Say Yes to the Dress. I said No!

HIDEOUS!!!

I went to the mall on a mission - to find a simple evening dress for this party I have to go to next week. I do not want to go to the party for a few reasons - I am tired and predict I will be tired next week too, I don't feel as hot as I should feel for glamming up, etc etc

But I went to the mall with an open mind. I came home with a all-in-one bag crammed with bundles - groceries, cute camisoles, a nice cardigan, but no dress.

I am really aghast at what was on offer.

1. The usual - sequins and shiny shit. I think sequins should be banned! Okay, that might be a bit harsh cause when done right, sequins can be quite stunning. When. Done. Right. What I saw was atrocious. Dresses with what looked like gold spray paint and what looked like they went buck wild with the glue gun and the sequins. I sucked my teeth in annoyance.

2. Jersey. The sales girl pointed me to the "evening dress" section of the store and they had a lot of jersey dresses. God. Jersey is not glam. Jersey is "head to the supermarket/head to the movies/have lunch with the girls". It's not evening! God help me. Accessorised nicely on the mannequin, one dress looked halfway presentable but the mannequin also does not have lumps and bumps like normal women. Jersey is not it!

3. I tried 3 dresses and then noticed that 2 other women tried 2 of the 3 dresses I was trying. They had them in various sizes and in gross quantities. Not cute! Did not know them but I just thought, oh my God...what if they are going to the same party? Reminded me of a story about a VP who was too cheap to buy a really nice dress and bought one of these dime-a-dozen getups for the staff party, only to see the kitchen assistant in the exact same dress. I have never bought a dress locally for this exact reason. I have always had my dresses custom made or I have bought them on my travels. The thought of being a twin at this party was not appealling to me.

I did not buy a dress. I jumped in a taxi and came home. I was not willing to shell out the money for one either especially as I am in the throes of buying a car. I will recycle something in storage. I washed one last week (it smelled musty from being in storage for over 2 years!!) and I am praying to God that this thing still fits me. Add this to the fact that I am going alone to this thing, with people I do not know, I'm just not excited. Can't wait for it to be over.

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A swift boot to the...

I've been so busy this week that I have not really had chance to blog. I try to store observations in my brain somewhere so I can come back and write about it, but in all the hustle, I think the observations fall out and get crushed. But there is one observation that repeated itself all this week and it bothers me so much I need to address it.

I live in a tropical country. Granted, the weather lately has been atrocious but it is hurricane/rainy season after all. But I am assaulted daily by women walking through the city like this -

Women's boots

What on earth? Why are women wearing boots here? In the middle of the day, in the heat? One girl came in for coffee yesterday in jeans and knee highs and I did not attempt to NOT stare. I stared and let her know I was staring cause I thought she looked stupid.  I saw yet another in Uggs. Really?? Tourists come from the US and Europe to the Caribbean to wear flip flops and run on the beach barefoot. They walk through the malls in cute sandals - loving the freedom of just waking up and knowing it's warm enough to be foot carefree. And yet...

I love boots. Love. But I won't be wearing boots in Trinidad unless hell freezes over.

I have a busy day today. I won't be looking for boots but instead will be looking for a cocktail dress for the staff Christmas party. It's actually not something I am looking forward to, only cause I am exhausted. Who woulda thunk it? Me - not looking forward to shopping or parties! Scary.

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Today was not the Day

Y'all better hope and pray my car gets sorted soon, or this blog will become a daily rant about public transportation.

Oh
My
God
!!!!

It's a nightmare. This afternoon I sat in a taxi that was old, clammy and frowsy smelling. Add the frowsy smelling driver and the frowsy smelling backseat passengers and it was a frowsy experience. Then this driver decided that I was well positioned to listen to him rant about the local drug trade. The trouble was, he needed some mouthwash. I turned my head to the open window and said a silent prayer.

Then tonight, I got the craziest maxi driver ever. Besides wooing me with a fried chicken dinner date (the privilege!!!), he was just totally outlandish. He kept cursing people who did not want to take his maxi, even after I indicated to him that perhaps the people were not ready to go home or not going where he was going. He stopped for one lady and just as she was about to open the door, he drove off, after realising she was "too fat for the small seat" and "she would put [him] in expense when she mash up [his] maxi seat". The poor lady looked so confused as he sped off in a gust of diesel smoke. Then he stopped for a man and again, just as he was about to open the door, he sped off a second time. This time, he said the man was crazy and he did not want "mad people in [his] maxi" cause the man would "probably shoot up the maxi".

