well. But there was lots of crying on the plane. I held up well but the child next to me did not. Other than that, it was uneventful, from plane to Border Control to Customs. I made it...without having to cut my eye at anyone. Kudos to me.

It's surprisingly sunny and bright here though a bit chilly and I am in the house relaxing and watching Murder She Wrote on Sky. I left the house briefly today to go to the bank (but they could not do what I needed so will organise my account on Monday at the branch near school) and a phone card for my mobile. I may take a spin down to Covent Garden and ultimately to Lush tomorrow to get some stuff and meet up with a couple people, and oh...get a converter so I can use my laptop without it catching fire. Funny story...I think I was so tired last night that I did not bother to check voltage requirements etc and just plugged my alarm/radio into the adapter and into the wall. A minute later, there was a crackle, a pop but no cute cereal mascots. Only the acrid smell of my cute RCA radio biting the dust. I still slept like a stone but now I need to buy a new one.

I have zero interest in doing anything else cause I will soon be wishing for days like these when I don't have assignments, reading or exams. So hate me while I kick back with a glass of Tropicana red grape juice and some shrimp ravioli. I will be hating you soon enough.

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Sky High Rant

I usually never sleep on long flights because I have crappy circulation and I like to get up and walk and stretch my legs every hour or so but believe me, by the time I get on ole BA 21whatever, I will be completely knackered. Moving a bed from one corner to another is hard work and tiring. Moving a life from one hemisphere to another is simply exhausting. And juggling my day job and my side job as Super Trininista, packing and transferring sold vehicle etc is really taking a toll. Okay, well maybe I am making it sound totally terrifying but shite, I am really tired.

I also have a rant. I remember when I was a student at UWI in Jamaica, good ole Bwee aka Caribbean Airlines had luggage concessions for students, recognising that we had books, we had clothes, we had food, we had equipment in some cases. So when your old grip was busting at the seams with a year of your life stuffed inside, and your other bag had a semester's worth of food (because all Trini students in trying to beat the Jamaican inflation reserved one bag for non perishable foodstuff), the counter staff at Bwee were very accomodating. I not saying they were selling the hog cause I had to pay overweight charges once cause I got there after all the other hungry students had come in with their overstuffed bags, but they made an effort to understand our plight.

Fast forward now to the age of airline capitalism where you might soon have to pay to pee on an airplane, and I am packing a year of my life away and of course, I dunno if you can do it, but trying to fit a year of your life, even if you're drabulous and not fabulous (like me)  into one suitcase is impossible. My winter coat alone took up half of one bag, not to mention boots and other cold weather accoutrements. Of course I still have to buy other things when I arrive in ole Blighty cause yuh cyah pack everything, but one bag, with my Caribbean skin and hair toiletries and warm clothes is already stuffed. Let's face it, Boots cyah help me, my black skin and my black hair! Boots is no Pennywise! What's more, this is not Jamaica I am going to, so I have not a scrap of food in the bag - just clothes, heavy coats/sweaters, just shoes, just books, my laptop. I am not being unreasonable!

Now don't get me wrong eh. I think among all the airlines I have used in my life, British Airways ranks at the top with excellent in-flight service, timely departures, great movies, though the food could use a bit of haute cuisine love. BA is great. But...British Airways allows you ONE free bag and one cabin bag, which already has my laptop and yuh doh wanna be stuffing too many things into the bag with your laptop. I mean, seriously? You eh talk about jeans and then your warm weather clothes yet. I mean, BA, I not asking for a free extra bag, but oh gosh, a lil discount at least!

So with this dilemma in mind and vexation that these people have no consideration for students coming from tropical Third World countries, I tweeted to British Airway's rep and was told I needed to call 1-800-AIRWAYS. Let me just say this BA, doh waste a big woman's time eh. When I called the number, I got a dude who told me they only ever made concessions to missionaries going to feed the poor in places like Africa. I kid you not. But missionaries doh wear clothes other than what...a pair of shorts and an old shirt and some boots? They don't need two bags! The food they are taking to Africa cannot fit into a bag. It's called cargo. I am not asking for cargo concessions. Just a discount on my university-bound bag. Uni books are not paperback novels. They are heavy. Where is the consideration for higher education? No consideration that students

1.are  unemployed and probably trying to save the £32 these bandits at BA and God knows who else (Virgin? AA?) charging for each additional bag
2. need to pack more than the average traveller cause they are packing for a year or more

But to the Twitter person, this is not a new thing so I am sure you knew what phone dude was going to tell me so why make me waste the phone call? C'mon. I am as busy as you are.

I am not sure if Caribbean Airlines still allow students luggage concessions nowadays but a belated bless you for your hospitality back then. I will pay my £32 cause I will not be naked and cold in London because of BA. But they better at least have a better meal than the meals they served when I travelled with them in July and August. I deserve at least that. My deep BA loyalty is being seriously tested.

RBTT - also on my sh... list.

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