A Squashed Social Life

When I woke up this morning, it was not good. Not good at all. I dragged myself to the bathroom, took a shower and went down to get myself some breakfast so I could pump drugs into my system. I am funny like that. Not about pumping drugs into my system, but about breakfast. I cannot, most times, eat breakfast without first having a shower. I guess I can add that to my list of neuroses - must be clean to eat a bagel. It's not as bad as all that. I have had breakfast in my jammies, but it's one of those meals I don't have as often as I would like, and it's also one of those meals that you can, when you do have time to have it, lounge about and relax - read the paper, read blogs, watch a little tv, etc. In any event, I don't like sitting around all morning in post-wake up mode - wake up face etc. Once I have rolled out of that bed, I like to have my shower first thing!

Anyway, despite feeling like rubbish, I still managed to do the house bunny type things. I cut up bits of dead chicken, seasoned and left to marinate, chopped veggies, and made not one, but 2 awe-inspiring meals - pelau and roasted butternut squash soup. The former I knew I could not stomach today with my poor tummy in knots, but which would be lunch/dinner for the rest of the week and it would be better to do everything today so I would not have to face the nightmare of cooking a second time this week. The latter, which I have been craving for weeks and which goes well with the crummy weather and crummy tummy, turned out pretty fabulous if I say so myself.

I was up until 4 this morning transcribing, and still managed to roll off the bed at 8.45, so I am pretty wiped out, especially after all the cooking and cleaning. I have not left the house since Friday and even though I am not feeling well, I sure as hell am looking forward to getting out this house tomorrow. I hope that's still on - no word yet from the tomorrow planner. But rain or shine, I am outta this dungeon.

One major plus of London over Trinidad is that the vast majority of my friends are all single, which makes going out more fun. Once upon a time, my friends back home were single and we would be out and about, enjoying life.

Then came men and marriage and babies and death sentence. Death sentence you say? Well, maybe that is being overly dramatic but while I recognise that life changes after marriage and I accept this - and would not really want to be friends with young mothers who stumble out of nightclubs drunk and disorderly after 3 in the morning - life really just ended. More so for the single friend. lol. Me.

Life definitely changed. For them - it probably changed for the better. For me - not so much. I think this is where my independent streak started - doing stuff I liked doing, no matter what. Going boldly where no cute Trininista had gone before...and on my own. It has made me bolder and more adventurous in some ways and more open to stuff I would not have done before while swathed in the normalcy of girlfriendhood.

Now my girlfriends had husbands and babies and somehow, despite our best efforts, we just did not do things together anymore that often - not even sister neutral things - things both the wives/mummies and the unencumbered single friend could do and enjoy. No resentment, but I just needed to fix my mix in my own way because life was still hurtling along - with or without them.

Still, it's always more fun to have buddies to share your interests with - even if you have to do them in the rain.  Thanks, London.


  1. I can totally empathize with you on the friends getting married/having babies! I've made a new group on non-parent friends, but I miss the gals I used to spend nightlife with!

  2. I know what you mean. You are forced to make new friends but they're not quite the same than the old vanguard. lol. Sigh.

  3. You made me hungry for soup!


  4. I know what you mean. My bff (still single) annoys the hell out of me when she complains about stuff which I now consider frivolous..., frivolous compared to seeing your newborn hooked up to machines and wondering if he is going to survive. So yes, things change after having kids.

  5. Hope you are feelin better .. the soup sounds fabulous!!! and get out and enjoy the outside...xo HHL

  6. Soup looks good please post the receipe.

    I can definately relate to you. I am in the process of developing some new friendships with girls who are not moms or tied down in long term relationships. To stay active I have had to start doing new things to meet new people after old friends got settled in new lifestyles.

  7. I am sorry you aren'y feeling well! It is hard to maintain friendships as life changes, for anyone. But some good friendships are worth working hard to keep!

  8. I totally identify with this - albeit with a foot in both camps. I have two lives - my mum life, and (now that I am blogging about it) my single life. Before that, I just stayed in. Clearly, though, as I am a parent, I never get drunk and stumble. EVER. ;-)

  9. It's funny how relationships can change your friendships. I'm about to be divorced. My ex & I have been apart for nearly two years. I pretty much don't do anything with any of my old friends...not even the girls night out stuff we used to do on a regular basis. Our kids still play together, but as I am spouse-less, I no longer belong.

    It makes me sad in some respects, but like you, I have found new found independence...and I love it. :)


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