It would all be amusing in a very demented way if I were not so tired and annoyed.

As a side note, I ran into a woman I used to work with - one of these old, miserable and farse types who have nothing good to say about anyone or anything. I ground my teeth as she stopped me for a chat and I caught her sizing me up from head to toe, her old, nasty mouth itching to say something - probably about "how fat I got" cause that is always her opening line. I was ready...and waiting. I was waiting with annoyed anticipation to reply with either:

1. Waaay. Who do that weave for you? It's jacked up.
2. Lady, white eyeliner is so 1960. Where you even get that to buy?
3. And it certainly does not match that horrible gold eyeshadow.
4. You wanna go to Pennywise and maybe find a good concealer for the black circles under your eyes?
5. And while you're there, some nail polish remover for the chipped and nashy nail polish.
6. Your husband still with you with you looking like this? He has real belly!

(or all of the above...that was the kinda mood I was in)

Yes. I was waiting. Patiently. But she probably saw the glint in my eye and she said NOTHING. Today was not the day, lady. It was not the day!!

Then, just one more thing. So I am already annoyed that Rituals opens at 6.30am, which is way too late for the early o'clock South-North commuter. I cannot fight the system and I really needed a coffee to stave off sure homicidal urges this morning, so I got to POS at 6am and actually waited for Rituals to open at 6.30. I endured the ole talk from random weird men and the smell of Frederick Street...just for this coffee!

At 6.29.59, I pushed open the door and announced that I was ready to get my caffeine fix. The woman looked at me and said "We not open yet." I asked her if they don't open at 6.30. Her response:

"We not open until we get the doughnuts".

My response:

"I just want coffee."

Her: Well, we have to wait for the doughnuts.
Me (in my mind): What the a... doughnuts have to do with you making me a cup of coffee??

What kinda rubbish this girl was telling me - tired, angry and caffeine deprived? Doughnuts had nothing to do with me. Just grab a cup and start whirring the lil machine and make me a coffee. I had to wait a next 5-8 minutes for her to realise - the doughnuts late! Aye...today was not the day, girl.

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These Heels Were Made for Working

So it's been a while since I posted, so I owe you one.

I resumed high heeled life yesterday - aka work. I did not return to the job I had originally (long story) but started somewhere completely new. It's been interesting, but of course, I never blog about work. I can however blog about other things like my new hair and corporate adventures.

Not much to say about my new hair, other than it's a new look and low maintenance. lol. In terms of the corporate adventures, well, I swear on my dog that I sent HR a harmless, work-friendly photo for the intranet announcement of my arrival. However, apparently my photo was "sexy" and I had a "come hither" look about me, which apparently has found an appreciative audience among certain staff members. This was the feedback from two of my friends of the male variety after they and their other male colleagues saw the bulletin. I am innocent I say!

I spent Day 2 out and about at a conference where I not only learnt stuff, but also met people I have not seen since I came back and so there was a lot of kissing and hugging and "oooohing" and "aaaaahing" and catching up. It was nice. I felt loved. I also felt tired. My body is taking its time getting used to the graveyard shift hours. I wake up at 3.30am on the nose and I am heavily caffeine dependent before the day really gets going. Not good.

Other than that, nothing exciting to share. I am car shopping - an urgent purchase. As you all know I loathe public transportation and it's really bad here. I dread each day I have to take a taxi to get somewhere. Besides the general rudeness of some drivers, you also have the smells and antics of the other passengers. Today's award winning odour came from a woman who clearly wore pumps all day and then changed into flip flops this evening. The trouble was, her feet were stink! Really stink!!! The driver had no choice but to switch off the a/c and turn the windows down. Thank God it was a short ride.

This already feels like the longest week ever!

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Elated!

It's been a long road - with cold weather, no sleep, homesickness, crusty books. But my results came today and I am graduating with my Masters, with Distinction. And you have all been there through my adventures - scholastic and otherwise so I had to share my happiness with you. I am really thankful to have made it through with my sanity, with great times and awesome people. Thank you for making me smile and keeping me off the brink.

Cheers! I can soooo use a freakin' caipirinha right now!

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